In These Dying Hours
by windwhisprer
Summary: [SanzoGoku] In these dying hours of the night, the monster sleeps. But when the sun rises, Goku finds himself nothing but prey running from it's preditor. How can Sanzo save Goku, when it means killing the young man?
1. Chapter One

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter One**

It was supposed to be another average fight. Demons attacked. They kicked some serious ass. Blah. Blah. Blah. It was the same every time. But today, something went wrong. No one was sure what it was, but everyone agreed that something happened, which left a bitter taste in everyone's mouths.

"Goddamn demons! You ruined a perfectly good breakfast, yah know that!" Goku yelled, before jumping onto one of the demon's shoulders, ramming his Nyoi-bo down into his head. The demon could do nothing more then gurgle out a cry of pain, before falling helplessly to the ground. Goku did not pause, however, but turned to take out more of his attackers.

"I swear monkey," Gojyo commented lazily, sighing helplessly. "All you ever think about is food."

"Do not!" came Goku's reply.

Hakkai could do nothing but laugh, as he charged another chi blast. "What do you say then? After this, it's a four hour drive to town. We can have a big lunch, on Sanzo's tab, of course."

The Monkey King cheered, before ramming his Nyoi-bo into another demon, sending it reeling. Sanzo snorted, cocking his Smith & Wesson and taking aim. "Remind me to send you the bill, Hakkai." He said simply, before pullng the trigger, nailing one of the monsters through the eyes.

The group assembled as it seemed they had finished killing off the rest of Kougaiji's assasins. Gojyo yawned, cracking his shoulder. "Are we off then?" he asked, looking from Hakkai to Sanzo. Then over at Goku who seemed to be making sure the last of them were dead, before heading over to the smell assembled group.

"Goku! Move!" came Sanzo's horrified yell. Goku turned, in time to see one of the demons get to his feet, ramming his claws towards the young monkey. Goku could do nothing but stare as the claws were rammed through his chest. He gave out a squeak of pain, before Sanzo pulled the trigger. The bullet hit the demon in the side of the head, causing it to fall helplessly to the ground. Goku sunk to his knees, slightly stunned.

"Goku!" Hakkai called, hurrying to his side. "Are you all right?"

Goku's golden eyes were directed down to his middle, where a large gaping hole _should have _been. Instead, he looked perfectly fine, as if the attack never happened. It didn't even hurt anymore. Goku felt around where the wound should have been, a little stunned. "I-I guess..."

"What the hell happened?" Gojyo snapped, turning to look at the limp form of the demon.

Sanzo snorted, pulling out one of his Marlboro Red's, and sticking it between his lips. "The attack must've missed. End of story. Now let's get the hell out of here." With that, the monk turned on his heel, heading out of the small clearing.

Nervously, Goku got to his feet, stilll unsure about the 'lack-o-wound'. It wasn't as though he was complaining, but still... His hand fell to his chest, where the wound should have been.

It felt so weird.

---

"Food, food, food, food, food, food! Bed, bed, bed, bed, bed!" Goku couldn't help but cheer out in a sing-song tone, as he fell onto the soft bed in the inn. Sanzo had decided to spend the night in the town, even though it was only noon. The next town was two days away, and no one felt like sleeping outside when a warm bed was so close.

Goku cuddled the soft pillow to his chest, more then happy to have a soft place to sleep tonight. He could've dozed off right then and there, and slept until morning, should that not mean missing dinner. "Ch, your such an idiot," Goku opened his golden eyes, and glanced up at Sanzo. His 'roommate to be' tonight. He let a small smile catch his lips as he watched the monk pace the room for a moment, before relaxing in the bed opisite him. Goku pushed his face into the pillow to try and hide his smile.

He loved the way Sanzo walked. The way he held himself. Calm. Strong. And more then a little in control. It was little over a month ago when the realization hit him. He loved the blonde monk. It had just hit him randomly one day. How Goku had not seen it earlier? Sanzo was the sun. Goku was the Earth. Everyone knows the Earth would die without the sun. Sometimes he found himself wondering; would the sun die without the Earth? Goku doubted it. Sanzo was strong, he would carry on without him.

He frowned at that thought, but immediately brushed it away. He turned his attention back to the monk who had taken a few minutes to rest his eyes. Goku studied every part of him. His golden blonde hair. His broad, strong shoulders. His middle. Those long, powerful legs. Yup, Goku nodded to himself. He was totally head-over-heels in love with the man.

He would never breath a word of it though. He knew that Sanzo didn't feel the same, and wouldn't dare let his weakness for the man show. He knew it would only end in a broken heart.

Goku climbed from the bed, careful not to disturb his sun, as he headed out onto the balcony. He stepped out into the sunlight, stretching his sore muscles out. It felt great not to be confined to the back seat of a jeep with Gojyo. He glanced up at the blue sky, shielding his eyes from the brightness of it all. He couldn't help but bounce on his heels, leaning against the railing. He loved the sun. The brightness of day. It reminded him of the day Sanzo freed him. The boy had been so bewildered by the trees, the animals, the rivers, but mostly, of the man who had taken him in. Beautiful days like this only reminded him of Sanzo, and how no matter what, he never wanted to let the man go.

His gaze directed down, finding streets filled with people shopping. He watched as Hakkai and Gojyo stepped out the door, heading out to gather more supplies. His wrinkled his nose in a combination of annoyance and jealousy when Gojyo placed his arm around Hakkai's shoulders. Those two thought their relationship was a secret. Goku couldn't help but snort. He wondered if the two had figured out yet that you couldn't keep secrets when most of your day is spent in a jeep with three other people.

His gaze drifted out past the mainstreams of town, and caught sight of a forest just outside the city's limits. There was a beautiful crystal lake in the middle of it. He couldn't help but smile. Maybe going out exploring today would prove interesting.

"What are you grinning about, you stupid monkey?"

Goku turned, finding Sanzo standing in the doorway behind him. His posture was slouching, and his hand was pulled through his hair, holding his bangs back and letting the red chakra on his forehead stick out like a sore thumb. Goku smirked.

Exploring with the monk would prove even more interesting.

Goku shrugged, turning his attention back out to town. "Nothin'," he said simply. "I was just thinking."

"Really, I didn't know you could think," Sanzo muttered dully.

Goku shrugged the insult off, turning to face the man. "There's a place I want to explore. Come with me?" he asked, puffing out his golden eyes in a way he knew Sanzo couldn't refuse.

Sanzo looked into the large pleading eyes of the brunette and scoffed, turning his eyes away. "Kids explore," he said dully. "Adults take walks."

Goku smirked. "Fine then. Would you take a walk with me?"

Sanzo shrugged one shoulder.

Goku grinned, grabbing his arm and leading him towards the door before he had the chance to change his mind. They were soon out in the street, surrounded by many people all rushing to get to where they needed to be. Luckily, no one seemed to recognize Sanzo, letting the man and his monkey enjoy their afternoon. Goku began prattling on, pointing out which restaurants they should go to for dinner, all the while making his way towards the forest which contained the beautiful crystal lake.

It seemed like forever until they were out of the crowds of people. Soon buildings were replaced with trees, and water came into view. Goku shot Sanzo a smile-- which was returned with an annoyed look-- before hurrying towards the lake.

He came into a clearing, glancing out at the crystal waters that spanned out in front of him. It wasn't overly big-- only stretching at least twenty-five meters across at most-- but the surface of the lake shone like glass. Goku almost believed that if he stepped on it, it would be hard. "Wow," he gaped, before turning back to Sanzo, as the blonde haired man made his way out of the foliage, looking the lake over in silent amazement. "Isn't it pretty, Sanzo?"

Sanzo scoffed. "No," he muttered, before taking a seat on the grass, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one. "Just hurry up and finish your little childish exploring so we can get back to the inn."

Goku scowled at him, but none the less turned to enjoy the quiet peace of this cut off world. He picked up a smooth rock, and was tempted to throw it into the glass-like lake. He finally decided against it. He pocketed the smooth stone, before turning and taking a seat next to the blonde monk. Goku fell back into the grass and closed his eyes with a content sigh, happy to be in the monk's presence. Finally, he peeled open his golden orbs, and surveyed the sky above him. It was absolutely pallet blue. Almost the same color as the water. Only a single cloud obscured his vision of the clear sky.

_"It looks like a meat bun," _Goku thought with a silent snicker.

He glanced over at Sanzo, finding the monk gazing off. He seemed less agitated then normal, which made Goku smile. This moment was absolutely peaceful. It was perfect. Goku didn't care who; it could've been Kougaiji, a hoard of demons, Gojyo, or even Gyumaoh himself, if anyone disturbed this moment he wouldn't hesitate to beat them into putty.

"Hey, Sanzo," Goku droned suddenly, studying the monk's face. Taking in every one of his features. It was an odd pass time he'd picked up while traveling in the jeep.

"What?" came Sanzo's sharp reply.

"What would you do if I died?"

Sanzo's reply didn't come right away. The monk pulled in the last breath of his cigarette, before tossing it away without a care. After letting the smoke file out the corners of his mouth, he said, "Don't ask stupid questions."

Goku couldn't help but snicker. He placed a hand over his mouth, hoping Sanzo didn't hear him. Either he didn't hear him or he didn't care, as he did not snap back at him, embarrassed as he usually would. Goku let himself relax back into the grass, hoping to enjoy this moment of peace for a few minutes longer. Feeling eyes on him, he cracked an eye open, looking up at his sun who was watching him out of the corner of his eye. Goku let a small smile catch his lips, propping himself up on his elbows. "What are you looking at?" he snapped, through his tone held no malice, simply amusement.

"Nothing," came Sanzo's reply. "I just wanted to know what you're grinning about."

"Do you really want to know?" came Goku's casual reply.

Sanzo frowned at the boy. "Yes," he said, though there was slight uncertainty in his tone.

Goku leaned in close, so their noses were practically touching. He was grinning in the most evil way he could manage. "I was thinking about..." he trailed off, and his grin faded. He hadn't realized how close they were. He could feel the monk's uneven breath on his lips. Smelling just like cigarettes. Goku found he could not say anything, and was overcome by the desire to close the distance and kiss the monk. He forced the feeling back down. There was no way he could do that. He would ruin the delicate relationship the two shared. "...meatbuns," he whispered.

Sanzo moved, allowing him the freedom to fall back on the grass, closing his eyes and trying to calm his speeding heart. He heard Sanzo light another cigarette next to him. He listened as the monk drew the breath in, then let the smoke out through his lips. Lips Goku so desired to kiss.

"C'mon Goku," he peeled open an eye, looking up at Sanzo who had chosen to end the small era of peace. "We should head back to the inn." Without waiting for the brunette, the man turned and headed off towards the town.

Goku climbed to his feet, the smallest of frowns touching his lips. Yeah. Sure. It wasn't like he should even be allowed peaceful moments with his sun anyway. Growling slightly at that thought, he begrudgingly headed after the Sanzo priest.

---

_Running. Screaming. Panting. He was out of breath. Every muscle in his body burned as he ran. What was he running from? He had no idea. But someone... something was hunting him, and he had to get away. His feet ached. Blisters littered the undersides of his feet, along with cuts that leaked blood all over the ground every time he took a step. How long was he running?! Why couldn't he stop!? He felt like sobbing from the exertion. _

_He suddenly tripped. He collapsed into the dirt, crying and unable to move. Everything burned. His body refused to listen to him. But he had to get away! He had to keep running! "Get up!" he turned his golden eyes up the man who had spoken. _

_Sanzo? It had to be. The man wore purple robes, ones he did not recognize... but.. that golden hair, those purple eyes. It was Sanzo, wasn't it?_

_"Sa--" _

_"She's coming!" the Sanzo look-alike pressured, pulling him to his feet. "We have to keep running!" _

_He managed to swallow whatever saliva he could. "Y-Yeah. Sorry. Let's go." The two took off running again. He had no idea who this man was, but being with him made him feel secure. Safe. Just like when he was with Sanzo. Still, he found himself glancing over his shoulder, waiting for the beast to strike. _

_Suddenly the Sanzo look-alike stopped, and so did he. "Keep running!" he yelled. _

_The young boy was taken aback. "S-Sanzo?" _

_"Keep running!" the man yelled again. "I'll stall her!" _

_He couldn't help but nod, turning to run. He only managed to run for a few feet, before he turned back to the Sanzo look-alike. His eyes widened in horror as he watched the man's chest spew blood, and he sank to his knees. He could feel himself shaking. No. This wasn't happening. _

_"KONZEN!" he would come to wonder where that name had come from, but for now, all he could do was call it out and sob as the man who had tried to protect him was dying. He forced his legs to work as he ran to the man's side. He rolled him over, gazing into his lifeless purple eyes. He could feel himself sobbing. "No. Konzen, no..." he shook his head, as if trying to deny this was really happening. _

_"Goku," the man groaned out weakly. "Are... are you going to let this happen to me a second time?" _

_"What?" _

_Konzen grabbed his shirt pulled him in close. His lips twisted into a sickly grin. "Are you gonna let Sanzo die too?" _

A cry caught in his throat as Goku bolted awake. He sat straight up, fists clenching the blanket so hard his knuckles were turning white. It took Goku a moment to catch his breath. What happened? Glancing around, he found himself in the room he was sharing with Sanzo. Glancing over, he found the monk calmly sleeping, unaware of the nightmare his monkey just had. His silhouette was illuminated by the moonlight being let in through the window. Seeing the man's sleeping form calmed his nervous slightly, as it always seemed to.

Goku ran his fingers through his sweat-cloaked hair, trying to calm himself. What was that? That man... Konzen? He said something about letting Sanzo die. What was he talking about?

Goku sighed, and fell back into the soft pillows. It was just a dream. Just a dream and nothing more. It meant nothing. Goku managed to slow his thundering heart, and close his eyes. Just a dream...

Goku got no further sleep that night.

* * *

**A/N: **There we go. Chapter one for my first long SanzoGoku story. I don't like how this came out though, future chapters will be better, and more mushy. I can't wait to write more of this. I have so many ideas I'm itching to try. I just hope people out there like what I'm writing. Oh well, as usual, I'm open to anything you wish to say. Flames, criticism, praise, I don't really care.

Also, I'm not sure as to how deep I'm going to make Sanzo and Goku's relationship (If any at all. Haha) So rating may go up in future chapters. Just a warning. If it does suddenly spike up because of my inner pervert, then I shall place a warning in the chapter before, and the chapter itself. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and please review!


	2. Chapter Two

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Two **

After spending several hours tossing and turning, Goku had decided against sleeping, and gone out to train. The dream was disturbing anyway, and he needed something to distract him. So he quietly slipped from the room, and headed out to the small forest he visited before. Because the streets were empty that late at night, it was relatively easy to make his way over to the wall of trees. Within minutes he was training. Kicking at empty air and attempting to clear his head.

It worked. For several hours it put his mind to rest, as he focused on was fighting his invisible enemy. He didn't even realize the sun had risen the next morning until he heard people bustling along not far from where he stood. Turning, he realized the town was alive with people, all eager to get their chores done before the rush set in.

Goku wiped the sweat from his bow. Might as well head back, he figured. Hakkai would be up soon, and start asking him questions about where he went all night. So, he quickly turned and walking through the streets, heading for the inn they were staying at. He went inside, finding the Sinner had indeed awoken, and was now rousing everyone else from sleep. Mostly just Gojyo, who had stayed up late drinking and playing cards. Sanzo was already awake, wandering about in his usual dead-like state. Demons could have attacked and Sanzo would be too drowsy to notice.

Sanzo never was a morning person.

Hakkai asked him where he went, considering he was covered in sweat and dirt. Goku merely shrugged, and said, "Training," before heading to the bathroom for a shower.

After washing up and getting changed, he headed downstairs. Gojyo and Hakkai were seated at the table, gathering breakfast. Sanzo was bumping around for coffee. He needed a dose of caffeine before he would really start waking up. Then he would return to his grumpy self, and beat Goku and Gojyo for acting like idiots at the breakfast table.

It was a routine Goku had gotten used to in the last seven years.

He took a seat at the table, and was about to reach out for some rolls when he stopped, and cringed. Great. It felt like a headache was setting in, a big one too. He retracted his hand, holding his head in an attempt to dull the pain.

"Something wrong Goku?" Hakkai asked, noticing the brunette's behavior.

"Yeah, I think I got a headache," he muttered.

Hakkai smiled a little smile. "That's what you get for spending all night training. Next time, try to get some more sleep or else you'll catch a cold. Then what will we do with you?"

Goku grinned. "Yeah. 'Kay Hakkai!" His eyes then went sharp, as Gojyo grabbed the rolls he was going for. "Hey, those're mine, you goddamn stupid Kappa!"

"I don't see your name on them, monkey!"

As Goku lunged for the rolls, he couldn't help but think something was wrong with him. He'd never been sick before, so why now was he suddenly getting random headaches? He had to think it was about more then just lack of sleep. He brushed the thought from his mind as he began gnawing on Gojyo's arm.

At the moment food was more important to him.

---

Goku was starting to seriously think something was wrong with him.

They had set out early that morning, considering Sanzo was complaining that they were staying too long, and he was convinced someone's mind would suddenly click, and realize he was the great Sanzo who had come to bless them all. Sanzo hated that, so without complaints everyone filed into the jeep, and said their silent goodbyes to warm beds which they would not again see for two nights.

All during the ride Goku could not fall asleep. Even on a normal night of sleep-- ranging usually from eleven to twelve hours-- he could sleep practically all day in the back of the jeep. But today his body would not let him nod off. Even after only three hours of sleep. It wasn't as though he was overly tired, or that his mind was processing thoughts too fast to relax, it was simply that his body didn't desire the need to sleep, therefore, he didn't.

With Gojyo asleep, Sanzo reading his newspaper, and Hakkai driving silently, Goku found himself extremely bored. So he leaned back in the jeep, and surveyed the sky.

It was a beautiful pallet blue. Just as it was yesterday. There was a cloud off to the side, but it hurt his neck to turn and look at it. Goku couldn't help but think the sky was nothing but a painting. Some color in an artists's mind. The man then pained the sky the color in his mind. A beautiful, everlasting blue only blotted occasionally was a fluffy white cloud, making it all the more beautiful.

He couldn't help but think back to the previous day. Seated by the lake with Sanzo. Amazing, godly, sexy Sanzo. He closed his eyes as he let the imagery take over his senses. Instead of simply reliving it, he added things. Sanzo would lean over, capturing Goku in a powerful kiss. He would taste like cigarette smoke, flavored with whiskey and all wrapped in a scent that was all Sanzo's. Most people would find the taste of smoke and whiskey appalling, but Goku couldn't imagine Sanzo without that encircling scent of smoke lingering behind him.

As his vision started to trail off-- hands in various places, harsh breathing-- the jeep hit a bump, causing Goku to ram his head on the back of the vehicle, dragging him back to an all painful reality. He sat up and grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head. Damn, reality was harsh.

So, he was hungry, bored, couldn't sleep, and it seemed heaven would not even allow him the relief of imagining a relationship with Sanzo. What else could go wrong today?

---

He had to ask.

"Goku!" Hakkai called over the incessant sounds of pouring rain. "Please grab the tarp for me?"

Goku turned to grab the tarp from the jeep, no longer caring how wet he got. He was already soaked to the bone, and no longer cared anymore. He pulled the bag, continuing the tarp from the jeep, allowing the small white dragon to revert to his normal form, and fly towards Hakkai, taking shelter as it wiggled up into the warmth of his shirt. Goku lugged the tarp back over to where Hakkai was finishing nailing the large tent to the ground. Gojyo was busing himself with the tarp on the other tent, while Sanzo was inside, taking shelter from the rain. Gojyo made some snide remark about the monk, but it could not be heard over the sound of rain.

After the tents had been pitched up, the four retreated into Sanzo and Goku's tent for dinner. Hakkai made a small fire, and cooked dinner. It was eerily silent. Hakkai had a faraway look on his face, as he stirred the pot over the fire. Sanzo just smoked, staring off into the rain. Goku sighed through his nose. He'd seen the two this way. It was why he too, had come to detest the rain.

Dinner was eaten in silence. Goku tried to get the monk to eat, but the man simply said he could have his share, and as Goku continued to pester him, the man had snapped at him. Goku placed Sanzo's dinner off to the side. He was sure he'd be able to convince the man to eat it later.

Gojyo and Hakkai retired to their tent after that. Gojyo actually wished him well, before turning to tend to his own, sorrowful lover. Goku had no doubt that Gojyo would be able to cheer Hakkai up, if even just a little bit. Goku on the other had had no idea what to do with Sanzo.

"Sanzo?" the monk did not even look up at him, but merely sat on his bedroll, staring out into the rain. "I think you should eat something. It's not healthy to skip dinner," he gave a small smile. "It's a real important meal you know. Right up there with all the other six vital meals your supposed to have."

Sanzo did not crack a smile, or even look over at him. Then again, Goku wasn't expecting otherwise. He sighed, making his way over to the melancholy monk. "Please Sanzo? Eat it, for me?"

Sanzo turned his purple eyes over to him, tossing away the cigarette as it began to burn away at the filter. "Leave me alone," he muttered sourly, lighting up another Marlboro Red. "You're really annoying."

Goku frowned. "I'm just asking you to eat it Sanzo, nothing else."

"And I'm just telling you to shut the hell up!" Sanzo snapped.

"Why?" Goku shouted back, his hands balling into fists. He hated how cold the Sanzo priest could get sometimes. "Why should I shut up just because I care about you!?"

Sanzo paused for a moment, his retort cut short. Though his natural guard flew up, as it always did. "Because I don't want to hear it from an idiot like you!"

Goku finally groaned, and turned away from the monk. Sanzo turned his attention back to his cigarette, glad that he'd won. Just as he was about to light the thing, arms wrapped around his neck, and he found a small body clutching him from behind. He had actually dropped his cigarette in surprise, but immediately growled. "Let go of me, Goku."

"No."

"I said let go of me you stupid monkey!"

"Not until you eat dinner. If you won't eat dinner, then I'm never going to let go!" Goku cried, his grip on the monk tightening.

A voice in the back of Sanzo's mind chirped that the monkey was actually quite warm, despite still being wet from the rain. He immediately dismissed that thought. The last thing he needed was to have his will cave because the monkey was too adorable to turn down. He wasn't going to lose to him tonight. So he positioned his elbow to stick into the monkey's neck, trying to pry him off that way. Sanzo pushed as hard as he could, but Goku would not let go. He decided to try a different approach, and pry his fingers from his middle.

He pulled at the boy's hands, twisted skin, bent fingers back, but still the monkey wouldn't let go. "Let me go you goddamn monkey!" Sanzo yelled.

"Not until you eat!" Goku cried again, his voice growing more and more desperate.

Sanzo was not about to give in. This had turned into a battle of pride. If he gave in, then he would never be able to live it down. He finally decided that the monkey would get tired eventually, and then he would be able to pry him off. An hour past, then two, and still the monkey had not relinquished his hold on him, nor had it loosened. If anything his grip had gotten tighter, as if afraid to let him go.

Sanzo still smoked, as the rain began to let up, making sure to blow the smoke deliberately in Goku's direction, hoping that would cause the brunette to let go. Instead Goku buried his face in the man's shoulder, trying to avoid the smoke. Sanzo immediately stopped trying to irite the boy, as his actions were causing shivers to run down his spine.

Sometime during the silence, both men had drifted off into slumber.

---

_Once again he was running. And once again everything was burning. Why was he running? He felt like something was chasing him, yet he had not even turned around, and saw the beast pursuing him. But he knew it was there. He could practically feel it breathing down his neck. _

_He was sobbing as he ran as well. The man who had tried to protect him was dead. They were all dead. He had no idea who they were, but he just _knew _that there had been more then one person protecting him, and they had all perished to help him escape. _

_Chains were clanking together as he ran. They were beating against his body, making it all the more difficult to keep running. As he stepped down again, and the chains around his ankle hit the earth, it practically opened up, grabbing the chains and causing him to fall to the ground, flat on his face. _

_He turned around and quickly began clawing at the earth around his chains, crying. He had to free himself. He had to get away. But as the ground hardened into stone, he found he was only dragging his fingertips along the stone, causing skin to be torn away and blood to quickly cover the ground. He retracted his hands, and turning to glance up as someone approached him. _

_It was two girls. Both about the same age, perhaps two or three years younger then him. They were both wearing identical dresses-- save for one was white and the other black. He could've sworn he had seen them before, but couldn't place his finger on it. _

_"You have been a bad boy, Son Goku," the one in the white dress said, her eyes solid and annoyed. _

_"What?" _

_"Lady Nuriko shall have to punish you," the one in the black said. _

_"Indeed she shall," agreed the one in white. _

_"What's going on?" he choked out. "What's happening?" _

_"This is your warning," the one in white said. "We are merely here to tell you what is to come." _

_"We shall see you again soon, though," agreed the one in black with a smile. _

_The one in white held up a single finger. "First, we must cleanse you of your human toxins. I'm afraid you'll be sick for a while." _

_"Second," the one in black said, holding up two fingers. "We must take away your ability to sleep. It is only for a short time, so do not worry." _

_"Then third," the white continued. "It is your will to eat we will steal." _

_"Fourth," he was having a hard time trying to process al the information they were given him, while switching back and forth between the two. "You must give up your ability to feel." _

_"And finally," the white said, causing a small smile to catch her lips. "It is your voice we will steal. When you find your voice has been stolen, expect Lady Nuriko's presence. We will look forward to our meeting, Son Goku." _

_"Why is this... Nuriko haunting me?!" he cried out. _

_The two girls looked between each other, smiling. "Trust us," they both said in perfect unison. "You know why she is haunting you." They both clapped their hands and suddenly--_

Goku bolted awake. He found himself out of breath, as he lay panting. He wiped the sweat from his brow, hoping to calm his thundering heart. What was that? Another dream? Why was it he was being haunted lately? He managed to calm himself, repeating to himself that it was just a dream.

Something stirred beside him, and he glanced over, finding Sanzo asleep next to him. Did he really fall asleep with Sanzo? A small smile caught his lips as he found one of Sanzo's arms flung across his middle. Perhaps Sanzo really did care for him! Before he let it develop, he brushed that thought away. He didn't want to set himself up for disappointment.

With the dream all but forgotten, he settled himself down next to the monk, wrapping his arms around the blonde's middle. For some reason, as soon as his eyes caught the monk, he knew that everything was going to be all right. It sometimes bugged him how Sanzo could so easily make him calm, or depressed, or angry even. The monk had more power then he could ever imagine.

Goku closed his eyes, surrounding himself in Sanzo's scent. He couldn't help but wonder if the monk's presence would scare off his nightmares. None the less, Goku allowed himself to completely enjoy the moment, as he slipped into slumber.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, I understand that the dream is rushed and confusing, but it's supposed to be that way. You'll have to keep reading to find out what it means.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I have lots of fun writing every chapter, actually. Also, I've written ahead, and there's a lime in chapter five, which is why the rating suddenly jumped up. I understand if you don't want to read it. I'm going to put a warning in that chapter as well, whenever I get around to posting it up. I don't know if there will be any more limes. I don't think I'll be writing any Lemons, because well... I'm still an innocent child! (cough) but it all depends on the perviness of my reviewers! Please review, and tell me your thoughts.


	3. Chapter Three

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Three**

Sanzo really didn't want to get up that morning. As he began to wake up, and found the monkey's arms wrapped around his middle, he wanted nothing more then to fall back into unconsciousness and enjoy this moment further. He had to wonder momentarily how they'd managed to fall asleep, and prayed to the heavens that Hakkai hadn't walked in on them, with nothing more then the intent to wake them up. His exhausted gaze trailed towards the tent flap, where morning light streamed in. There was a high possibility Hakkai and Gojyo were up by now. Damn.

Turning his attention back to the boy in his arms, he couldn't help but crack the faintest of smiles. Goku's face had nuzzled into his robes, and he seemed to be smiling softly as he slept. Sanzo wished he could just hold the little brat, and wait until he woke up before the two decided finally they had to get up. But he knew he couldn't. He had to shove the brat off of him, get up and act annoyed that the entire thing had taken place. He was supposed to distance himself from people. He wasn't _aloud _to get attached. He wouldn't be able to handel losing someone that close to him again.

Though he would never admit it, he knew that if he lost Goku now, he'd feel as bad as he did when he lost Koumyou, perhaps even worse.

Reluctantly, he pulled himself from the boy's hold. He added a little shove, just for effect. "Get off me," he muttered, though knew the boy was still asleep. He stood, stretching out as the monkey curled into himself.

"No... cold..." he whimpered.

"Serves you right for sleeping in wet clothes, idiot," Sanzo snapped back, turning towards the tent entrance. He pulled the flap back, blinking as the morning light filled his senses. He stepped outside, finding Hakkai and Gojyo sitting in front of a small fire, making breakfast. Hakkai was immersed in their map, while Gojyo tended to making sure their food didn't burn. Hakkai looked up and smiled, greeting him in the usual way.

"Good morning, Sanzo."

"Hm," Sanzo replied, making his way over to them.

He took a seat across from them, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Before he could even open his mouth to ask for it, a cup of coffee was shoved into his hands. He gladly accepted it. He watched Gojyo closely, as the man couldn't stop grinning. A feeling of dread began building in his chest as he watched him. "So, Sanzo," he chirped. "Did you have a nice sleep?" he then proceeded to snicker. Hakkai even tried to hold back a laugh, hiding behind his map.

Well, apparently their night hadn't been completely private. He scowled, sipping the coffee. "Say another word, you damned kappa, and I won't hesitate to put a bullet through your eyes." Gojyo smiled knowingly, but held his hands up in surrender.

The tent flap then opened again, as a drowsy brunette stuck his head out. Goku stepped out of the tent, heading over to them. He stumbled over his own feet while trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes. He looked like Sanzo on most days, which was odd, considering the youth was normally so full of energy. "Good morning, Goku," Hakkai said brightly. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."

"Hm," he muttered, turning his glazed golden eyes around the small clearing. Gojyo couldn't help but smirk. He knew there was going to be hell to pay for his actions, but at the moment found the need to torment Sanzo while he could. He got up from his seat, heading over to Goku and slinging his arm over his shoulders.

"So Goku," he said, not even trying to hide the grin on his face. "Do tell. Is our dear Sanzo-sama no longer a virgin?"

Two warning shots were fired, causing Gojyo to jump back in fright. Sanzo held his gun out, a look of pure hatred marring his features. "That's it," he ground out. "I'm going to improve the ventilation in that hot-head of yours."

Goku stayed surprisingly quiet through the argument. He merely stared at the ground with glazed golden eyes. Hakkai turned his attention away from the rucas, focusing on the youngest of their group. Worry crossed his face. "Goku, is something wrong?"

Goku said nothing as his legs gave out under him, and he collapsed.

"Goku!" Hakkai called, abandoning his spot by the fire and hurrying over to the boy's side. Gojyo and Sanzo's fight paused, as they turned to find out what had happened to the monkey. Hakkai rolled the young man over, checking different points. He then laid a hand on the boy's forehead, biting his lip.

"What's wrong?" Gojyo asked, bending down beside the man, glancing nervously between him and the fallen brunette.

"Goku has a high fever-- really high. I'm afraid this is beyond my knowledge. We should hurry and get him to the next town," Hakkai said, turning his green eyes over to Gojyo.

"But the next town's another day's trip from here!" Gojyo exclaimed.

Hakkai picked up the young man, as Hakuryuu transformed into their jeep. "Then I'm afraid we'll have to hurry," was all he said, before placing the man in the back seat. Gojyo bounded to his feet, tearing down the tents as quickly as he could without ruining them.

Sanzo said nothing as he pulled out his box of cigarettes, and lit one up.

---

Despite their best efforts, they could only get so far. They had to stop for the night, after Hakuryuu could carry on no further. Sanzo had grown irritable after that, cursing the fact that the town was only an hour and a half's drive. But Hakkai firmly said that Hakuryuu would die if they pushed him too far, so, begrudgingly, Sanzo left it at that.

Goku had not woken once during the entire day's ride. His condition only seemed to worsen during the trip. His fever spiked, and along with it the boy seemed to be having phantom hallucinations. He groaned and squeaked in his sleep, trying to fight off both the fever and his nightmares. A fight which he appeared to be losing.

Sanzo had smoked double his usual amount during the trip. He simply sat in the passenger's seat in the jeep, and smoked. He went through an entire pack halfway through the day, and when he demanded Gojyo hand him another, the half-breed stated that he was smoking a little excessively. Even for him.

The pair had set up the tents, and cooked an easy dinner in silence. Each member of the party was worried about Goku. He had never gotten sick before, so how was he supposed to face such a high fever? It was unanimously decided that someone should watch over Goku during the night, feeding him the necessary medicine every few hours. It happened to be simple pain medication Hakkai always kept in stock. It seemed to be working-- if all it did was lull the monkey into a deeper state of unconsciousness.

Sanzo took up the roll of watching the monkey over. He stated that all Gojyo and Hakkai would achieve would be killing the poor boy. Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged looks, but let the man do as he pleased.

It was several hours after Gojyo and Hakkai had fallen asleep, that Sanzo found himself running low on cigarettes. He pulled the last Marlboro Red from it's package, sticking it between his teeth. He had a pack left after this. Great. At this pace he was going to run out and then what the hell would he do? He decided it would be better to pace himself, placing the cancer-stick back in it's package. After several minutes, he found worry eating away at his insides, and pulled the cigarette back out and lit it.

The brat stirred, and Sanzo looked up, wondering if it was time for another dose of painkillers. Instead of moaning and groaning at his faceless phantoms, his golden eyes cracked open slightly. They were glazed, and weak. He was still gasping for air, while sweat rolled off his forehead in rivulets. "S...Sanzo?" came his weak, cracked voice. It hurt Sanzo to hear. He'd never heard his charge sound so... vulnerable.

"What is it?" he replied evenly. He was eager to show the monkey he was there, but at the same time wanted to avoid hearing him sound so weak.

Golden eyes slowly trailed over to him, and it was accompanied by a tiny smile. "G-good..." he whispered. "You're... still here..."

"Where else would I be?" he asked quietly, unconsciously moving towards the youth. "I've told you before; I'm not going anywhere. Leaving an idiot like you behind would just leave a burden on humanity."

Goku took a moment to catch his breath. "I... know..." he took another moment, panting for air he was unable to get. "It's just... p-promise me something."

"What?"

"D... don't let me sleep again," Goku whispered, his voice growing softer and softer.

"If you don't sleep, you won't get any better, idiot," Sanzo grumbled, turning his eyes away as he blew smoke from his mouth.

"B-But," Sanzo couldn't help but glance back over at the kid's trembling voice. "I-I'm scared Sanzo. Every time I close my eyes, I see you dying. I..."

Sanzo sighed through his nose. "Look, I'm not going anywhere, okay? Sleep, get better. I'll be right here when you wake up."

A small hand reached up, grasping at empty air. "Promise?"

Sanzo couldn't help let a small smile catch his lips. "Yeah. I promise," then reaching out, he grasped Goku's hand in his own. The brunette then smiled weakly, closing his eyes and drifting off into slumber.

Unknowingly, Sanzo continued to hold the kid's hand, even after he lost consciousness. "Stupid brat," he mumbled, before grasping at another box of cigarettes.

---

As soon as they reached the town the next morning, Goku was practically thrown into the doctor's office. His fever had gone down slightly, but it was still too high for anyone's comfort. The doctor looked the young demon over, gave him some pills, and left Hakkai with strict instructions on how to care for the young man.

The four of them were then set up in an inn. Goku was immediately placed to bed, while Hakkai and Gojyo went shopping for supplies, and cigarettes on Sanzo's demand.

Sanzo could do nothing but sit back and read the newspaper. He was supposed to check Goku's tempeture every once in a while, changing the cold compress on his forehead occasionally. Sanzo couldn't help but find it a bit ridiculous. He was overheating, yet they piled so many blankets on him. Sanzo snorted and turned his attention back to the newspaper in front of him. Whatever. What did he care what they did to the brat?

After several attempts to immerse himself in the articles, Sanzo finally gave up, throwing the paper down in defeat. His violet gaze then trailed over to Goku, who was still unconscious beneath the heavy blankets. The monk pulled himself to his feet, heading slowly over to the bed where the small body lay. He let his gaze linger over the sick monkey-- for far longer then needed.

Sanzo shook his head, scowling at himself. After taking one more look at the boy, he decided he could no longer stand to be in the same room with him. He turned to leave, still annoyed that the pair had not yet returned with his cigarettes.

"S-Sanzo..." came a weak cry from behind him, making him freeze in his tracks. He turned slightly, but found the kid was still asleep. Goku was still trying to catch his breath. "Sanzo... m-my Sanzo... Don't leave... can't...d-die... my Sanzo.."

Suddenly remembering his promise, he sighed through his nose. He could've easily turned around and left him like that, but somehow found he couldn't. He turned, taking a seat next to the sleeping brunette. He brushed stray bangs from his eyes, gazing down fondly at the little monkey. He couldn't help but think of how grown up Goku had become over the last few years. When he found him, he was a loud, squabbling eleven-year-old. But now, it seemed the monkey had matured. In some ways more then others.

"If you don't get better soon," Sanzo muttered. "I'll shoot you myself. You're making it all the more difficult to get to India."

"I-I'm sorry..." Goku mumbled, sleep talking. "I'm... gonna die..."

"No you're not!" Sanzo snapped.

Goku groaned, swallowing whatever saliva he could. "I... I love you, Sanzo."

Sanzo stopped short, his retort cut off as he found he had no idea what to say. What the hell did the monkey say? "Say that again," Sanzo pressed, leaning in closer. He must've heard wrong. He had to. But by that time it was too late, Goku had slipped into a deeper state of unconsciousness. As Sanzo found himself gaping at the sleeping youth, he decided that he had heard wrong. The monkey was too stupid, too sick, and too drowsy to know what he was saying. Therefore, it meant nothing.

Right?

* * *

**A/N: **Chapter three! Horary! I like this chapter. Sanzo's so clueless. I like writing him like that. He's funny.

Anyway, I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend, Kat, who keeps bugging me for updates. Love yah.

Please review, and tell me your thoughts. Sankyuu.


	4. Chapter Four

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Four**

He was having a dreamless sleep. A lovely, dreamless sleep which he rarely got anymore. And as he woke up, he found himself groaning at the light that filtered in through his eyes. He groaned softly, throwing his arms over his eyes, before he stopped. The light... didn't give him a headache. He pulled his arms away, opening his golden eyes, peering up through the window to his right. He actually felt a lot better. He could look at the light without it giving him a skull-splitting headache. His nausea had gone away as well.

Slowly, Goku began to sit up, feeling like he did every morning. Drowsy, but otherwise completely fine. His eyes then snapped to his left as something stirred. His heart almost melted. Seated in the chair beside him was Sanzo. The monk's arms were crossed and his head was dropping slightly, proving he was asleep. Goku couldn't help but let a small smile catch his lips, as he leaned in to get a better look at the monk. His violet eyes were close, and his face was completely relaxed. He seemed so at peace, Goku decided that he liked the monk this way.

Daringly, he leaned forwards, brushing the monk's bangs from his eyes. Goku surveyed his sun with wide eyes, just soaking in every feature he couldn't make out from afar. _"If only..." _Goku thought longingly. _"If only you let me get this close to you when you're awake." _He leaned forwards, going in for the one thing he could only dream about. His lips were only millimeters from the monk's. Goku could feel the monk's hot breath on his lips. His heart was thundering against his ribcage. All he had to do... was... lean a bit...closer...

The monk stirred, and Goku pulled back immediately, gasping for breath, and trying to slow his heart rate. He'd never been that close to the man before. He couldn't believe he'd almost kissed him. Still, Goku couldn't risk going in again, for fear of having the monk wake up in the middle of the one-sided kiss. The last thing he wanted to do was explain why he was kissing the monk. So, Goku pulled away from the sleeping man, and got changed, before heading down for breakfast. His stomach was growling at him anyway.

---

Sanzo cracked his eyes open as the door behind him closed. How long had he been awake? He'd awoken to a hand brushing through his hair. At first, he thought it was an attacker, but immediately relaxed when he realized it was Goku. He didn't open his eyes, but instead let the monkey study his "sleeping form."

He didn't realize how startled he became as the monkey leaned in closer to him. He could feel the boy's nervous breath on his lips, when he stopped. Sanzo could only sit there as the monkey paused, possibly studying his face further.

Sanzo knew what the boy had in mind. He was going to kiss him. Yet he didn't open his eyes, didn't smack the monkey away. Instead, he stayed absolutely still, trying to give the young man the impression he was sleeping. Goku leaned in even closer, and was only millimeters from his lips. Sanzo couldn't take it anymore! He wanted to kick the monkey into hurrying up. In his desire to close the distance between them, his muscles gave an involuntary twitch, leaning towards the monkey slightly.

He realized his mistake as Goku pulled back immediately, gasping for needed air. He assumed the monkey's heart was pounding. He hated to admit it, but he could feel his own heart thundering in his chest. He felt the monkey slide from the bed, get changed and then leave him.

His hand fell to his heart, gripping the soft material of his black shirt. Why was he so worked up about this? That Goku nearly kissed him. He wasn't, he finally decided. He was just annoyed. Annoyed to realize last night, Goku had really spoke his mind. The monkey did love him. So what now? What was he supposed to do now that he knew? Sweep the monkey into his arms, and proclaim they could live together forever. Not likely. Sanzo didn't even think he was capable of love, and if he was, there was no way he would allow himself to feel like that. He had to distance himself from people. Lest history decide to repeat itself.

Sanzo closed his eyes to suppress his guilt. Koumyou Sanzo had died to protect him. His master. His father. The only person who Sanzo had ever allowed himself to get close to had been ripped from his grasp in one fell swoop. He couldn't allow that to happen to Goku. The young man had already dove to protect him on several occasions, taking hits for him that had actually knocked the monkey out of their battles for the next few days, no matter how much the monkey protested. Goku was already trying to protect him far more then Sanzo liked. He feared should he let this annoying little brat into his heart, it would only get worse. Then he would take a hit for Sanzo he would not wake up from.

Sanzo grumbled at where his train of thought was leading him, and stood. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes, and headed for the door.

He arrived downstairs to find thing unfolding as they did every morning. Enough food for a small army was spread out over the breakfast table. Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo were all seated around it. Said kappa and monkey were fighting over some sort of rice cake. Sanzo sighed, taking a seat at the table, and muttering something about being associated with idiots. Hakkai turned to him, smiling, and greeting him as he did every morning. "Hm," Sanzo growled, as he grabbed the newspaper, unfolding it and scanning the first page. "I don't see what's so good about it."

Hakkai smiled, and began pouring the blonde some coffee. "Well, Goku's recovered. Wouldn't that classify as something good?"

Sanzo glanced up at Goku as Hakkai spoke. The monkey was presently gnawing on Gojyo's hand, trying to get him to relinquish the plate of meat buns. "Whatever," he mumbled, before diving into his coffee. "As long as we can start heading west again."

Hakkai smiled knowingly.

It was going to be another lovely day.

---

Goku was really starting to worry.

At first, he didn't think much over the fact that he'd been sick. He just waved it off, his mind only really focusing on Food and Sanzo. But as he sat in the jeep, speeding across the countryside, he found that was all his mind would focus on. Sanzo was reading the newspaper, and Gojyo was asleep. There was nothing to distract him from his thoughts. And the more he thought, the more it scared him.

He replayed the weird dream with the two girls over and over in his head. Didn't they say something about this? That he would get sick. It was supposed to "clean the human toxins from his body," what the hell did that mean? It was just a coincidence, he tried to convince himself, but for some reason his mind would not accept that.

It couldn't be a coincidence. He never got sick. He didn't even get so much as a head cold. But he had been really sick. He couldn't even think straight. All he could remember from the past few days were swirling emotions and images running through his head. He couldn't focus on any of them. He also remembered hearing Sanzo's voice several times, but could never remember what had been said.

So what now? Was he going to lose the ability to sleep? Eat? Was it all true? Goku forced himself to calm. If he began to lose the ability to sleep, then it would be a cause of alarm. But for now, all he could do was brush it off as a coincidence, and get on with his life.

"Goku! Go get us some firewood."

Goku scowled at Gojyo, as the older man settled down for another cigarette. They stopped in a clearing for the night, the next town too far away. Besides that, Hakuryu was exhausted, and refused to go any further that night. Goku scowled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You go get it, it's not like you're doing anything."

"Neither are you, monkey boy, now get moving."

Goku grumbled, but a quick glare from Sanzo told him he wasn't going to be able to just dump the job on someone else. Grumbling, the boy turned on his heel to grab some firewood. He wandered out through the soggy grounds, trying to find any piece of firewood that was still dry. It seemed as though it had rained earlier, and Goku was glad they had missed it. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with a cranky Sanzo and Hakkai.

_"Though... last time wasn't so bad," _he thought, before shaking it away with a blush.

He grabbed several pieces of wood, deciding that this should be enough. Besides, everything else was dripping wet. He wasn't an idiot, and knew it would never light. But as he turned to head back towards camp, a soft sound caught his sensitive ears. Turning curiously, he tried to figure out what it was. Forgetting all about the firewood, Goku found himself wandering in the direction of the sound. It was soft, and soothing. It didn't take him long to figure out someone was playing a flute.

He began to follow the sweet sounds, finding it was lulling him into a soft, dream-like state. He tripped over roots, brushing branches out of his way. The sun had almost completely set, and he was finding it more and more difficult to see. He stopped suddenly when the sound stopped. The sun had completely gone down, shutting the world off into darkness. Goku glanced around, his mind only bent on finding the source of the sound.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a woman's voice.

_"In these Dying hours, _

_The raven sleeps..." _

Her voice was so soft, so soothing. He was almost lulled into sleep because of her singing. It was then her song was abruptly cut short, replaced by screeching in his ears. It was like someone was scarping nails across a chalkboard in his head. Goku clutched his hands to his ears, dropping to his knees. He couldn't help but scream, trying to drone the sound out of his head. No matter how long he screamed, it wouldn't go away. That incessant screeching wouldn't leave his mind.

"Goku!"

He forced his golden eyes open, coming face to face with violet eyes which he had fallen in love with. Sanzo was shaking him, and yelling something, though his could barely hear his voice over the screeching in his ears. "Stop it Sanzo!" he cried, hot tears pouring over his eyes and streaming down his face. "Stop the noise!"

Sanzo pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around the younger man and holding hm tightly. Goku forced himself not to scream, as his fingernails began to dig into his scalp. Goku knew that any second, his skull would split from the pressure. Finally, the screeching stopped. It was so abrupt, Goku for a minute had no idea what had happened. He let Sanzo support him, as he gasped for air. He didn't even let his mind wander on what had happened. He was only glad that it was over, and knew that Sanzo's presence had something to do with it.

"What the hell happened?" he heard Sanzo ask him softly.

Goku did not reply at first, simply letting himself enjoy the comfort Sanzo was offering him. "I.. I don't know," Goku croaked out weakly, tears starting to slow before they stopped all together. "I heard a flute... and a woman. And then... the screeching in my head. It hurt... it hurt so bad, Sanzo," he turned his face to the monk's chest, burying his face in his warmth, baling material up in his hands. He didn't want to let the older man go. Goku felt like if he let him go, even for a second, the screaming would return.

Sanzo said nothing, but merely scooped the youth up in his arms. Goku kept close to the man, not feeling the desire to snap at Sanzo, complaining that he could walk like he normally would have. Actually, he wasn't even sure he could walk on his own. The screeching sucked out most of his energy, leaving him nothing more then a limp doll in Sanzo's arms.

He wasn't sure when they got back to camp. He must've been slipping to and from consciousness as they walked. Though he did remember being placed on the uncomfortable bedroll that he'd been sleeping on for more then a year. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he could feel Sanzo's presence leaving him. All alone. Goku was far too frightened to be left alone. His hand reached out, snatching the sleeve of Sanzo's robe. He cracked his eyes open, finding the monk staring at him expectantly. "D... don't leave me.."

He heard Sanzo snort. "You've got to learn to sleep by yourself for once, you know," despite his words, the monk took a seat on the edge of the bed. Goku relaxed, closing his eyes, but not relinquishing his hold on Sanzo's robe.

"Sanzo?"

"Mm?"

Goku hesitated a bit, feeling darkness calling him. "Thanks..." and then he slipped into sweet slumber.

* * *

**A/N: **Yeah... feel free to say "WTF?" for the ending of this chapter. It'll make more sense later. Though not for another... five or six chapters. Sorry. But thanks for rea ding anyway and I hoped you enjoyed. 


	5. Chapter Five

**A/n: **Just a little warning. There is a Lime in this chapter. It'smore nea r the bottme. Don't like hot, sweaty boyxboy sex? You probably shouldnt read it then. It's not very grahic, I should point out, but it's there. Also, major moody Sanzoness in this chapter. Enjoy.

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Five**

The next two days rolled by without incident. Goku awoke that morning, and carried on as he usually would have. Sanzo did the same. Gojyo and Hakkai shot each other questionable looks all through breakfast, wondering what had happened to their young friend, but none the less said nothing about it. Gojyo asked him occasinally if he was feeling all right, and Goku would merely reply with a grin and say he was.

Finally, Hakkai and Gojyo gave up trying to figure out what went on, and the four fell back into their usual routines.

Two days later, they found themselves in a large city. Gojyo went on about how he was finally going to have a hot shower, while staying as far away from the rest of them as possible. Sanzo muttered something sarcastic in reply, which resulted in an argument.

Unfourtunatly, they heard from a few people that the city held a large temple, which trained hundreds of monks. Sanzo grew even more irratible from the news. Hakkai tried to assure him they they wouldn't run into anyone who would recognise him. Probably. But as the four sat down in a resturant for dinner, one of the waitresses recognized his robes.

"It's Priest Sanzo-sama!" she had squealed, and from then on it just went downhill.

In only a few hours, the four found themselves within the temple walls, surrounded by hundreds of bald monks, who all held their heads in respect. Goku noted that Sanzo looked as though he was about to kill someone. None the less, they listened to the head monk go on and on about how honoured they were to have Sanzo in their temple, and insisted they stay for the night. Sanzo declained, but was forced to agree when they were informed that a traveling caravan was moving through the city, and all the inns were booked solid.

Goku glanced around the plain room in boredom. It was white. White walls. White floors. White sheets. Everything was white and it was slightly blinding. Sanzo was presently out with the monks sharing his "wisdom." Sanzo really didn't want to go, but went anyway, if only to shut those annoying monks up. Gojyo and Hakkai were presently in the same room. Goku asked to join them, but Gojyo declined, saying they needed some "private time."

_"They're probably making out, or something else stupid," _Goku thought sourly, wrinkling his nose.

He turned his attention out the only window in the room. The sun had gone down ages ago, and it was quite late. For some reason, Goku found he wasn't tired, and couldn't sleep. For a moment, he let himself wonder if Sanzo had come back from talking with the monks yet. He doubted it. Those guys looked as though they could talk about their temple all night long. His heart went out to Sanzo. The blonde was probably thinking about murdering everyone within the temple's walls by now. Goku wouldn't be surprised to hear a random gunshot.

Goku thoughts began to trail onto the blonde. He hadn't had any time alone with Sanzo since the night he'd heard the strange lulliby. He really wanted to thank him. Sanzo had stayed by his side twice now. Goku had been really surprised when the monk sat down with him. Normally Sanzo would have no problem giving him the cold shoulder. So... why?

Goku got to his feet, and tiptoed across the room. It was late, and he assuemd mostly everyone was asleep. He cracked the door open, and surveyed the halls for anyone. It was clear. He slipped out into the darkened halls. Gojyo's room was next to his, and Hakkai's was next to that. Goku headed down the halls, stopping at the door which he knew was Sanzo's. He bit his lip nervously. What if Sanzo had gone to bed already? If he woke the man, he didn't doubt that he would recieve a painful blow to his head. Still, Goku wanted to see him.

He gently knocked on the door. It was so light, he would've acctually been surprised if he got an answer. Then again, Sanzo was a light sleeper. He recieved no response, and knocked a little louder. Still nothing. Goku cracked open Sanzo's door, and glanced in. "Sanzo?" he called out softly. The room was dim, save for a few candels that only seemed to cast the room into shadows. He was relieved to find the bed empty, and the room untouched.

Goku slipped inside, closing the door behind him. He carefully crossed the hudge room, taking a seat on the large bed. If Sanzo wasn't there, that meant he was still downstairs dealing with the monks. Goku sighed and fell back on the rather comfy bed. That meant Sanzo was going to be cranky when he went to bed. Goku frowned at the thought. Sanzo was normally hard to deal with, and when he was cranky, it was impossible to tell him anything. Goku began to grow more and more anxious. Maybe he should talk to him tomorrow, after he calmed down.

Goku stood at his decision, and began to head for the door when he paused. The doornob turned, before it opened. He stood absolutely still as Sanzo strode in, muttering things under his breath. The monk didn't even seem to notice his presence, as he pulled the robes over his head, and tossing them off in a corner without a care. It left him in his skin-tight shirt, and jeans. Goku could only stare in shock, his eyes glued to Sanzo, sucking up the image of him greedily.

Sanzo's eyes then rested on him, and he scowled. "What do you want, monkey?" he snapped. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Goku shook his head. "No," he said, before taking a cautious step forwards. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You looked pretty angry when you left."

"That's because everyone in this temple are idiots," he snapped. "If that's all, then you can leave." Sanzo turned to resume to his nightly duties, when a touch caused him to flinch. He glanced over at Goku, who had silently moved behind him, and was trailing his hands delicatly over Sanzo's shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?" he snapped.

"Sanzo," Goku flipped the man around, gazing into his eyes fearlessly. "I wanted to thank you for keeping your promise. Now shut up and let me thank you."

Goku had no idea what had possessed him that night. While his conscious was screaming at him that he couldn't do this. That he was going to ruin everything he'd tried so hard to keep secret, Goku found he didn't care. The instinct he'd surpressed for so long shot up at him, controlling his movements. He didn't even feel like he was controling himself, or even speaking the words coming from his mouth. He was only there to observe, and enjoy the sensations running through his body.

Goku leaned in close, and before the monk could say anything, pressed their lips together. Sanzo stood frozen for a second, and Goku enjoyed the moment he'd been waiting for for so long. When Sanzo moved, Goku expected him to shove him out the front door. Beat him with the fan. Hate him for doing something so spontantious and stupid.

But he didn't.

Sanzo's hands gripped Goku's arms, holding him in place as he returned the intentsity of the kiss. Goku could have cried from sheer happiness. Sanzo-- his Sanzo-- was kissing him back. Sanzo's tongue flicked his lower lip, asking for entrance. Goku opened his mouth, and their tongues danced for dominace. Goku allowed the man to domainate him, knowing that was exactly what he wanted.

Goku found his back slammed up against a nearby wall as Sanzo's hands trailed up under his thin shirt, grasping every one of Goku's muscles. Goku shuddered at the man's cold hands, arching his head back and giving Sanzo acess to his neck. He began biting and kissing, nibbling at sensitive parts of his neck. Sanzo paused, ripping Goku's shirt off over his head and tossing in to the ground without a care. Goku was slightly surprised at how quickly Sanzo was getting into it, though he wasn't complaining.

Sanzo began using his talented mouth, moving down Goku's chest, kissing various spots, nibbling where it seemed appropriate. He trailed all the way down to the boy's shorts, before moving back up to kiss him on the mouth. Goku returned his kiss, and before he realized what he was doing, found himself pulling Sanzo's shirt from him. As soon as the clothing was gone, he trailed his hands over Sanzo's chest, feeling every square inch of him. He moved from his mouth, nibbling on his ear, before moving down to kiss his neck.

Goku wasn't even sure how, but they ended up on Sanzo's bed. By that time Sanzo was kissing him again, biting the young man's lower lip, and gaining a moan from him.

Goku's hands flew to Sanzo's pants, fumbling with the zipper before they finally came off. Sanzo's hands went to Goku's shorts, teasing him at the slowness he was taking them off. Goku groaned in disaproval, before finally Sanzo ripped them off, returning his attention back to dominating the young demon.

The rest of the night was a haze. A lust filled haze in which Goku felt things for the monk he never thought he could. He'd even got a few sensual sounds out of the man that made him grin. Goku had screamed Sanzo's name so loudly, he was surprised the monks of the temple didn't come to find out what was happening in their honoured priest's room.

Sanzo tensed, before falling back into the sheets. Goku collapsed on his chest, trying to catch his breath. He pulled himself up, and rested his forehead on Sanzo's. He merely sat in silence, staring into those violet eyes he'd come to love. After several moment, he chose to speak. "Sanzo..." he breathed delicatly. Sanzo said nothing, simply staring at him paitently, and waiting for him to continue. "..You know I love you," he leaned in, and kissed him softly on the lips. "Like... super in love with you," he whispered, closing his eyes and enjoying the closeness of their bodies.

Sanzo said nothing, but moved, allowing the monkey to slid off to lie next to him.

Goku stared at him, his golden eyes laced with puzzlement. He was waiting for Sanzo to say something. Anything. He'd just given himself to the man, completely. He'd even given him his heart, and told him the secret he'd been keeping from him for months now. Shouldn't he say something? Anything?

Didn't it mean anything to him?

"Sanzo...?' Goku whispererd, his voice a little weaker then before. His fears from the last several months were rapidly becoming reality. "Do... do you love me?"

Sanzo only hesitated breifly, but to Goku it felt like an eternity. "No," Sanzo said, rolling away from him. "I guess I don't."

Goku could practicly hear his heart breaking. He stared at the monk's back. Waiting. Wishing for any indication that this wasn't happening. That it wasn't true. Despite the fact that he knew all along, hearing it so bluntly hurt. It hurt a lot. He sat there for several minutes, only snapping out of his daze when he realized Sanzo had fallen asleep. He did not cry though. He did not let himself break in Sanzo's pressence. He slipped from the bed, no longer finding Sanzo's pressence soothing, but merely painful. He got dressed once again, and slipped from Sanzo's room.

Numbly, Goku headed down the hall, heading into his room. Only when he heard the door click behind him did he realease the pain that had been building inside him from the past several minutes.

His knees buckled out from under him, and he sunk to the ground. Tears were already spilling from his eyes before he even realized it. He pulled his knees to his chest, sobbing into his arms quietly. It wasn't bad enough that Sanzo didn't return his feelings, but he been so stupid! He'd had sex with the man, convinced that Sanzo was doing it out of love. But he knew that it was nothing more then a way to release the tension that had built up inside him from having to deal with the idiotic monks. But Goku had wished-- _hoped_-- that the man had felt something for him, so he completely gave his heart to him, only to have it crushed and returned to him without a care.

He'd never felt so... vulnerable before. Even his sickness had not spurred this kind of weakness. He felt as though at any moment, Sanzo could attack him, not physicaly-- he already did that enough-- but emotionally. Goku was terrified to face the man again, for he feared with one look Sanzo could have him on the floor in tears.

Somehow, he managed to crawl across the floor, pulling himself into bed. Though he could not sleep. He silently prayed to the gods, wishing they would allow him to slip into sweet slumber. To momentarily forget all the pain Sanzo was causing him. They did not return his prayers that night, as Goku found himself unable to sleep.

So he stared up at the ceiling-- his tears dried long ago-- and watched for hours as the darkness slowly disapeared, chased away by the light of the sun. He bit his lip, grasping the blankets tightly in his hands.

How in God's name was he supposed to face Sanzo now?

* * *

**A/N:** Sanzo's such a bitch. (sigh) Poor Goku. Review and things might look up for him!


	6. Chapter Six

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Six**

Breakfast had to be the most uncomfortable thing they'd every experienced.

They had no idea what, but something had happened between the brown-haired monkey, and the stuck-up priest. The two ate breakfast in silence, trying their best not to look at each other. When they spoke, it was at the same time. This caused them both to fall into an uncomfortable silence, forgetting whatever it was they had to say. Hakkai and Gojyo could sense a tight air about the two. They seemed to take it where ever they went, and the half-breed and sinner had not been oblivious to it.

Sanzo had started smoking before breakfast, which Hakkai found odd. The man always waited until after his coffee before starting his morning cigarette. But as he came down the stairs that morning, there was already a lit stick in his mouth, already burning down to the filter. Goku had come down late for breakfast, which Hakkai found extremely unnerving. When he'd walked into the young man's room to wake him up, he found the boy was still wide-awake. To add to that he was never late for breakfast? Gojyo and Hakkai shot each other curious glances, silently agreeing to pry it out of their friends later.

Soon, they were once again in the jeep, barreling across the countryside. The forests around them began to disappear, and soon they were traveling across empty fields. There was nothing to watch, and Gojyo soon found himself extremely bored. His crimson gaze fell to Goku, who seemed to be interested in the never-changing landscape. The man snickered, deciding to poke fun at the boy. But once he got close, the boy snapped at him, and Gojyo shrunk back. Something was really bothering him.

Everyone seemed surprised by Goku's outburst. Hakkai and Gojyo shot him strange looks, Sanzo's gaze directed forwards. Goku then shut his mouth, turning away to try and escape their accusing looks.

Lunch was almost as awkward as breakfast. The four sat in the jeep, enjoying the many dishes they had picked up before. Hakkai cooked some things that needed it, and they all fell into silence. Gojyo and Hakkai glanced between the two, watching Goku poke at his eggplant with his chopsticks, and Sanzo ignore his food all together to have another smoke. "That's it!" Gojyo finally shouted, causing all eyes to flicker over to him. "What the hell happened? I can't stand this silence anymore!"

Goku turned his eyes away, a hurt look momentarily crossing his face. Sanzo just shot him the most murderous glare he could manage, saying nothing. After a few minutes, Gojyo finally settled back into the seat, grumpy that no one had said or done anything really. He didn't expect the two to spill their hearts, but he at least expected Goku to snap back at him, and Sanzo to cock his gun in warning, or even hit him with the stupid fan. Nothing. No responses. All he got out of them was a glare.

The trip continued onwards, and the rest of the day was silent. Gojyo was grumbling to himself, chewing his cigarettes to nothing. Hakkai was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, humming softly to himself in hopes to break the soft silence, even if he was the only one who could hear it.

By later afternoon, they arrived in a small town. They pulled up to an inn, and found there were only two rooms left. Sanzo bought them both, before snatching a key and heading off towards his room. Goku grabbed the other, disappearing down the opposite hallway. Gojyo and Hakkai shot each other a look. "I've got dibs on the monkey," Gojyo said rather quickly, causing Hakkai to frown.

"So you're going to leave me to take care of Sanzo, again?" he asked.

Gojyo grinned. "Yup." His lover shot him a scowl. "Don't worry, I promise to make it up to you." And then he turned, disappearing down the hall after Goku. Hakkai smiled softly, before turning to head after Sanzo.

As Gojyo arrived at the room, he found Goku had already stripped his cape and shoulder armor, falling into the bed and staring up at the ceiling. "Hey monkey," Gojyo said casually, closing the door with his foot and heading deeper into the room.

Goku glanced up at him, giving a sort of grunt before rolling away from him.

Gojyo pulled a chair up to the brunette's bed, studying his back for a moment. "So," he drawled on. "Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Sanzo, or am I going to have to force it out of you?"

Goku sat up suddenly, shooting Gojyo a cold glare. "It's none of your business," he grumbled, before pushing himself up from the bed, running a hand through his tousled hair. "I'm hungry. I'll be in the kitchen."

As Goku headed for the door, Gojyo cut him off. He effectively blocked his path to the door, gaining a growl from the young man. "Move," Goku growled.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!" Gojyo snapped. "C'mon. You know I wouldn't make fun of you if it's this serious," Gojyo's expression softened slightly. "You can tell me these things, Goku."

Instead of earning a snarl of a reply, Goku's anger melted away, showing the full extent of his pain. Gojyo was actually stunned as the man slid back onto his bed. "Uh… well… You know that I…"

"Love Sanzo?" Gojyo offered, leaning back on his door and studying the younger man critically. He pulled out one of his cigarettes and lit it up. "Yeah. I think half the damn country knows by now."

Goku blushed, trying to hide it with a scowl directed towards his hands. "Yeah, well, he and I…" Goku bit his tongue, before spitting it out. "We had sex."

At this, Gojyo began chocking on the cigarette smoke. He pulled it from his mouth, trying to blink tears from his eyes as he regained his breath. "What?!" he chocked out.

"You said you wouldn't laugh," Goku muttered, his gaze still directed down towards the ground.

Gojyo coughed a couple times, clearing his airways. "I'm not laughing. I'm just… a little stunned," he paused, grinning. "You actually got the tight ass into bed?" Goku shot the man a glare, and he held his hands up in defeat. "I'm sorry. Go on."

Goku sighed, turning his gaze back towards the ground. "I did something totally stupid… Afterwards, I asked him if he loved me."

Gojyo visibly winced. "And he said…?"

"He said he didn't," Goku admitted, his voice growing low.

Gojyo frowned, leaning back against the wall. "That explains a lot," he muttered, before grabbing another cigarette (the other already burned down in his hand) and placing it between his lips. He lit it up, remaining in silence as he took a long drag from it. Finally, he let the smoke file out of the corners of his mouth, and fixed his gaze back on Goku, who was anxiously awaiting his answer. "You've got a tough shell to crack there, Goku. The best advice I can give you is to play it absolutely cool. You've got to act like nothing's happening, then Sanzo will back down. If you keep shying away from you he'll think you're weak."

Goku looked at him in absolute shock. "I can't do that!" he chocked out. "I can't…I can't just act like nothing happened! This was a very, very big something here!"

"But can you really afford to let things go on as they have been?"

Goku lowered his eyes, staring at his fidgeting hands with interest. Gojyo sighed, putting out his cigarette and standing. "C'mon monkey, let's go get something to eat."

Goku got to his feet, and the pair slipped from the room.

---

"Sanzo, I really think we should talk about this."

Sanzo's piercing violet eyes turned up to meet the dark haired man across from him. He snuffed out a cigarette, moving for another. "Talk about what?" he said in a low, bored tone.

Hakkai smiled warmly, taking a seat at the table. He wrapped his hands around the warm mug of coffee, bringing it close to him. "Why Goku, of course," his green eyes flashed dangerously, though the smile never left his face. "I hope your willing to tell me what happened."

Sanzo's own eyes narrowed in response. "Nothing happened. Now leave me alone," he took a drag from his cigarette, turning his head up; he blew the smoke up towards the roof.

"Please don't play dumb Sanzo, I know something happened. Now please, tell me and we won't be up all night," Hakkai lifted the cup to his lips, taking a long sip, not at all threatened by Sanzo's murderous glare.

"I'm going out," Sanzo grumbled, as he got to his feet. He was sick of Hakkai's prying.

Hakkai said nothing as he watched the blonde head towards the door. "Are you really going to leave it like this?" Sanzo paused. "Are you going to leave Goku like this? The boy's heartbroken Sanzo, how do you know he won't mess up in battle because he's too distracted by what happened between you two?"

"Like I care," Sanzo grumbled in his usual response.

"I think you do care, Sanzo," Hakkai replied, his gaze even and unchanging. "Would you be able to live with yourself if Goku was killed because he couldn't get over what you said to him? I don't doubt by the way he's acting now that his battle skills have been affected by this as well."

Sanzo grumbled, and begrudgingly took his seat back at the table. Hakkai noted that Sanzo's hands were shaking as he lit another cigarette. "What the hell do you want me to do about it?" Sanzo growled, as he took a deep breath from his cigarette, letting the smoke calm him.

"You can start by telling me what happened."

Sanzo frowned deeply, turning his eyes the other way. "The brat and I had sex," he admitted.

Hakkai stared at him for a moment, sure he'd heard wrong. After letting the words roll around his head for a moment, he finally decided that there was no way to reorganize the words to make it any easier to take. "Okay," Hakkai said, unsure if he could say anything else. "That makes a lot of sense…." He trailed off, thinking. "But unless you want things to continue on as they have, I think you should talk to Goku about what happened."

"Talk to him?" Sanzo exclaimed, a little louder then he meant. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Open your mouth and speak, Sanzo, as far as I'm concerned you're quite good at it," Hakkai replied with a knowing smile.

Sanzo rolled his eyes, one again getting to his feet and heading towards the door. "Where are you heading?" Hakkai asked.

"I'm going out for a smoke," he replied, before stepping out into the hall and closing the door behind him.

Hakkai frowned. But… they ordered a smoking room.

---

Somehow, Goku's interest began to slip from the food he and Gojyo were picking out when he caught a flash of gold. He turned to try and get a better look at it, but an instant later it was gone. As he turned back to Gojyo, he found the older man loading up on beer. "Hey, Gojyo," the half-breed looked up. "I'm gonna be right back, okay?"

"Alright," Gojyo said, before shoving a pack of cigarettes into his pocket. "But come back soon. I'll need your help to carry this all upstairs."

Goku nodded in understanding, and turned to head from the kitchen. He had no idea where he was heading. He felt like he was walking in a daze-like state, following his feet wherever they decided to lead him. He headed outside the inn, and leaned against a nearby wall, his gaze directed down at his feet. He listened as the man next to him drew in a long drag from his cigarette, letting it out slowly. "What do you want Goku?" came the sharp, harsh voice. Goku bit back a wince.

"Just... standing here," Goku admitted with a shrug. Unsure, he turned his golden eyes up to meet violet. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat. He had to do what Gojyo told him to. Act cool. Cool. He could do that. Still, with Sanzo's accusing glare staring him down, Goku felt himself shrinking. "Am I not allowed to stand here?" he shot back with a surprisingly stable voice.

"Do what you want," Sanzo said, before taking in another breath from his cigarette, letting the smoke roll out of his mouth. After a moment, he crushed what was left of his cigarette under his sandal, but he did not move to go back inside.

Goku stood staring for a moment, the intimidation slipping from Sanzo's gaze. He felt just as he did that night when he and Sanzo had sex. Like he had no control over his actions. Nothing more then an idle spectator. Unlike that night though, his actions were not fueled by lust, merely love. He suddenly found himself not caring if Sanzo didn't love him. He just wanted to be next to him. To kiss him. To sleep cuddled in his arms.

He didn't care anymore if it was fake.

Goku leaned up, kissing Sanzo lightly on the lips. He pulled away, finding a slightly stunned look across the monk's face. Goku suppressed a smirk. It was such a rare thing to see. "Goku?"

"I know you don't love me," Goku whispered, snaking his arms around Sanzo's neck, eloping himself in his scent. "I know you probably never will. But I don't care. Let it be fake." His eyes turned down, studying Sanzo's collarbone beneath his skin-tight shirt. "Let me pretend a little longer." Goku then leaned up, trapping Sanzo's lips in a kiss.

Sanzo began kissing him back, making Goku's heart leap for joy. Sanzo's hands then snacked behind his own neck, unclasping Goku's hands from their locked position and pulling away. Goku stared at him, confusion marring his handsome features. Sanzo shook his head, stepping back from the boy. "I can't do this, Goku," he whispered, before turning and heading back inside.

---

"I know you don't love me," Goku whispered, snaking his arms around Sanzo's neck. Sanzo blinked, and could feel his heart racing as the youth pulled himself even closer. "I know you probably never will. But I don't care, let it be fake." Goku turned his eyes down to study his shirt, and Sanzo could feel the longing radiating off the young man. He could talk all he wanted. Sanzo knew it would break his heart if he let it be fake. "Let me pretend a little longer," and then he stood up, and kissed Sanzo.

Sanzo could no longer suppress his instincts and began kissing him back. He could feel Goku smiled as he tried to deepen the kiss. Sanzo knew he couldn't let it get any further. He reached behind him, unclasping Goku's hands from his neck. He then stepped away all together, leaving a mark of hurt and confusion across Goku's face. It tore Sanzo up to look at it. But he didn't look away. He couldn't show weakness.

Every instinct in his body was telling him to leap onto the poor boy, ravishing him until his body was content. But he forced them back. He wouldn't be taken over by lust. Not tonight. He knew that if he began a fake relationship with Goku, every day he would see the hurt in his eyes. Behind those golden eyes there would always be pain, knowing that what they had wasn't real. That it was all fiction. Not even Goku could fool himself for that long. Sanzo would rather quit smoking then have to face the pain in his eyes.

"I can't do this, Goku," he whispered, shaking his head. He turned on his heel, leaving a stunned Goku behind as he made his way back into the inn. As he headed towards the stairs, Gojyo found him. He cursed Gojyo. Cursed the heavens for putting him in this situation. Cursed himself for not being strong enough. But most of all, he cursed that damn monkey for being so damn irresistible.

"Hey, Sanzo, have you seen Goku?" Gojyo asked.

"No. Leave me the hell alone before I kill you," Sanzo snapped, heading up the stairs before Gojyo could ask what the hell was wrong with him.

* * *

**A/N: **This was really fun to write. I liked the ending. I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind reviews. I'm glad people like this. I hope to see it carry on for many more amazing chapters. 


	7. Chapter Seven

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Seven**

Sanzo could feel the irritation eating inside him as Goku and Gojyo made their way down for breakfast. The monkey was chattering on about food, while the kappa tried to keep to his feet, bumbling about like he normally did on mornings. Once they headed over to their table, Sanzo expected Goku to avert his gaze. To shy away from him like he'd been doing as of late. But the monkey turned a smile on his face. As golden eyes caught violet, that smile slowly faded. Sanzo could plainly see the hurt as it dashed across his face. But he must've blinked, because a moment later it was gone.

"Good morning, Sanzo," Goku said politely, before turning his attention back to Gojyo, picking up whatever conversation they had been previously having. Sanzo took a sharp drag from his cigarette, more annoyed that their short exchange unnerved him more then it did Goku.

"Is something wrong, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked, concern touching his voice as he began pouring Sanzo's morning coffee. "You seem half-asleep."

"That's because I am half-asleep!" Gojyo snapped, before grabbing Goku and waving him in front of Hakkai's face. "_This _little thing kept me up all night with his tossing and turning and grumbling."

"It's not my fault I couldn't sleep!" Goku shot back, wrestling out of Gojyo's hold to grab himself some more mango slices.

"Yes it is-- give me some of that," Gojyo turned his attention to the breakfast table, and things resumed as they normally did.

Sanzo could already feel a headache setting in. Reacting towards his pack, he paused, when an earth-shattering scream ripped through the small town. He grunted in annoyance as he placed the cigarette between his lips. He didn't even have to look up. He knew what the cause of those screams was.

The door to the inn shattered in a thousand splinters. Then demons began filing in, causing many of the people in the inn to run screaming. Sanzo grit his teeth over the cigarette. Great. He hadn't even gotten his morning coffee yet and assassins were creeping out from every turn. "Genjyo Sanzo!" one of them yelled. "Hand over the Maten scripture and we will spare your life!"

Sanzo's response was a quick shot to his head. "Eat me," he replied as the demon hit the floor.

Goku frowned, clearly annoyed. "You ruined a perfectly good breakfast," he growled, snapping a pocky stick in his hand. "Someone's got hell to pay."

Gojyo snickered, already calling his shakujou. "What do you say then, Goku? Whoever kills the most demons gets the last meat bun."

"You're on," Goku replied, before lunging into the hoard, slamming his fist into the closest face. Gojyo was after him in a heartbeat.

Hakkai sighed. "They're going to make a mess," he tsked, before turning to Sanzo. "Are you coming, Sanzo?"

"Yeah," Sanzo replied, grinding his cigarette into the table. "Just give me a minute."

It was going fairly easy for a while. Goku and Gojyo continually shouted numbers of how many they took down, while Hakkai hung back, placing a barrier around the monk when the need to reload had arose. It was fairly easy at first, but there seemed to be no end to the demons. It was only partway into the fight that Sanzo fully understood their plan. He dodged an oncoming sword, still while trying to reload. Glancing around, he noted that he'd been separated from Hakkai in the masses. Goku and Gojyo were also no where in sight. Damnit. This was getting irritating fast.

He could still hear Goku and Gojyo's incessant counting, which was now somewhere in the hundreds. It appeared they still had no idea what was going on.

He slammed the butt of his gun into a throat, before placing the last bullet in. He cocked the gun, shooting three off. There simply was no end to them. His back connected with another, and he tensed, turning to shoot whatever had gotten too close to him. It was then his eyes caught gold, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Goku," he growled, turning and firing the last two shots in his barrel. "Don't sneak up with me like that."

Goku sneered, slamming his Niyou-bo into another two demons. "Sorry, Sanzo, I thought your senses were strong enough to realize it was me."

Sanzo merely snorted. He reloaded his gun quickly, before firing off two more shots. "I need you to cover me for a few minutes," Sanzo explained, shooting another demon who dared to get too close to him. "Can you do that?"

Goku glanced over his shoulder at him, before nodding in understanding. "Yeah, but make it quick. The second they realize you dropped your guard they'll attack."

Sanzo nodded in understanding, placing his gun back into the folds of his robe and closing his eyes. Immediately, his consciousness was smothered by blackness. Ever so slowly, the sounds faded from his mind. He could no longer smell the scent of blood and bodies. The feeling of the soft breeze on his face disappeared. He was slowly detaching himself from the world so he could tap into the full power of the Maten scripture. It was the only thing he reasoned that would take care of all the demons now swarming down atop them.

He began to chant lowly, the mantra burning into his soul with ever word spoken. He was sliding deeper and deeper into the darkness, finding light on the other side. So close... almost there...

His concentration was broken abruptly from a cry. Someone screamed his name before he was shoved to the side, hitting the ground at an awkward angle and grunting at a broken chair leg that dug into his side. "Damn monkey!" he insisted, tearing open his violet eyes and looking up at the young man. "Do you want to kill us...?"

Somehow, his words died in his lips as he caught sight of the monkey-boy. A large blade punctured through his chest, the tip of the blade poking out his back. Sanzo watched in horror as the boy's golden eyes widened, his body raked with pain. Blood began pouring out of the corners of his mouth, hitting his shirt and mingling with the blood pouring from his wound. His head lolled forwards, hands gripping the blade. He wanted it out. Wanted to rip the blade from him in hopes that the pain would stop. Sanzo knew him well enough.

The demon on the other end of the sword grinned, pleased that he had caught someone, even if it wasn't his initial target. With a sharp jolt, he tore the sword from the man's chest. Goku let out a strangled cry, before his knees buckled under him, and he hit the ground with a painful, soundless thud. Sanzo could hear his heart thundering, panic coursing through his veins like a sickness. This wasn't happening. Any moment the monkey was going to get up, and shake off his injury with a grin that seemed to crack his face. Any minute now. Sanzo found himself gaping, waiting and praying he would get up.

Goku lay motionless.

As the realization began to sink in, he allowed anger to replace guilt and sadness. An overwhelming anger that completely devoured his soul. He rolled away from an oncoming attack, pulling his gun out and firing. His vision was obscured by absolute hatred. He didn't even know who he was hitting. He just fired, and fired, pleased when he heard a cry of pain and a thud as a body hit the floor. He didn't even know if he was reloading, but somehow he didn't run out of bullets, so he figured he was.

Hands suddenly gripped his shoulder, fingers burning into his flesh. "Sanzo!" he fired his gun again, not caring who was in front of him. The grip did not loosen, and the body did not fall. He must've missed. A sound punch slammed across his face, causing his head to snap to the side. He could taste the metallic blood that filled his mouth, and immediately spit it out, disgusted.

His senses began to come back to him, and he blinked away his anger, not surprised to find his own breathing ragged and uneven. His violet eyes registered on the man in front of him, finding crimson eyes glaring in stubbornness. Gojyo sighed in relief, releasing his shoulders.

Sanzo didn't even bother to ask what happened. He had already replayed the events that took place minutes ago-- minutes that felt like hours. "Goku..." he breathed, flipping around to scout out for the brunette. He didn't even bother to notice that most of the demons had run off, the rest of them had all died. Apparently they didn't want to cross an angry Sanzo.

He dropped to Goku's side, not surprised to find Hakkai already working on his wounds. Goku was awake, his golden eyes wide, and brimming with pain. His hands dug into the ground beneath him, willing himself not to fidget. Despite the painful procedure of knitting his flesh back together, Goku was doing a very good job of not crying out. Sanzo all but ignored him, knowing anything he said would be lost in a daze of pain. "Is he going to be okay?" he demanded of Hakkai, his gaze quizzical and demanding.

Hakkai sighed; sweat pouring down his brow from concentrating on his task. "Probably," he admitted, causing a ball of fear to secure itself in Sanzo's stomach. "The sword hit a lung," he paused as Goku let out a strangled cry, no longer able to hold it back. "I know Goku's rechargeable, but this hit damaged quite a lot. At worst he'll be out of commission for a few days." He bit his lip, continuing his work with great care. "Gojyo!" he cried, catching the red-head's attention. "I need you to head to the pharmacist and find some sort of painkiller. I'm afraid we're all out, and Goku's going to be in a lot of pain for the next few days."

Gojyo nodded in understanding. "Got it," he exclaimed, before tearing from the inn as fast as his legs would carry him.

It was another minute before Hakkai finally finished. He leaned back on his heels, clearly exhausted. "That... should hold. I can't do much more for him... it'll have to heal naturally."

Sanzo's eyes were locked on Goku as the boy's golden eyes rolled back in his head. His grip on the ground loosened, but his breathing came in short and labored, proving he was still in a lot of pain. Still the young man would not pass out, which Sanzo found odd. Golden eyes slowly moved towards him, and a small, knowing smile passed across the monkey's lips, as if he knew he was going to be in a lot of trouble for his actions. Then his eyes rolled back, and Sanzo figured he'd lulled himself into an unconscious state.

The rest of the day passed in a blur.

---

Goku was drugged into unconsciousness by Hakkai, who was clearly angry that the boy would simply not stay asleep. Even if he was awake, he was dead to the world, confusing the young healer to no end. He was placed back in the room, allowing him to sleep as long as his body would let him. Sanzo was worried as hell. Hakkai forbid the man from staying in the same room with the young brunette, as he was afraid Sanzo's presence would wake him up, and he needed his sleep.

Sanzo tried very hard not to pull his gun on Hakkai, but managed to suppress the urge, as Hakkai was the only one who could cook amongst them.

Almost an entire day rolled by, and Sanzo was starting to get very anxious. Even his cigarettes did little to calm him anymore. He proceeded to glare at Hakkai whenever the man went in to check on Goku, or give him more painkillers. His glares did nothing to affect the man, of course, as Hakkai merely smiled and brushed them aside.

It was later when Hakkai was out shopping with Gojyo that the door to Goku's room opened. Sanzo's eyes snapped up as the man proceeded to limp out, an arm crossed over his chest awkwardly, meanwhile mumbling soft 'ows' as he walked. Sanzo could feel a spark of anger ignite within him, and he bounded to his feet, grasping the younger man by the collar of his shirt and lifting him up to meet his eyes. He ignored the startled yelp Goku emitted. "What the hell are you doing?" Sanzo growled, far rougher then he meant.

"I was-- ow, going to get something to eat. I'm hungry," Goku couldn't help but snicker, all too used to Sanzo's overprotective nature. "Don't tell me you treat all your injured this way."

Sanzo let another growl escape his throat, as he dropped the younger man. "Back to bed," he said with a slight shove. "I'll get you something."

Goku mumbled something about being bedridden, but none the less stumbled back into the room. Sanzo waited until the boy was back in bed, before turning and heading towards the kitchen. He ordered simple snacks that the cooks could make quickly. The young chef smiled at him, busying herself with the food he asked for. After she finished, she handed him the large plate with a smile. "Please do give my best to Goku-kun. I hope he gets better."

Somehow it didn't surprise him that Goku had gotten to know the chef. "I will," he mumbled, before taking the plate back up towards Goku's room.

He found the young monkey sitting up in bed, attempting to stretch without killing himself. "Have you ever heard of resting?" Sanzo snapped, shoving the plate into his hands, before taking a seat next to him. "Hakkai says you're going to need a lot of it."

Goku wrinkled his nose, before taking a bite out of a roll. "I can't just lie in bed all day and night. It's boring."

Goku couldn't help but stare at the anger radiating off of his sun. He swallowed what was in his mouth, pushing the plate aside momentarily. "S... Sanzo?"

"What the hell did you do that for?" Sanzo snapped before he could stop himself. "Look... look at you! You got yourself hurt, and for what? For me." His fists clenched at his sides. "You will never do that again, you hear me?!"

Instead of backing down, Goku stood, a frown crossing his features. "No! You know what, I won't! If you're in danger again, I will help you! I'm not going to stand back and watch you get killed!"

"Do you want me to suffer?!" Sanzo snapped. "I will not be the cause the death of someone else who I care for!"

Goku's retort was cut short. Instead, all he could do was stare at Sanzo with wide, golden eyes. "S...Sanzo?"

"I don't care what I said before," Sanzo mumbled, turning to look away. "If you died... I don't know what I'd do. I need you alive. Here. _With me. _So promise me you won't do anything stupid like that again."

"I promise Sanzo," Goku whispered, afraid to speak any louder. "I love you, Sanzo."

"I know you do," and then Sanzo leaned forwards, capturing Goku's lips in a kiss. Goku's arms snaked around Sanzo's neck, and Sanzo's hands found their place on Goku's hips. As the kiss began to intensify, Sanzo broke away, reminding himself that Goku was injured. "You should get some more sleep."

"Yeah," Sanzo placed one last kiss on his forehead, as the monkey retired to bed. Sanzo could hear Hakkai and Gojyo arriving back from their shopping trip. Casting one last glance over at Goku, he stepped out to try and act like nothing had happened, and to try and keep the fire from rushing through his veins.

* * *

**A/N: **Again with the Goku-abuse. –sigh- of well. I just can't keep myself from abusing small, adorable child-like characters. I have to remember to spread the abuse around. Hm. Maybe I should lay a bit on Hakkai –snicker- Anyway, review and such. Love yah all! 


	8. Chapter Eight

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Eight**

The next few days passed by easily. Goku recovered, but was constantly sneaking from his room, hoping for some sort of excitement. He was always caught, and forced back into the boring room. He couldn't even sleep though, which made the monkey uneasy. He spent a lot of time pondering the dream he'd had a few weeks ago, wondering if there was any connection between the two. Finally, he decided that it was merely a coincidence, and that he was simply hit with a bit on insomnia. He was sure he'd be sleeping eighteen hours again in no time.

Goku trotted down the stairs to breakfast that morning, feeling great about himself. Sanzo was finally warming up to him. Returning his feelings. It wasn't much, but it was a start. "Good morning!" he cheered, taking a seat next to Sanzo.

"Good morning Goku, how are you feeling?" Hakkai asked.

"Great. I could actually go for a fight, I'm feeling kind of sore," he snickered at the sour looks Gojyo shot him.

"Good," Sanzo said, placing a cigarette between his lips. "Then we can set out tomorrow. No point in wasting anymore time."

"I hear yah!" Goku cheered, filling his plate with almost everything on the table, much to the displeasure of Gojyo. He leaned back, and took a bite out of a tasty meat bun.

Maybe he should've taken the dreams more seriously. But as the delicious meat and bread turned to ash in his mouth, Goku knew that this was no longer a coincidence. He bolted from his chair, spitting the food into a napkin, trying to scrape the awful taste of ash from his mouth. "The hell?" he exclaimed suddenly.

"What's wrong monkey?" Gojyo asked, cocking a brow in confusion.

Panic started to settle into the pit of his stomach. Goku reached down, grabbing an egg roll and shoving it into his mouth. Just as the roll touched his tongue, it once again turned to ash, causing him to spit it out again in obvious disgust. "Goku," Hakkai said, a touch of concern in his tone. "What's wrong?"

" 'Then third'," Goku mumbled softly. " 'It is your will to eat we will steal'." In Horror, he began relaying the dream he'd had a couple weeks ago. He described it in every detail, then pointed out his sickness, and the fact that he hadn't slept at all, the only bit of sleep he was able to obtain was because he had lost too much blood to stay conscious. And even then he woke up constantly. Finally, he explained how the food moments ago simply turned to ash in his mouth. Crumpling to a chair in defeat, he looked on his friends for help.

It was silent for a long time as the other three digested the information. Goku stared at them, eyes unblinking in the hopes that they could come up with something to solve the problem. "Well," Gojyo said, breaking the tension that had somehow settled around the group. "I suggest we find this Nuriko chick and teach her a lesson for picking on our monkey."

"And how do we do that?" Sanzo cut in bitterly. "I admit I'd like to put a bullet through her head as much as you, but how are we supposed to find her?"

"Sanzo has a point," Hakkai chimed in, causing a fearful look to cross Goku's face. "I am sorry Goku, but I'm afraid the best choice is to wait for her to come to us. Then we can take her down."

"So what? I have to sit here and lose the ability to feel anything? To speak before we do anything?" Gojyo muttered something about looking forwards to not having to hear the monkey speak, but was silenced by a glare from Hakkai. Goku's eyes trailed around the table, taking in each face and waiting for someone to proclaim they had a way to get rid of Nuriko so he could eat his meat buns.

Lastly, his eyes settled on Sanzo. Pleading. Praying that he would say something. Anything. The monk held his gaze for what seemed like hours. But when he blinked and turned back down to look at the table, Goku felt an overwhelming betrayed build inside him. "I'll be in my room," was all Goku said before turning and disappearing up the stairs.

---

"Don't look at me like that."

Goku half-glared at the monk as he headed into the room, pulling his robes from his shoulders and allowing them to sit on his hips. It was late. Goku had spent nearly the whole day in his room, dwelling on his newfound curse. Sanzo had been dragged out shopping by Hakkai, and hadn't been back to see his monkey all day. Meanwhile Goku had spent the entire day fuming, and was now determined to take it out silently on his lover.

He snorted silently. Sanzo wasn't his lover. He was the man who kissed and touched and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Love was no part of it. Goku was sure of it. If love had any factor in their physical relationship, then Sanzo would have said so, already, wouldn't he?

Still, even though it meant nothing, Goku wouldn't trade it for the world.

"Why not?" he snapped back, feeling a little more then betrayed. "You deserve it."

Sanzo sighed, pulling off his gloves and resting his sutra under his pillow-- a safekeeping habit he'd picked up. He continued to get ready for bed, all the while Goku's unwavering gaze watching him every second. Finally, as he finished, he turned his violet eyes up to him. "What do you want me to do then, Goku?" he asked, voice even. "Run off and slay this beast whose attacking you when I don't even know where to look? I hate to break it to you, but the world doesn't work that way. You're going to have to be patient."

Goku grumbled, hating the fact that his sun was probably right. There was no way to track down Nuriko until she stuck first. Still, he hated the idea of sitting around, unable to eat, sleep, soon not being able to feel or even speak. All forms of comfort were lost to him. He was in his own isolated hell.

Sanzo let a soft sigh pass though his lips as he moved over on the bed. He couldn't stop his stomach from twisting with guilt. Goku looked so small, so... sad. "Come here, you idiot," Sanzo muttered. Goku blinked in confusion, before silently rising to his feet and crossing the room. He took a seat next to the blonde, wrapping his arms around his middle and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Sanzo didn't seem to protest, as he slid his arms around the brunette.

Goku could only whimper softly, trying not to show his weakness to the blonde. He'd tried so hard to keep it in. Sanzo would call him a baby for crying so easily. Still... he couldn't help but want to immerse himself in all the comfort Sanzo could offer. "I'm scared Sanzo..." he whimpered softly, managing to keep back choked sobs. "What am I supposed to do? I..." He let his sentence trail off. The thought that soon not even Sanzo's warmth would be there to comfort him scared him half to death. "I'm really scared..." Sanzo had no idea what to do. He felt guilty, as though somehow Goku's curse had been his fault. Despite his words, he wished he could run off and shoot whoever was messing with his monkey. But he couldn't. He knew that was true.

Sanzo said nothing as the pair began rocking monotonously back and forth. He said nothing as the brunette began silently weeping, tears collecting in his neck. He said nothing as the lights in the hall went out, and the entire inn was suddenly enveloped by sleep.

He wished that he said something, but somehow pride had once again got in his way.

---

He wasn't asleep. He was merely lying eloped in Sanzo's arms and enjoying the constant rise and fall of his chest, and his ever-faithful heartbeat. Somehow, he'd fallen into a trance. No longer paying attention to his surroundings, but listening only to Sanzo's heartbeat as he slept. The entire world, it seemed, had fallen asleep, laving Goku alone to marvel at the night's darkness.

He wasn't really paying attention, so the sudden tune that caught his ears had no effect on him. He must've been imagining things. There was no way someone was up this late playing a... flute? As Goku cocked his head to listen better, he indeed could hear the sounds of a far-off flute playing a soft melody. _"It's almost like a lullaby,"_ Goku thought, snuggling closer to the blonde and listening idly to the notes. He wished its soft melody could hum him into sleep.

Then he heard the song. The soft singing that carried through the inn like a plague.

_"In these dying hours,_

_The raven sleeps..."_

As the words entered his ears, he sat straight up. His eyes were wide and wild, and he found his heart thundering in his chest. What was going on? He had to be hearing things, wasn't he? There was no way that song... it couldn't be the same one from the forest. The screeching. Goku closed his eyes at the memory. What was going to happen now? His hand gripped Sanzo's in anticipation, hoping the man's presence could comfort him.

_"...Thunder beckons,_

_and the Earth lay still..." _

No screeching yet. Goku breathed a sigh of relief. That was a good thing. Or was it? What was with this lullaby? It could not be good. He turned to Sanzo, hoping to wake the man and find out what was going on. Was it Nuriko?

_"...My lovely sweet,_

_Forever mine..." _

Goku stopped abruptly as his vision blurred. He had to blink to try and clear it, but it did little. He was overcome by sudden exhaustion. The lullaby must've been putting him to sleep, he realized instantly. He tried to shake it off. If Nuriko was behind the lullaby, then it would definitely be a bad thing. He tried to shake the exhaustion from his mind, but he was suddenly finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open.

_"...Come to me, my precious,_

_and learn what it means to be my God." _

As the last words entered his ears, Goku slumped forwards, instantly asleep.

---

Where was he going? In his sleep, Goku could barely see lights and wooden walls around him. His vision was blurry, and his head throbbed, and he was having a very difficult time focusing on where he was going. Where was he going? He was just walking. Walking down darkened hallways, lit occasionally by a candle or two.

He had no idea where he was or where he was going. All he could remember was that wonderful lullaby in the back of his mind. It was still ringing there, reciting itself over and over like a mantra. Goku found himself smiling softly at the memory of it. It was such a nice song, he decided, as he continued on through the darkness, wherever it was he was heading to.

The song cleared away all his guilt, all his sadness, and all the negative emotions that had been clouding his mind lately. It was a lovely thing indeed. He simply felt content, and thanked whoever sang that lullaby for it.

_"Goku!!"_

From behind him, he heard someone scream his name, followed by the quickening of footsteps on the hardwood. Goku? Was that his name? Who was this person calling him? The voice sounded so distant, but so very familiar. The more he tried to unravel the mysteries falling into his lap the more confused and disoriented he became.

_"Goku!!"_

There it was again, someone screaming his name endlessly. The voice sounded so familiar, so desperate, but Goku couldn't place his finger on it. As he tried to figure out what was going on, he continued walking. What was going on? Great, another question added to the pile.

_"Goku! Please don't jump!!"_

What? He was going to jump? And off of what? This person clearly didn't know what they were talking about.

But as he took another step forwards, his foot met air and he felt himself falling...

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! You make me smile in my time of need and writer's block. I hope this cliffhanger is enough to make your stomachs twist, and your fingers pound while writing me more wonderful reviews! Anyway, tell me your thoughts, concerns, comments, and death threats. I love it all.


	9. Chapter Nine

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Nine**

Sanzo wasn't sure what had awoken him that night. All he knew was that the warm little monkey next to him was missing, and there was an insistent pounding on the back of his mind. He considered rolling over and going back to sleep, hoping his headache would be gone by the time he woke up, but something kept him awake. He lay still for several moments, before finally rolling over, sitting up and glancing around bleary-eyed in the blackened room. He still had several hours before he had to get up.

As he sat debating on what he wished to do now that he was awake, he finally decided on a glass of water then back to bed for his last few precious hours. He didn't even bother considering why Goku was missing from his side. The monkey probably had to use the washroom, or got bored. Whatever. He headed out into the hall, yawning and stretching sore muscles. That was when his sensitive ears caught soft footsteps. Immediately his eyes sharpened. What was that? An enemy? He didn't sense a demonic presence. Still, against his best interest he decided to follow whoever seemed to be up and walking around.

As he headed down the curvy hallway, his eyes caught Goku. He blinked, before the form of the young man walking down the hallways settled into his mind. "Goku?" he whispered audibly. He didn't want to wake anyone. As much as he liked pissing people off he didn't want to have to deal with people yelling at him at four in the morning. "Where are you going?" The washrooms were in the other direction.

Goku paused in his footsteps, glancing over his shoulder, as if looking for the owner of the voice. He looked amazingly solemn. He looked around, before continuing on his way. That was weird, Sanzo decided. He was standing right out in the open. Hadn't Goku seen him? Suddenly growing angry with his brown-haired charge, Sanzo stalked after him. "Goku!" he hissed, a little louder then before. "Goku, come back here! You're going to wake everyone up!"

Still, the monkey did not respond, or stop. That was weird. Since when was Goku so defiant? As Sanzo quickened his footsteps, so did Goku. Sanzo finally stopped, thinking he should simply ditch the brat and go back to bed that looked so oddly tempting now. But as the boy paused, heading up the stairs that led to the roof, he decided he was going to beat that stupid monkey and drag him back to the room himself.

He headed silently up the stairs, arriving at the roof rather quickly. He pushed open the door open, and was met with a sudden burst of night air. He headed out, letting the door shut behind him. The roof was flat, meant for an extra place to have gardens or store extra things. The innkeeper seemed to hang his laundry out on the roof in long clotheslines, which at the moment were all bare. A few potted plants sat staggeringly around, but he didn't bother to inspect them. His focus was on the boy who was sill silently walking around the roof.

"Goku!" he yelled suddenly, no longer caring who he woke up. He growled, hugging his arms to himself as a cold breeze swept over him. "What the hell are you doing?"

The boy stepped up on the edge of the roof, still not listening to him.

Panic start to set in as Goku's gaze directed down. Down the four floors to the hard ground below. He knew that Goku was rechargeable. Knew that the boy could live through a measly little jump off the roof of a four floor building.

But he was scared.

He took several steps forwards, knowing now that something was wrong with the boy. Suicide was not something he thought about. Goku loved life. So why now...? Had it been something he'd said? "Goku!" he yelled, still a few feet away from the brunette and unable to move. He was frozen with fear. Goku turned to look at him, golden eyes settling on him but not seeing him. It was as though he was looking through him. There was no recognition there. Not the familiar love that lit up his eyes. Nothing. His eyes were blank. "Goku, please don't jump!" Sanzo yelled, lunging forwards. He had to force his body to move. Goku wasn't himself.

And Sanzo would be damned if he allowed Goku to die in his presence. That was something he would not allow.

But Goku was faster then him. With a single step, Goku was plunging towards the ground.

And Sanzo couldn't reach him in time.

At first, when he saw Goku take that step over the edge, he thought it was over. Thought he'd failed. But his body was moving far faster then his mind. He lunged over the edge. Falling before he knew what was happening. Even if Goku wouldn't really die from this height, he couldn't just watch him fall. But Sanzo was never one to kill himself so easily. He snatched Goku's hand just in time. The two hung awkwardly over the edge of the inn, the only thing keeping them on the roof was Sanzo's left arm and leg. The rest of them hung dangling.

Sanzo found himself out of breath. He glanced up to make sure he had a secure hold, before looking down towards Goku. The boy was blinking away his dazed look, and soon the Goku he knew and loved was back. "S-Sanzo?" he exclaimed suddenly, looking down to the ground that lay beneath them. "Sanzo!? What's going on?!" he demanded, his voice shocked a fearful. He immediately tried to wiggle, hoping to get some sort of better grip. That movement was making him all the more harder to hold onto.

"Shut up or I'll drop you!" Sanzo snapped loudly, enough to effectively shut the boy up. "If we-- or rather, I-- make it out of this I'd love to fill you in. For now, we need to get out of here." He tried pulling himself up over the edge of the roof, but he simply didn't have a strong enough hold. And to add, his limbs were starting to burn from the exertion.

"What the hell were you two doing?!" snapped a familiar voice. Looking up-- Sanzo would never admit it-- but he was never more happy to see a pair of crimson eyes scrutinizing them as they hung dangling.

"Sorry," Sanzo snapped, sarcasm lacing his tone. "Did we disturb your sex? Go back to bed, sweetheart. We can handle it here."

Gojyo couldn't help but chuckle as Hakkai bent down next to him, a false frown lacing his features. "We were sleeping thank you very much," Hakkai said in a disapproving tone of voice. "I think we should leave you here, you might learn a lesson."

Gojyo snickered.

"Leave me here and I'll drop Goku," Sanzo threatened, limbs starting to really hurt. He was getting really pissed off. He wished they would pull him up so he could shoot them. Goku screamed his protests as Sanzo and Gojyo were locked in a glaring contest. Finally, Gojyo and Hakkai helped the pair up. Only until after the pair were safely on the rooftop did anyone decide to speak again.

"What happened?" Hakkai asked, green eyes moving from Sanzo to Goku.

"That's what I'd like to know," Sanzo said coldly, turning to look at Goku, who sat next to him. Goku bit his lip, hanging his head like a puppy that had done some misdeed.

After several moments of silence, Hakkai spoke again. With a sigh, he said, "Well, we should go back inside and out of this cold, at least." When no one voiced complaints, the foursome moved back inside.

---

"Tell us everything you can remember," Hakkai said calmly, sitting directly across from Goku in a wooden chair. The four had settled into Hakkai and Gojyo's room, Goku was placed on the bed, while Gojyo, Hakkai and Sanzo all stood around, eyes focused intently on the brunette as he fidgeted in his hands, trying to recall what had exactly happened.

Sanzo leaned on the wall not far from his charge, watching with rather over-protective eyes. Violet moved to study Hakkai, and then settled back on Goku as the boy tried to come up with an answer. "Well, I--" he paused, trying to think. "I remember, I was with Sanzo," quizzical gazes were shot his way, while the blonde ignored them, "and then, there was music."

"Music?" Hakkai perked up, tone inquiring. "What kind of music?"

Goku's brows furrowed in thought. "It was weird. Some odd flute playing, like a lullaby. And there was singing," he added. "Some odd, haunting singing."

"Do you remember what the lyrics were?" Hakkai asked, leaning forwards in anticipation.

A ringing silence followed, as Goku sat, and tried to remember exactly what had been said. Even Sanzo seemed to lean forwards in anticipation. "No," Goku said suddenly. "I don't remember."

Hakkai seemed to breathe a sigh, leaning back in his chair. "Well then it's obvious, isn't it?" he asked, question mostly directed towards the monk.

Sanzo nodded. "Clearly," he agreed.

Gojyo had no idea what they were talking about, but none the less nodded.

"What?" Goku exclaimed, eyes snapping to each figure in the room. "What's going on?"

Hakkai sighed, looking over at Goku with a very patient expression. He was all too used to Goku's oblivious nature. "Someone placed a spell on you, Goku, someone is targeting you."

"You don't think it's Nuriko?" Gojyo added.

Hakkai paused a moment, pondering the idea. "I think that's exactly who it is."

Goku began gnawing on the inside of his lip. Sanzo knew that was exactly what he was doing. After knowing the boy for so many years, he recognized the look in his eyes, his body language. He could read the monkey better then anyone. Turning his eyes away, he looked at Hakkai and Gojyo, a frown touching his lips. "Well," he snapped, clearly annoyed with what the conversation was doing to Goku. "What do we do about it?"

"We'll have to keep a careful eye out from now on," Hakkai informed him, not shying away from Sanzo's gaze. "Clearly we underestimated this Nuriko."

There was not much more to say after that. A few words were exchanged which Sanzo had half a mind to listen to. It simply replayed the same conclusion; they could do nothing but wait. After a few minutes Goku and Sanzo retired back to their room, and retired into bed. Though they both knew sleep would not come easily to them, if at all. So they merely sat on the bed, Goku's arms wrapped tightly around Sanzo's middle, hoping for some sort of comfort. Sanzo sat uncaring, a cigarette between his lips, and a hand placed comfortingly on Goku's back. They sat in silence for what felt like forever, a nearby clock ringing off the empty air. "I'm sorry," Goku breathed after what felt like forever. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize for things you didn't do, monkey," Sanzo snapped, though his tone didn't have its usual roughness. "It's annoying."

"Sorry," Goku whispered again. "But... I should've been able to stop her. I shouldn't have listened... I should have..." he let his sentence hang, but Sanzo knew exactly what he wanted to say. _I should have woken you._

Sanzo sighed softly, putting the cigarette out and carefully lifting Goku's chin to stare into those gorgeous golden eyes. Eyes that were filled with fear, anxiety and doubt. He closed his own violet eyes, and rested his forehead against Goku's. "I'm the one who should be apologizing," he said softly. "I should've been more on top of things. Because of my lack of..." his sentence never finished as Goku leaned up, capturing his lips in his own. He kissed him, hoping they could both find comfort in each other. After a few moments, the kiss broke.

"Don't beat yourself up," Goku said softly. "It won't do any good for either of us."

The pair settled back down, lost in orbs of gold and violet. Goku almost felt like melting. This was Sanzo. His Sanzo. The man he could freely wrap his arms around. Who he could kiss any time he wanted. He knew though, that what they had was not fake. He knew Sanzo would probably never admit it, but he just knew that the man felt more then just lust for their relationship. He took comfort in that gut feeling. Goku leaned up, kissing those scowling lips. After a moment, he rested his head in the soft junction between Sanzo's head and neck, tightening his grip around Sanzo's middle. "I love you, Sanzo," he whispered. He didn't need to hear it back. He knew Sanzo felt the same.

Sanzo said nothing as the monkey wiggled into a more comfortable position, closing his eyes. He simply watched the boy's breathing even out, even though he knew he wasn't asleep. He couldn't help but smile softly. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd been truly scared when he watched Goku approach the edge of the roof. He'd honestly thought h was going to lose someone else important to him. He swore he would never allow that to happen again. But in that single instant, he thought he'd lost Goku forever.

He wouldn't let that happen again. He wouldn't sleep for all he cared, as long as Goku wasn't taken from him. He couldn't wait to meet Nuriko face-to-face, so he could blow a hole in her fucking head. He smiled softly at that imagery. Wrapping his arms around the boy's middle, he pulled him slightly closer, burying his face in Goku's chocolate locks. The realization came sudden and swift. It shocked him so quickly that he opened his eyes, furrowing his brow in confusion.

He loved Goku.

He couldn't imagine losing him. He wanted to keep him safe, in his arms. He knew that he had been sexually attracted to the young man. Watching him strut around mornings in nothing but boxer shorts had almost driven Sanzo mad. It was all he could do not to lunge across the breakfast table and start kissing him everywhere, madly. But he realized this was more then that. He wanted to just hold the young man. Kiss him without looking for anything more. Love him as much as Goku did. Sure, there was no way he was going to hold hands in the street, or talk baby-talk or anything of the sort. He would keep Goku from harm. He wanted to make sure no tears graced those beautiful Golden eyes again.

No matter what the price was, he would make Goku happy.

"Idiot," Sanzo whispered softly, far too proud to voice his realization aloud. Even if Goku was the only one to hear it.

A small smile graced the boy's lips. "I know."

The two then slipped into a soft silence. At some point, Sanzo realized he nodded off.

* * *

**A/N: **(squeals) Aw, Sanzo loves Goku! I've been waiting to post this chapter for a long time, just because of that. Don't expect things to come easier to Goku just because of that though. I love my monkey-abuse, and it's not about to end just now.

Also, I forgot to mention this last chapter, but the lullaby did hold some meaning. (Aren't I clever?) In the first four lines, it said _In these dying hours, the raven sleeps, thunder beckons, and the earth lay still. _If you got my symbolic meanings. In these dying hours, will make more sense later; don't feel like saying it now. The raven in the song is talking about Seiten Taisei, Thunder is Nuriko, and the Earth is Goku. I felt like being totally clever there.

It probably has no meaning, but I felt like putting it up here anyway. Don't forget to take a moment to threaten me into writing faster! I love those. xD


	10. Chapter Ten

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Ten**

The next few days were like walking on air. Sure, Goku couldn't eat and it was bugging him, but it wasn't like he was hungry either. It felt a lot like it did when he was in the cage. That in itself scared him. But having Sanzo with him to talk to and comfort him made him feel better about the whole thing. Besides, he had, what? Two more symptoms to go through before this whole thing blew over and he could kick Nuriko's ass? He couldn't wait.

Sanzo had almost been "cuddly" the last few days. Whenever they were alone he was bombarded with kisses and random displays of affections. The sex had been wonderful too, Goku had to add. He half-expected to one-day find Sanzo in nothing but his boots with a rose for him. Wouldn't that be a wonderful present, Goku thought with a snicker.

He almost forgot about the curse all together. It was almost a blessing. During nights, he stayed up a lot simply talking, or whatever with Sanzo. Until the man was so tired he fell asleep in his arms. It was bliss. Pure, unexplainable bliss.

It was one morning that Goku stumbled out of the tent. He was, as expected, up before Sanzo, heading out into the morning light. He had spent another night eloped in Sanzo's arms. It made getting up each morning heaven. He headed over to the small fire, which Hakkai had already started, Gojyo nowhere to be seen. He plopped down on a rock, looking over at the fire before his gaze darted back up to the Sinner.

"Good morning, Goku," the man said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Great," Goku chirped. The two continued on, talking mostly about Sanzo, Gojyo and what good had seemed to happen in their lives. Hakkai purposely ignored the topic of Goku's curse. He didn't want to pour salt on old wounds when he was just starting to look happier.

Gojyo awoke later, giving Hakkai a sleepy kiss before taking his seat next to his lover. Hakkai poured him a cup of coffee, and the pair kissed again. Clearly they loved their fact that they no longer had to hide their love. Goku smiled softly at the pair. He wished he could have that openly mushy-gushy relationship with Sanzo. Then again, he already had the man, so why did he want more? Love was making him very selfish.

Sanzo exited from the tent, stumbling over to them and taking a seat next to Goku. He blinked lazily, holding his hands out expectantly, not even looking at the people in front of him. Goku laughed, getting to his feet. "I'll get it, Hakkai," he said, allowing his friend to take care of his own sleepy lover. He grabbed the coffee pot Hakkai had set up several hours earlier. He poured the man a cup, but swore when the cup slipped from his hand, and the hot black coffee spilled all over his arm and leg.

"Goku, are you all right?" Hakkai asked, knowing the young man was probably burnt.

Goku stared at his hand, wide eyed. He watched as it began to turn red. He mouthed a few words, but nothing came out as Hakkai began healing it. Sanzo was already by his side. Wide-awake as if he'd suddenly been slapped across his face. Goku dimly noticed his presence. "I can't…" he breathed as Hakkai continued his work "I can't feel it."

"Goku?" Sanzo breathed, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Tell me your kidding." Goku placed his newly healed hand on Sanzo's, shaking his head while staring off wildly.

"I can't feel it Sanzo. The warmth of your hand. It's…. not there."

The fourth part of Nuriko's curse had taken affect.

---

The reached a town by nightfall.

Goku felt horrible. He felt worse then horrible. He felt empty. Useless. Not even there. He was a prisoner in his own body. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't feel anything. And soon his voice would be stolen from him. Then what? Would they be able to defeat Nuriko and stop this stupid curse? Would killing her really end it? Or trap him in it eternally? So many doubts and questions ran through his mind. It terrified him really. But he tried to be strong. Had to be strong. What would Sanzo think of him if he went off blubbering like a child? So he had to be strong. No matter how much it tortured him not to feel the wind on his face as they drove across the countryside.

Sanzo had pulled up to a rather fancy inn, declaring they all needed relaxation, and pampering (not in those words of course) and no one seemed to complain. Sanzo bought them two rooms, handed a key to Hakkai and half-dragged Goku away.

The boy complained and whined, but Sanzo would not hear of it. He wanted Goku to relax. To forget what was happening to him. Though he knew that would be a hard thing to do. So he did the only thing he could think of; brought him to the baths. After Sanzo had stood before the whiny Goku, and told him to take his pants off, Goku was all too willing to try and "relax."

The pair had slipped into the bath silently. They were alone. Secluded by walls on all sides. Sanzo slipped into the water, letting out a soft sigh as the water soothed his muscles. He watched Goku slide in as well. Watched, as he didn't much care to ease in, as he couldn't feel the warmth of the water. He couldn't bring himself to feel pity at the moment, as his eyes were hungrily soaking up the image of the young man's half naked body. Oh how he had the sudden urge to rip away that towel and devour him.

But Goku needed comforting right now. Not hot, sweaty sex in a bathhouse.

Damnit all.

He watched as Goku settled himself down, leaning his back against the edge of he bath and closing his eyes. Sanzo silently moved up next to him, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist and pulling him into his lap. Goku relaxed against the older man, resting his head back against his broad shoulder. He could not feel Sanzo's breath on his neck, or the water, or the warmth, but Goku could take comfort knowing the man was there. Knowing he would always be there with strong arms and tender kisses.

But those strong arms were not giving him comfort today.

He tried to relax, tried to enjoy the moment of intimacy, but he couldn't. It was nagging on his stomach. Nagging on his mind. He'd been thinking about this curse for too long. It was going to be the death of him, he was sure. But he couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. The thought that he couldn't feel Sanzo's lips pressed against his neck bothered him more then not eating ever could. He chuckled lightly, surprising Sanzo. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Sanzo," Goku said, as the chuckles diminished. "I guess I'm an idiot for getting myself caught up in this, aren't I?"

Sanzo cracked a half smile, which went unnoticed by the brunette. "Yeah," he said. "You really are." He nuzzled into Goku's hair, more for his own satisfaction then Goku's. "But I don't care."

"I wish she would hurry up, you know?" Goku asked, not surprised to find himself spilling all his thoughts and feeling to the man behind him. He allowed Sanzo to kiss and nuzzle his neck as much as he wanted. "This whole thing is driving me crazy."

"Mm," Sanzo mumbled.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yes," Sanzo grumbled, looking up towards Goku's slightly annoyed golden eyes. "Go on."

So Goku let out a sigh, spilling all his thoughts, and worries to the man behind him. To Goku's surprise, Sanzo listened intently, nodding and occasionally commenting. It was so comforting to finally have someone to vent all his anguish to. He could talk to Hakkai, sometimes, and occasionally Gojyo, if the man wasn't too busy picking on him. But Sanzo, he'd never seen this silent, co-operative side of him before. He kind of liked it.

"Okay, we should get going," Sanzo said, pulling himself out of the bath, yanking Goku up with him. "We've been in here for a few hours. It's already dark."

Goku blinked, looking out a nearby window to find that indeed the sun had gone down some time ago. He was enjoying just talking with Sanzo so much he hadn't realized how late it had become. Sanzo suddenly pulled him into a mind-blowing kiss. Sanzo's tongue played with his own, as the man tried to deepen the kiss. Goku didn't move at first, slightly stunned by Sanzo's boldness. He then rested his hands on the man's shoulders. In a moment they reached behind his neck, twirling in his blonde hair. He couldn't feel the sensations that usually ran through his blood when they kissed, but none the less moved in the way he knew would make Sanzo groan. Hearing that pleasuring sound almost made up for the fact that he couldn't feel the kiss.

Almost.

Sanzo slammed him up against a nearby wall. Hard. He was glad he couldn't feel the impact. As if Sanzo had somehow been possessed by a trickster of the night, his hands began to roam over open flesh. He broke the kiss, moving next to Goku's ear. He nibbled on the lobe, not caring that Goku couldn't feel it. "You're too damn irresistible," he hissed. "I swear if you keep wearing those boxer shorts to breakfast, one of these day's I'm going to leap across the table and strip you then and there."

Goku could only grin. "Really now?" he purred. "That doesn't sound bad at all." He then nibbled on Sanzo's neck, licking the spot before he bit through skin. He knew the action was driving Sanzo crazy. "I could be real mean, y'know Sanzo," he said with a small mischievous glint in his eyes. "I could walk away. I should leave you here, just like that."

Goku suddenly found Sanzo's grip on him tighten, and his back being pushed into the wall behind him. "You wouldn't dare," Sanzo growled, his voice deep and husky from lust and need.

That was the exact reaction Goku was looking for. He leaned up, kissing Sanzo lightly on the nose. "I should. It might teach you a lesson."

Sanzo smirked down on him, watching Goku's eyes widen slightly from the predatory smile. "Do you honestly think you could walk away from me? It would drive you just as nuts as me."

Goku pulled Sanzo in for another kiss. Suddenly longing to be able to feel the man's skin against his own. He broke he heated kiss; panting for reasons he didn't understand. He stared up at Sanzo, loving those violet eyes and golden hair all the more. He loved the way his hair stuck to his forehead. The way his lips were shaped. There was nothing imperfect about this man.

He took Sanzo's hand in his own. He could feel the heat in his veins as it claimed and pounded on his head, demanding he take Sanzo and free his body of it's tension. He let a smile catch his lips. That was one thing the curse couldn't steal from him. "Let's go," he breathed in Sanzo's ear. "I'll even let you be on top." He smirked at the joke, pulling back to take in Sanzo's expression. "That is, only if you hurry." And then he turned, laughing as he headed back into the change room to gather his clothes.

Sanzo stared for a moment, before kicking himself. His charge was getting away. Hating to have to play into Goku's game, he chased after him. If nothing else, he had been able to cheer him up. And he was going to get laid anyway.

Could this night get any better?

* * *

**A/N:**Kay... this seems like on big fan-base chapter to me. (stare) Eh, I guess it kind of is. I'm being nice to Goku for now. But don't worry, the monkey abuse will return... soon enough. Review please! 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Eleven**

The day Goku lost his voice was full of anxiety and relief.

To Goku, it meant Nuriko would finally make her decent. It would mean the end of everything. Maybe he could finally go back to normal. They could defeat Nuriko like all the other side-tracks they had faced, and carry on towards the west once again. Everyone seemed unsurprised the morning that Goku came down for breakfast, opened his mouth, and couldn't say a word. He seemed to struggle with it, annoyed that he could no longer speak. No longer tell his friends what he was thinking. He grew immediately frustrated, but relieved that this could finally end.

Two days had passed, and still Nuriko had not made her appearance.

It was driving Goku insane. Every time he tried to talk to Sanzo, to let out his pent up frustration, he couldn't. His only output of frustration had been taken from him.

The lack of appearance was wearing on everyone's nerves. No one knew when the woman would strike. Sanzo barely slept at all, wanting to keep and eye on Goku. Hakkai and Gojyo were each unnaturally tense, flinching at any sort of contact. The days dragged on slowly, waiting, watching for any sign of an oncoming attack.

It was raining that afternoon as Goku pulled himself up the stairs in the inn. Sanzo hadn't felt like traveling in the least and so no one complained. Goku glanced around the darkened hallway. He hated it. The sun was supposed to be out, and instead it was overshadowed by dark rain clouds. Just like Sanzo. His sun was covered in darkness; in sadness. And Goku could do nothing but wait for the storm to pass.

He entered the room he shared with the monk, glancing in and taking in Sanzo's darkened form by the window. He was smoking again. Somehow, that didn't surprise Goku. The man seemed so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't even hear Goku's footsteps as the young man crossed the room. He placed a hand on Sanzo's shoulder, a way of hello. Sanzo jumped at the contact, turning towards him. His body relaxed and with a grumble, he turned back to the window. "What do you want, Goku?"

Goku cocked his head to the side, his brows knitting together. Sanzo cast a half-glance at his face. The pair had managed to establish a language between them in the short time Goku had lost his voice.

"I'm fine," Sanzo snapped, shoving Goku's hand off his shoulder. "Leave me alone."

Goku pursed his lips as a look of pure stubbornness crossed his face. He turned, placing himself in Sanzo's lap, placing both hands on his shoulders in an attempt to keep the man from turning away. He frowned deeply, a look that clearly said; _Don't push me away. _

Still, Sanzo's resolve did not crumble. He glared back at the man, pushing one of his hands effortlessly off his shoulder. "I need to be alone," Sanzo spat. "Now get out of my face. You're a nuisance to look at." Sanzo shoved Goku off his lap none too gently. Goku stood his hands on his hips and glaring at the older man.

With one look, he frowned. _I'm just trying to help, _Goku's expression clearly said.

"I don't need your help," Sanzo snapped back, anger rising. He didn't need this now. Why didn't anyone understand he simply needed to be left alone? "Leave me the hell alone you fucking monkey!"

Sanzo felt a stab of guilt as the hurt crossed Goku's face. But once again the brunette's expression hardened into one of pure stubbornness and anger. Goku wasn't going to give up tonight. Goku grabbed Sanzo's collar, pulling himself to glare at the man straight into the eye. He was trying to get his point across without words, which seemed to be difficult. _I'm not going anywhere._

"Leave me the hell alone! I don't want, or need your fucking pity! I don't love you, so stop trying to comfort me!"

A gunshot. Was it his? Sanzo had to blink away his anger. In a fit of rage, he realized he had drawn his gun, and fired a single shot. Goku's eyes were wide. Shock and pain marred his handsome features. The two stood in silence, before Goku finally chose to move. He lifted his hand up, running his fingers delicately across his cheek. Sanzo couldn't stand that absolute pain as he pulled his hand away, coming across blood.

Sanzo had missed. But just barely. The gunshot had grazed the young man's cheek, clipping off a bit of his hair as well. Sanzo couldn't believe how close he had come. Normally he shot off in their general direction, not even planning to hit them. But today, today he might as well have killed him, because he knew Goku was dying inside.

The next second Goku was running, and so was he. Goku tore out of the room, and was bolting down the hall faster then Sanzo could blink. Sanzo tore out of the room, watching as Goku turned another bend and was gone. Damnit, damnit, DAMNIT! Sanzo cursed his own stupidity, as he turned to find his shoes.

Gojyo and Hakkai bolted through the hall to Sanzo's open door, their faces flushed and eyes wide. "What happened?" Gojyo demanded. "We heard a gunshot!" His eyes lingered around the room for a second. "Where's Goku?"

Sanzo did not reply. He merely cursed repeatedly as he pulled his other boot on, grabbing the sutra that lay disregarded on the bed.

"Oh Sanzo, you didn't," Hakkai breathed as he watched the monk stumble around in search for his cigarettes.

Sanzo stood, heading towards them. "We don't have time for accusations," Sanzo snapped harshly. "We have to find Goku." And then he brushed past the pair and headed down the hall.

With Nuriko still after him, the last thing Sanzo wanted was to leave Goku alone and defenseless out in the rain.

---

He was running around blind. Stumbling about in disorientation and confusion. He wasn't sure if it was rainwater or tears that clouded his vision. Either way he had no idea where he was going. He tripped over something, falling and landing in a large puddle of mud. He was soaked all the way through, covered in a thick layer of mud and tears. He wouldn't go back though. He had to keep going. There was no way he would allow Sanzo the satisfaction of seeing him so broken down and low.

_"I don't love you, so stop trying to comfort me!" _

The words rung in his ears. How could he let Sanzo talk to him that way? How could he be so blinded? Sanzo didn't love him, Sanzo never loved him. Nothing had changed from the first night they had sex. Sanzo was using him for sex only. It was the man's only satisfaction. He didn't love him, or care for him. Nothing. He used him, and then just as easily, tossed him out like he was of no real value.

Goku got to his feet, sadness and anger boiling in his stomach so tight it was almost choking him. He began running again. He had no idea where he was going, but all he knew was that he had to get away. Away from the lies, the hurt, and the pain.

Away from Sanzo.

In his blind running, he ran into a young woman. The woman was much taller then him, and he fell back in his sudden surprise. Blinking away tears, he looked up at her. She had long blonde hair that was tied up hanging in waves down to her waist. She wore a large skirt, with a fancy shirt and her shoulders were draped in a shall. Beside her stood two young girls. Goku paid them no mind. The young woman looked down on him with a worried expression, an umbrella shielding her from the oncoming rain. He tried to open his mouth to apologize, but no sound came out.

She bent down next to him, inspecting him with a scrutinizing gaze. "Are you hurting, child?" she asked kindly.

Confused, Goku nodded.

She smiled warmly. "My name is Nuriko. I can make the pain disappear."

She set a hand to his forehead, and everything went black.

---

"Goku!!" Sanzo cried again, glancing down a nearby alleyway. His cry was then swallowed up by the sounds of pouring rain. Gojyo and Hakkai were behind him, crying out the boy's name as the searched for him endlessly. There was no sight of him. There was no sight of anyone. Everyone was inside, hiding from the rain.

Sanzo ran again, searching through alleys and in nearby stores. He didn't think that Goku would be hiding in a store, but Sanzo was desperate enough to try anything. He wished he hadn't said those things. He wished he hadn't fired his gun. Regrets swarmed inside him, eating a way at his self-confidence with every second that went by. He felt as though he would be swallowed by his guilt. Why did he always have to drive Goku away? Why couldn't he just hold the young man, tell him that everything was alright? Why couldn't he let the monkey sooth him?

He would never forgive himself in Nuriko got a hold of him because he was too stupid to accept that he loved Goku.

"Yes. Thank you, Miss Nuriko."

Sanzo stopped dead. Goku's voice. His voice! He was able to talk. He searched for the owner of the voice, turning another corner he found the brunette standing next to a woman. He was soaked to the bone, and covered in mud. But it was Goku. Sanzo just wanted to grab him and apologize endlessly, but knew he had more important matters to get through first. He said Nuriko's name. Sanzo's eyes moved up to the woman he was talking to. She was staring right at him, deep slate-grey eyes challenging him. Beside her were two young girls, one in white, and the other black.

Second, he got his voice back. Was the curse over? Had she released him? Sanzo doubted it. He reached in his robe, hand resting on his gun but not yet drawing it. "Goku!" he called. "C'mon, let's go back now. You'll get sick."

Goku turned to face him, and there a moment when neither of them moved. Golden eyes met violet. They stared at each other for a long moment, before Goku's brows knitted in confusion. Goku then opened his mouth, saying three words that rocked Sanzo to the core.

"Who are you?"

* * *

**A/N: **Dun dun dun! Uh oh! What has Nuriko done to our Goku now? Again with the monkey abuse, I know. But I can't help myself. Though I think this is more on the monk-abuse side. Whatever. You guys can decide. Please review. I love you all! 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Twelve**

"Who are you?"

Sanzo stood, shocked, confused, disoriented. What did he say? Had Goku forgotten him? He felt like he couldn't breathe, like his heart had stopped. So it was all gone? Just like that Nuriko had wiped him from Goku's life? All their kisses, their love, their nights spent in each other's arms were gone? His hard violet eyes focused on the tall woman behind Goku, who stood with a look of pure amusement in her eyes. She was like a puppeteer whose puppets were dancing all on their own. Sanzo's fingers itched, and tightened around his gun.

"What did you do to him?" he growled, voice low. He was prepared to start shooting at any moment, and had to keep himself from letting lose on her.

"I simply took away his pain," Nuriko answered, a soft, innocent smile lighting up her face.

"More like got rid of his memories of me!" Sanzo yelled, pulling out his gun and aiming it directly at her. He found the anger had zapped his breath from him, as his breathing was heavy. "Now reverse it."

Goku turned to stand in front of Nuriko. He was shorter then her, but his point got across. He glared at Sanzo with eyes of absolute hatred; it broke Sanzo's heart to see. "I don't know who you are or how you know Nuriko," Goku said, his tone seething with hatred. "But I won't let you hurt her."

He held his hand out, calling on his Niyo-bo, and aimed it directly at Sanzo. It was a warning. One Sanzo ignored. His eyes focused back on Nuriko, his finger itching to pull the trigger. "Why all this then?" Sanzo asked. "If you were just going to make him forget us and join your side, why did you put him through all that suffering?"

Nuriko smiled. "Because, he has suffered through terrible sickness, through no sleep, no eating. Loss of feeling and voice. He is on his way to become a god."

"A god?" Sanzo exclaimed, before he could stop himself.

Nuriko nodded. "One must go through extreme suffering to become a god. Goku is well on his way. He needs to go through two final stages. Stages he will have to see through by my side."

"Why?" Sanzo seethed. "Why are you trying to turn Goku into a god?"

She frowned lightly. "Because I want to be Empress of Heaven," she replied. "Goku is the only one strong enough to challenge heaven itself. I have seen him try, once, five hundred years ago. He almost succeeded. If I mold Goku into a god, then I believe he will be strong enough to claim heaven."

Sanzo growled. His eyes moved to Goku, then to Nuriko. He had to get Goku back. Right now. If he let it slip through his fingers, he might never reclaim the chance. So he pulled the trigger. A large barrier erected around the four of them, and the bullet shattered. The small girl in white opened her eyes, dropping the barrier. The other girl in black crossed her arms, waiting for the opportunity to attack. "Lady Nuriko," she complained. "May we kill him now?"

Nuriko shook her head. "Not you, Maye. This task, I shall leave up to Goku."

Goku turned to her, nodding brightly. "Whatever you say, Nuriko!" he chirped, before charging off, his Niyo-bo out front.

Sanzo had a hard time dodging Goku's attacks. He managed to avoid the first strike, moving to the side as Goku swung around with a kick. He ducted that blow, just to be hit with a full assault of Goku's Niyo-bo. He flew back, feeling his shoulder jar as he hit the ground. He pointed his gun up as Goku advance, but quickly thought better of it and discarded the gun in time to dodge another kick.

Again on his feet, he did a quick scan for Gojyo and Hakkai. Where were those idiots? He turned back to Goku, dodging another jab of his Niyo-bo. He had to calculate his options. He couldn't very well shoot the young man. Paper fan would have no effect here. He wasn't in Seiten Taisei mode, so he couldn't very well mold a new limiter. The only option was the Makai Tenjyo, but he needed time to dive into his subconscious. And during that time Goku could easily kill him.

So, he had to snap him out of it.

"Goku!" he yelled avoiding a sharp punch, then a kick. "Goku, you idiot! It's me! Wake up!"

Goku showed no signs of recognition, as he ducted low, trying to sweep Sanzo's legs out.

"Goddamnit, you stupid monkey!" Sanzo yelled, before he finally managed to knock Goku off his feet. He pinned the young man down, staring forcefully into glaring golden eyes. "Don't you remember me? It's Me! Sanzo! How could you forget me you pathetic excuse for a monkey?!"

Goku stared. He lay absolutely still, soaking up every feature of Sanzo's face. His eyes drifted to his hair, the curve of his neck and the shape of his lips. Then they rested on his eyes. Those violet eyes softened with worry. "S...Sanzo?" Goku breathed his voice on the verge of breaking. His eyes then widened, laced with pain. Wrapping his arms around his head, he gave out an ear piercing scream.

"Goku?" Sanzo cried, panicked.

With a jab of his legs, Goku kicked Sanzo off of him, practically curling into himself as he continued to scream, and scream, and scream. Immediate hatred flashed through his eyes as he turned to look at Nuriko. The woman looked scared. Really scared. "What the hell did you do to him?" he yelled over Goku's continuous screams.

Nuriko paid him no mind. "Faye! Maye!" She barked. "We have to get the limiter off him or else all our work will be in vain! Hold him down before his mind snaps and he dies!" The pair of young girls nodded, running towards Goku. As soon as they came close Goku began kicked and biting, flailing razor sharp claws. They must've been strong because a second later Goku w as pinned and Nuriko had the limiter in his hands. Sanzo could only watch, dimly hearing Gojyo and Hakkai run up behind him.

"What the hell's going on?" Gojyo was the first to exclaim. He looked to Goku, as the boy's screams of anguish turned to screams of pain. His body began to morph as Seiten Taisei took over.

Sanzo could only stare, numbly shaking his head as the girl in white was hurled off the newly transformed Goku. The boy stood, brown hair now reaching down his back, claws long and sharp and accompanied by a pair of fangs. Those golden eyes Sanzo had loved were now laced with amusement and bloodlust. "Fuck," Gojyo cursed, calling his shakujou. "Snap out of it, Sanzo, we have a little something to take care of, here."

And with that, he charged forwards. Seiten Taisei's smile grew as he watched Gojyo's pitiful attempt at an attack. He dodged before the blade struck him, appearing before Gojyo and slamming a kick to the red-head's face. Gojyo went flying back, and luckily Hakkai managed to catch him before he hit the ground. The pair went tumbling off. It was a minute before they began to untangle limbs and pull themselves from the ground.

But Seiten Taisei had set his sights on someone new. His eyes were locked with Nuriko's. There was no devilish smile like usual, but instead a look of annoyance. He took a step towards her, and she took a step towards him. They were like two locked in an eternal waltz. It was all about who was going to make the first move. "Seiten Taisei Son Goku," Nuriko barked, tone low. Sanzo's eyes widened as he watched Seiten Taisei flinch in fear. "Don't you dare stand up to me!" There it was again, fear in those golden orbs. They had clearly met before, and it was clear Seiten Taisei was scared shitless of her. "Now play with your toys and then we shall return to heaven!"

A smile crossed Seiten Taisei's face. The man turned back to Gojyo and Hakkai, who were now standing and ready for any sort of attack. Unfortunately, they weren't as ready as they thought they were. A second later Hakkai gave out a cry of pain, clutching his slashed shoulder and dropping to his knees. Gojyo could barely blink before he was kicked across the face, and slammed into a nearby brick wall. He fell to the ground, motionless.

Hakkai managed to send out a chi blast, one Seiten Taisei dodged. He then slammed his foot down across the top of Hakkai's head, and the man was knocked unconscious. Seiten Taisei had gotten much, much stronger Sanzo realized as those deadly slitted eyes settled on him.

Sanzo forced himself to his feet, an annoyed expression crossing his face. So much for using the Maten scripture, he thought dully. At least he had an objective now; to put Goku's limiter back on. He wondered on Nuriko's words, but brushed them aside. It was either he replaced the limiter, or he was killed. The answer, Sanzo thought, was obvious.

The pair were in a stand off, waiting for the other to make a move before they struck. Sanzo was tense. Every muscle seemed to have hardened. He had to time this perfectly. If Seiten Taisei got his claws in him first, then it was game over. They stared at each other for another minute, before there was a flash of lightening, and Seiten Taisei moved. He charged at Sanzo with a feral growl, claws out front. Sanzo dodged the first attack, then the second. Dealing with Seiten Taisei was hard. He was extremely unpredictable. A kick came his way, then another swipe of the claws. He dodged them both. Seiten Taisei appeared to be getting annoyed at Sanzo, dismayed that none of his attacks were connecting.

He finally managed to catch Seiten Taisei's foot. The demon gave out a growl, but Sanzo was too quick for him to make a move. He pinned the young man to the ground, straddling his chest and pinning his arms down. Quickly, he placed his hand to his forehead and began chanting. A second later a golden light appeared from beneath his fingers, and he soon felt the cold metal of Goku's diadem. He watched, waiting to hear that grunt of pain. Waiting for those claws and fangs to disappear.

But they didn't.

Seiten Taisei's golden slitted eyes stared up at him, a victorious smirk lighting his face. Then, in one swift movement, he leaned up, pulling the diadem from his forehead and tossing it to the side. Sanzo could only stare. How...? Had Seiten Taisei become that strong? The demon leaned up next to his ear, grinning maliciously. He then whispered in a low, growl of a voice that made chills run up Sanzo's spine, "Goku's not coming back." He then bit down on Sanzo's shoulder, drawing blood. His claws also rammed up into Sanzo's side, puncturing skin and causing Sanzo to let out a grunt of pain.

Seiten Taisei then effortlessly threw him aside. Sanzo's back crashed into a wall, and he saw spots. He remembered falling to the ground, allowing the world to go black to him. He heard Seiten Taisei approach, bending down next to him. Sanzo was lifted by the hair, and was forced into the eyes of his lover. Eyes that were Goku's and yet not. Seiten Taisei kicked him to the chest, easily breaking a rib or two. Sanzo suppressed a scream, shutting his eyes in pain. It didn't matter anymore. It was over. Goku was gone. He wished Seiten Taisei would simply end it.

He glanced over to Nuriko, watched her positively victorious smile. He hated that smile. No way. He was not going to let her win. He reached down into his robe, grabbing his gun and watched Seiten Taisei walk away. He pulled up his gun, and aimed it at his lover's back. He had promised. If it came down to it, he was the one who had to kill Goku. And it was certainly down to it. He tried to keep his hand still, but couldn't keep it from shaking. He didn't know if it was because of the pain or what he had to do.

_"Hey Sanzo?"_ Sanzo's eyes narrowed, trying to block Goku's voice from his mind.

_"What?" _Sanzo had replied that one afternoon. The pair had gone out "exploring." It felt like so long ago.

_"What would you do if I died...?"_

_A pause. "Don't ask stupid questions." _

Sanzo's eyes narrowed as his grip on his gun became taunt. He had the perfect shot. All he had to do was pull the trigger, and Goku would be dead.

He hesitated.

A metal pole slammed down on Sanzo's hand, and he turned his head, finding Gojyo staring at him through eyes laced with pain. "Gojyo... you..."

"Don't," Gojyo grunted out, keeping his shakujou in place, making it impossible for Sanzo to aim. "There's another way. There's got to be. Goku's still in there. We can't just... kill him..."

Sanzo let the gun fall through his fingers back into the mud. He looked up through hazy eyes at Nuriko, who stood with one hand on Seiten Taisei's shoulder. They were leaving them alive. She wanted to seem him suffer. "We're off, boys," she cried out, laughing. "Try not to die while we're gone." And with that, Faye, Maye, Nuriko, and Goku all disappeared.

Sanzo could no longer see through the rainwater that rushed into his eyes. His head lolled, and fell back into the mud. He could feel the blood seeping from his side, as the rain continued to fall.

* * *

**A/N: **All I can say about this is Sanzo certainly deserved it.

This is where the story takes a turn. I get to play around with Sanzo and Goku's mind a lot more. This is also the turn that will stretch the story even longer. So far it's twenty chapters and still growing. So I hope to see all of you to the end of this, because it's probably going to be my longest Saiyuki project. I just hope Sanzo and Goku can handle all the angst I'm pouring on them.

Also, this chapter is dedicated to EoS, for updating Liturgy. If you haven't read it, then please do. It's a wonderful story so far.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Look forwards to more in the future. Love you all!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**In These Dying Hours **

**Chapter Thirteen**

It had been an entire week since the incident.

A passing waitress heading home from work had luckily found Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai. She immediately called for help, and the boys found themselves in a hospital the next day. No one was in any mood to talk about their loss, and mostly kept to themselves. Gojyo and Hakkai talked quietly, waiting patiently for Sanzo to awaken. The man had lulled himself in a coma for three full days.

Even after he awoke his condition didn't seem to be getting any better. He stayed in bed, often smoking cigarettes while gazing out the window. Neither man wanted to bother him. Last time Gojyo tried to talk to him Sanzo had shot at him without any intention of missing. Gojyo had ducted, and then barked at him, wondering what the hell the monk's problem was. Hakkai had to break up the beginnings of a fistfight. Neither man was fully healed and he knew they would only beat each other into critical condition.

Still, after several more days, Sanzo did not look any healthier, nor did he look any happier. Hakkai glanced at the man smoking silently, before closing the door and leaning against it. He turned his gaze up to his crimson-eyed lover in front of him. "He's not taking it well," he said softly.

"I don't blame him," Gojyo muttered, crossing his arms. "His little lover is kidnapped without a trace, of course not before beating us all into the ground."

Hakkai sighed through his nose, leaning back against the door. "What do you suppose we do then?" he whispered. "There's no way we can just leave Goku with that woman."

"But how are we going to find her?" he argued back stubbornly. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we have no way of tracking them down."

"There's got to be some way. We could try to contact Kanzeon. Perhaps she could help us, or—" Hakkai was cut off suddenly as Gojyo grabbed him by the arms, pulling him into a kiss. He then broke it off, smiling devilishly.

"You're a dreamer, 'Kai. You know that?" Gojyo whispered.

Hakkai couldn't help but smile back. "So I've been told," he replied softly.

The door suddenly slammed open, and the pair jumped, turning to Sanzo who was glaring maliciously, a cigarette between his lips. He took a slow drag, before pulling it out and glaring at the pair further. "Stop making out in front of my room," he snapped, before moving aside and leaning against the doorframe. "You might as well come in. I don't appreciate people talking about me behind my back."

Hakkai and Gojyo glanced at each other as the monk moved back inside, taking a seat on his bed while trying to suppress soft groans of pain. The pair moved inside, Hakkai made sure to close the door and Gojyo pulled up a chair. As the three of them settled into the room, Sanzo lit another cigarette.

"Well?" Gojyo said after several moments of silence.

"Well what?" Sanzo replied sarcastically.

"What are we going to do about Goku?" Gojyo snapped, adding an annoyed sneer afterwards. "We have to find a way to track Nuriko down."

Sanzo took a long drag from his cigarette, eyes concentrated out the window, lost in thought. After what felt like forever, he spoke, "It's not going to be that easy."

"What do you mean, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

Sanzo paused once again, reflecting. "Because Nuriko wiped his memories. He doesn't remember me, and I doubt he'll recognize you two either."

Hakkai and Gojyo paused, eyes darting towards the carpeted floor as their minds raced with thoughts. "This… could prove more difficult then we first thought," Hakkai finally muttered.

"What else did she tell you?" Gojyo inquired.

Slowly, Sanzo relayed what had happened that night. Both before the pair had arrived, and after they had been knocked unconscious. He was reluctant, before telling them how he'd replaced Goku's limiter, only to have Seiten Taisei rip it back off. The beast's words were still ringing in his ears; it didn't give him much hope. He couldn't help but wonder; what could he do? If they found Goku, how would they put him back to normal? Was he truly lost?

"We're in deeper then I thought," Hakkai admitted with a soft sigh.

"Now you see my point," Sanzo grumbled. He took another drag from his cigarette, annoyed to find it burnt almost down to the filter. "There's not much we can do."

"But there's always the straight forward attempt," Gojyo added with a grin. "We charge in there, kick miss prissy bitch's ass, and then get out monkey back. If all else fails, we beat Nuriko into changing him back."

Hakkai could only chuckle as Sanzo shook his head. Hakkai smiled, turning back to Sanzo. "You know he's right. Perhaps the reckless way is the best way, in these situations."

Sanzo let a rare smirk grace his features, before a low, dry chuckle escaped his throat. Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged looks, before Sanzo looked back up at them. "Fine, if I can't beat them, I'll join them," he muttered. "We'll set out as soon as we can. Look for any leads, and then I'll personally put a bullet in that damned woman's head."

---

His head hurt. A lot. It throbbed even in his sleep, and the pain only doubled as he began to regain consciousness. Why did his head hurt? What did he do…? As he lay still thinking, he found no explanation for his sudden migraine. In fact, he could barely remember anything. Bits and pieces of his memory were missing. He remembered pain. Suffering. Losing the ability to eat, sleep, feel. He couldn't speak… and he remembered a terrible sickness. He could see people with him, but they had no faces, no names. He could not remember anyone, only the fact that there had been people with him.

He cracked open his eyes slowly, spotting a white roof and sunlight streaming in a nearby window. He turned his head, spotting a beautiful blue sky and sunlight pouring in and lighting the small room. Where was he? And, more importantly, how did he get here?

"I'm so glad you're awake," a relieved voice said. Slowly, he turned his drained gaze over to meet a pair of slate-grey eyes. Still, he did not recognize them.

"Where am I…?" he breathed. It hurt to talk, he realized with a wince.

An understanding look crossed her face. "You're in Heaven, sweetheart."

"Heaven…?" he whispered. "Am I dead?"

The woman gave a soft chuckle. "Of course not my dear. Don't you remember? You live here, with me, Maye and Faye. You're going through training to become a God." She turned to the bedside table, placing a cloth in a tub of water and ringing it out, before placing it to his head. "You took an awful fall. How are you feeling?"

Goku leaned back into the pillows, staring up at the roof unblinking as he allowed the woman to cool his head. "I... I don't know. I remember some stuff. But… there are these holes. And people I can't remember. It's… so frustrating."

The woman nodded in gentle understanding. "You went some pretty traumatizing things for a while Goku. I understand if your mind blocked some things out." She then gently leaned down, pulling him into a soft motherly-like hug. "But everything's going to be okay now," she whispered soothingly into his ear. "You're home."

Goku completely relaxed into her hug. It felt so natural, so familiar. Like the mother's touch he'd lost but never truly forgotten. Something deep inside him told him this was bad. That this comforting feeling was followed by a sense of dread. He remembered this. This feeling of comfort, which was followed by agony. He wished he could remember why he was feeling it, but no explanation came to him.

The door was suddenly thrown open, and two girls hurried inside, one clothed in white, the other black. The young girl in white jumped on his bed, placing herself in his lap and bouncing excitedly. "Goku! Goku! Goku!" said monkey could only blink in response. "I'm so glad you're back! Things get sooooo boring around here! Can we go play now, can we? Can we?"

The girl in black began tugging on his arm. "Yeah! C'mon! I want to go play hide and go seek, but we can't play it with two people! And Nuriko never plays with us."

Nuriko giggled softly. She was enjoying the sight of poor Goku torn between what to do. "Now, Faye, Maye, Goku's not feeling well. You should let him rest."

Both girls moaned simultaneously. "But Lady Nurikooooo!" Faye, the girl in white whined childishly. "We're bored!"

"And Goku's fun to play with! He's not a cry baby like Faye!" Maye remarked, sticking her tongue out at the other young girl. Faye mimicked her action.

Goku could only give out a simple laugh. "It's okay Nuriko," he said, surprised to have names flowing to him. Somehow the situation, these girls, was so familiar to him. As though he'd played out this scene a million times before. "I'm feeling better now. I don't mind playing with the girls for a while."

Nuriko smiled in a motherly sort of way. "All right then," she said quietly. "But you know the rules. No leaving the grounds."

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Faye said, hurrying the poor brunette out the door. "Let's just goooooo!"

"I'm coming! Stop pulling!"

Nuriko followed the three outside, watching as the pair of girl led him out to the field. Then the both darted off in opposite directions, leaving the young boy disoriented. Finally, he turned and races after Faye. She could hear the young girl's excited squeal. She reflected on how difficult it had been to bring Goku back. After replacing the limiter, Goku's mind had begun to shatter once again. It took many hours to wipe each resurfacing memory from Goku's mind. The barrier around his memories was strong, so strong that if it was broken by force then the subject would lose his mind, and die. Nuriko had not expected Goku to be so strong. She's had to rearrange the barrier to make sure Goku would not be able to break through it. It had exhausted both herself and Goku to extreme lengths.

"I should have you banished from Heaven for this," seethed an angry voice.

Mildly interested, Nuriko turned to face the goddess who stood behind her. Kanzeon glared at her, the normal victorious smirk that lit her features was replaced with a vicious snarl. "Why if it isn't the Merciful Goddess," Nuriko said, giving a curtsy. "What an honor it is to have you on my estate."

"Cut the bullshit," Kanzeon snarled. "Why the hell did you bring Goku to Heaven? You wiped his memories didn't you? You know it's forbidden for a God to meddle in the Lower World's affairs."

She shrugged. "It became my business to meddle. I had to. It's forbidden for a God to set foot in the Lower World, isn't it? Aside from Bodhisattvas, that is."

Kanzeon's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you mean?"

Nuriko smiled triumphantly. "Goku is on the sixth stage to become a God. And if I'm correct, then you aren't allowed to touch him," she crossed her arms, smiling venomously. "You can't touch him until he's become a full god or the transformation is stopped. That also means you can't hurt his keeper." Her grin only stretched. "And since dear, dear, Konzen is dead; I guess that makes me his keeper."

Kanzeon snarled. "Genjyo Sanzo is his keeper."

"Ah," she smiled victoriously. "But humans are not permitted into Heaven, are they?"

Kanzeon glared. If looks could kill, Nuriko would be thrown through a meat grinder, and then brought back to life just so she could be thrown into it again. "This isn't over," she snarled, before turning and heading swiftly from the grounds.

Nuriko smiled softly, as she turned back to Goku, Faye and Maye. The girls were laughing away, while they both tackled the older boy to the ground. "No…" she whispered softly. "I don't suppose it is."

* * *

**A/N: **I love this chapter. Nothing exciting happens, btu I love the flow of it. Mostly though, I love the ending. Nuriko is interesting to poke at. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review, and updates will be quick! 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**In These Dying Hours **

**Chapter Fourteen**

Goku was sitting out in the grounds, staring up at the clouds. He was far enough away that Faye, Maye and Nuriko would not be able to find him. To add to that, he had the long grass to cover his form lying on the ground. Chewing on a blade of grass, he watched the clouds move lazily across the sky, feeling surprisingly lonely and isolated. For some reason, he felt like he was missing something, something very important. He had no idea what it was, and this continuing feeling of loneliness and isolation was wearing down on him.

That was when a sharp jab at his mind made him hiss. Sitting up, he grasped his head. It felt like something was probing into his mind. Jabbing at his nerves and making pain shoot to life everywhere. Another jab and Goku saw a flash. A golden haired deity clothed in white. Staring at him soothingly; lovingly.

"Konzen…?" the boy breathed, shocked as the name suddenly came to him. He saw more of this golden haired man. Seated behind a desk. Violet eyes blazing with fury. He saw himself plucking the hair from the deity's head, apologizing before he was struck across the head. The first of many. He saw others too. Kenren, the redheaded general that loved to annoy his keeper. The field marshal Tenpou who always seemed to be hanging around, to give a smile and a witty remark before dashing back to his library, surrounded by books of all kinds. Were these the memories that he was missing? These three men, were they the faceless men that haunted his dreams?

And Konzen. Was Konzen the one he was aching the have back in his life? Because as he watched the memories before his eyes, he had a sudden longing to grasp the man's golden hair. To tug on his robe, to hold him and nuzzle into his warm chest.

Suddenly, the memories took a darker turn. He saw blood. Lots of it. He saw Kenren dead, lying crumpled over Tenpou's body. And he remembered running, holding Konzen's hand tightly as they ran. Then, in a flash, he was clutching the white clothed deity, screaming. Tears were pouring down his face as he clutched the lifeless body of his keeper, his guardian, his sun.

Suddenly he realized he was screaming, clutching the sides of his head and screaching, pleading for the memories to leave him. Was that why he was with Nuriko? Because those three were dead? He continued to scream until his vision went black.

---

They had been searching for leads all day, and kept coming up empty handed. No one had seen Goku, or even heard of Nuriko. It seemed as though they had disappeared off the face of the earth. "Maybe they did," Hakkai remarked dryly. "If they returned to heaven, we have no hope of finding them."

The three had been exceedingly melancholy, though Sanzo showed no signs of giving up. Gojyo could've sworn he checked every crack and crevice of the town before the three of them collapsed on a nearby bench. They were completely exhausted, and with nothing to show for their hard work.

"What do we do now?" Hakkai asked after a long, tense silence.

"What else?' Sanzo snapped bitterly, lighting his third cigarette in the last fifteen minutes. "We keep looking."

Gojyo and Hakkai shot each other a look behind Sanzo's back. They knew it was pointless to keep reviewing the same information endlessly. What could they do? When would Sanzo give up and admit that maybe… they'd finally lost.

"About time I found you!" echoed a voice before a bright globe of light appeared before the three. Suddenly, the Goddess of Mercy herself stood before them, her hands on her hips and her attendant behind her. "Konzen! It's time to get your ass in gear. We need to help your monkey!"

Sanzo frowned, clearly dismayed at the sudden appearance of the merciful goddess. Why the hell did she always have to pop up at the worst times? "What do you know?" Sanzo demanded coldly, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"Your monkey's in Heaven," Kanzeon remarked. "And only you can get him out of there. Because of ancient laws, the only one who can touch him now is his keeper, Konzen Douji. Now hurry up and get off your ass."

Hakkai frowned. He was thrilled at the news but still skeptical. "Aren't mortals not allowed in Heaven?" He asked.

Kanzeon frowned. "Yes. Technically. But we have a loop hole." She smiled broadly, pointing towards Sanzo's chakra. "Sanzo's about a close to a god as a mortal can get. As long as his body can resist the force of Heaven, and he doesn't die, then we should be fine."

Gojyo smirked, raising a brow. "What about all that rules-crap? He's still a mortal."

"Screw the rules!" Kanzeon shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Now do you want to help Goku or not?"

Sanzo tossed his cigarette to the ground, grinding it into the ground with his foot. Staring up at the goddess before him, he said; "Tell me what to do."

---

"This is terrible! This is ghastly! This is… is… the worst possible outcome!" Nuriko screamed as she paced the large room she was seated in. Faye and Maye sat on the bed next to her, both girls watching as she paced the length of the room over and over. Goku sat in a nearby chair, his golden eyes glazed and his body unmoving. The only sign that he was alive was the slow rise and fall of his chest.

"I don't see what's wrong Lady Nuriko," Faye remarked, unsure of herself. "Goku is just… in shock isn't he? He should recover soon enough."

"That's the problem!" Nuriko exclaimed, throwing her hands up and continuing her pacing, meanwhile eyeing the boy out of the corner of her eye. Goku remained unmoving.

"I'm sorry… M'lady," Maye remarked. "I don't understand…"

Nuriko let out a shaky sigh. "Goku entered the sixth stage of the transformation: Mental torment. The curse dug through his mind, trying to find something to cause extreme mental pain. But because I erased his memories of Sanzo and them, his mind had nothing to taunt him with. So it broke through the barrier that had been set around his memories of heaven five hundred years ago. But as soon as he remembered everything, the curse twisted and turned the memories to cause extreme mental pain."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Faye asked happily. "He's in the sixth stage already! He'll be a god soon!"

Nuriko sighed, continuing to pace anxiously. "But that's the problem. The whole project is based on the fact that he'll trust me. But since he's regained his memories from five hundred years ago, he remembers me. The real me." She sighed again. "Once his mind comes out of shock, he'll remember that _I_ killed Konzen all those years ago." She bit her lip, hanging her head. "He won't trust me and the project will fail."

Faye and Maye glanced between each other nervously. Fidgeting and whispering. "Why can't we erase his memories again?" Faye asked, her eyes shining with worry.

"Because then he won't remember the sixth stage, and he won't become a god," she paused in her pacing, only to resume again. "But… but…" her mind was racing as she began tapping her finger on her chin. "Perhaps we can convince him that these memories are false. But..." she frowned. "It won't work unless we have Konzen. No Konzen and our plan with fail."

The door was suddenly thrown open, and Nuriko found herself staring down the barrel of a gun into blazing violet eyes. Nuriko stared, confused and shocked as Sanzo stood in front of her, Kanzeon behind him. Sanzo seemed to be out of breath, and it was taking quite a bit of effort just to stand. Sweat poured down his brow but he managed to keep a glare. "Where's Goku?" he said simply.

Nuriko smiled inwardly, but masked it with a scowl. Well, if Sanzo didn't have good timing or what? Her eyes shot to Kanzeon. "How is he here?" she snapped. "The force of being on Heaven should have killed him instantly. No mortal can survive on Heaven for more then a minute."

Kanzeon smiled victoriously, crossing her arms. "You under estimated Sanzo's ability to live."

Nuriko's eyes trained back on Sanzo, before she smiled cockily. "You can't have him. Clearly he's—"

"Konzen?"

Nuriko's eyes snapped back to Goku, surprised to find the dazed look fading from his eyes. His golden pools brightened with hope and the next second he was clinging to Sanzo tightly, unable to let go. In his weakened state, Sanzo stumbled back against the wall, sinking to his knees. Kanzeon stood protectively in front of the pair as Nuriko growled. "You can't just take him!" she screeched.

"Konzen Douji has reclaimed his pet," Kanzeon stated as she snapped her fingers, and the pair behind her were gone. "And there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

"I swear," Nuriko hissed anger seething from every pour of her body, "That one day I will kill Genjyo Sanzo once and for all. And this time," her eyes narrowed. "He will stay dead."

"Don't count on it." Kanzeon said simply, before turning and heading from the room.

Nuriko waited until she was sure Kanzeon was gone before sighing softly, turning back to the twins who had remained unmoving on the bed. Giving a shaky smile, she said, "See? Problem solved."

"I don't understand," Faye mumbled. "Didn't we just loose Go-chan?"

"Yes, but we can always get him back," Nuriko said softly as she began to pace the room again, her mind already forming a new plan. "Because now that he has Sanzo, the man will convince Goku that his memories are false. Then getting him to trust us won't be a problem."

"But what if he wants to stay with Sanzo?" Maye asked with a pout.

Nuriko smiled deliciously. "Don't worry, I have a plan."

---

As Sanzo began to come to, he found himself in an alley somewhere in town. He wondered why the hell the damned excuse for a goddess had to dump them in an alley, but at the same time found it no longer mattered. Looking down, he found the brunette snuggled in his arms, blissfully asleep. His arms were wrapped securely around the blonde's middle. It was so tight it was almost painful. Sanzo didn't care. He had Goku. Nothing else mattered.

He knew that as soon as Goku regained consciousness he was going to apologize. Damn his pride. Goku needed to hear that he was sorry, and that he loved him. He was damned if he was going to let Nuriko whisk him away again because Goku was too heartbroken over him to say no.

Sanzo ran his fingers through Goku's tussled hair. He missed that feeling. Missed feeling his arms encircle him. Missed waking up to the monkey's earthly smell. Missed the feeling of the boy's lips on his own. Hell, he missed Goku in general. And he'd been so afraid that he'd lost Goku forever. How many times had his heart twisted and tugged in his chest, because this damned Nuriko was messing with their heads? Making Goku do dangerous things, stealing his monkey from him. She was going to pay. Severely. If he hadn't felt so drained earlier, he would've shot her then and there.

Sanzo shifted slightly, to make himself more comfortable. Golden eyes peeled open, and Goku looked up at him, his eyes clouded with sleep. Sanzo could feel his insides melting. He just wanted to kiss the boy senseless, but resisted the urge. "Konzen…?" he muttered in a sleep-slurred voice.

"Shh," Sanzo whispered, kissing him softly on the temple. "Go back to sleep. I'm right here."

Taking comfort in that, Goku closed his eyes, resting his head back against the man's chest and falling asleep almost instantly. Sanzo ran another hand through Goku's hair, kissing the top of his head.

He would protect Goku no matter what, even if the monkey didn't need protection.

And if Nuriko thought she was going to steal him away again, she was _dead fucking wrong_.

* * *

**A/N: **I really don't like this chapter. The flow seems really choppy to me. I don't know.

Sanzo stole his monkey back faster then I expected, but I'm pretty sure everyone out there is okay with that. But Nuriko has something extra devious up her sleeve, you can count on it. I really like where the story goes from here, and I'm having a lot of fun writing it.

Anyhow, review and such. I expect I should have chapter Fifteen up relatively soon. I love you all.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Well, what the _bloody fuck_ are we supposed to do now?!"

"Gojyo, please lower your voice."

"I'm not going to lower my _fucking_ voice! How am I supposed to be calm when this goddamn goddess is _fucking_ with our _monkey_!?"

"Shut up, you damned kappa, I'm trying to think."

"Shut up and screw yourself, ass-wipe."

"Do you _want_ to die that badly?"

Goku watched, only mildly amused at the three figures move about the room, caught up in an argument. It seemed to happen a lot, Goku had found when he and the blond had run into the Tenpou and Kenren look alikes. Konzen had not been able to stop yelling at Kenren, while Tenpou had tried to quell the arguments. Goku tried to stiffen a giggle. Nothing had changed. They were still the same three men from heaven, despite their differences.

He'd been thankful when he finally saw Konzen again. It meant his sun wasn't dead. Whatever he'd seen, it must've been false. Because here was Konzen. Alive. Breathing. Goku thanked every god in heaven for it, too.

"Look," Konzen said with a sigh, running a hand through his short blond hair. "There is nothing we can do. You're just going to have to shut the fuck up and get over it. We'll figure something out tomorrow. Now I'm tired, get the fuck out of my room."

The Kenren-look-alike scowled, placing his hands in his pockets. "As if. You just want time to screw your monkey."

Konzen growled.

The Kenren-copy and the Tenpou-copy laced arms, Kenren grinning with mirth. "C'mon Hakkai. Let's leave the monk to his monkey," he turned, snickering all the way. "Man, I knew monks liked little boys, but I never imagined one going for a little monkey before."

A cup ran past Kenren's head, smashing into the wall. The man let out an undignified squeak, before quickly slipping out the door, Tenpou in toe. As soon as they were gone and the door shut, Konzen ran his fingers through his hair. Goku frowned, suddenly overcome by the desire to run his fingers through it, wishing it wouldn't make his sun so darn mad.

Konzen leaned back against the door, studying him with eyes unwavering in their intensity. It made Goku fidget. It stirred something in his chest that he could not name. "So," Konzen said slowly, scrutinizing his form on the bed. "What exactly can you remember?"

"Everything," Goku said, before his features twisted with puzzlement. "I think. I remember bein' in heaven with you, and Tenpou and Kenren. But… I don't get it Konzen. Why are we on Earth? I remember seein' you die. Why? What happened?"

Konzen's brows furrowed in confusion. "Heaven?" he echoed. "Goku, we never were in Heaven, and my name's not Konzen. I don't know what ideas that bitch put in your head, but I'm _Sanzo_. And Gojyo and Hakkai are here too. All right?"

"Sanzo?" Goku echoed, suddenly clutching his head as it began to throb painfully. "Sanzo… Sanzo… Sanzo…" That name sounded so familiar. But why…? Why did it hurt to say it? Was there something about that name he wasn't supposed to remember? The more he probed and poked at his memories, the more it hurt. Goku let out an undignified yelp as he pushed too hard.

Suddenly, he found his headache subside as tender lips were placed against his head, a soft, soothing hand on his back. Goku let his eyes slide closed, melting at the familiarity in the touch. "Sleep," Sanzo, or Konzen—or whoever he was—said. "If you keep thinking, your head will explode."

"But…" the blond cut off his useless protest with a soft kiss. A kiss that was achingly familiar, yet he couldn't say why. Konzen never kissed him like this. It made his heart flutter.

"Don't make me hit you. Now go to sleep. You need it."

Goku looked up at the man, becoming lost in his violet depths. Slowly he nodded, allowing the man to gently ease him back into the bed, and tuck him in. As his eyes slid closed, he felt the man kissing his eyelids softly, before moving off the bed. "Konzen…?" he whispered, peeling open his eyes.

"I'll be right back," the man said, turning to face him.

Goku shook his head. "No. It wasn't that. I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

Goku let his thoughts trail onward, before shaking his head and closing his eyes again. "Never mind. S'not important." Goku dimly heard the door closing behind the blond as he drifted off into slumber.

---

Out in the hall, Sanzo found Hakkai and Gojyo waiting almost expectantly of him. "Well?" Hakkai pressed as soon as the door closed softly behind him. Unable to hold back his impatience, he quickly exclaimed, "What happened? Did you learn anything?"

Sanzo shook his head. "No. Nothing. It's the Homura dribble all over again. The whole Konzen, Kenren, Tenpou junk. He thinks we're all in heaven."

"Damnit," Gojyo cursed softly. "What the hell did she do to him?"

Sanzo shrugged in answer to Gojyo's question, producing his cigarettes and lighting one. "Perhaps," Hakkai reasoned softly. "The best thing for Goku at the moment is to relax and recover. Meanwhile we can try and figure out what's really going on here. These stages of Goku's transformation bother me, and I'd like to learn more about them."

Sanzo nodded. "I agree entirely," he said, hard gaze moving from Hakkai to Gojyo. "So, that's why I think you two should head to the town's library, and learn all you can about gods and all this heaven crap."

"Hold up!" Gojyo remarked loudly, turning to glare at the blond. "Who says you get to stay behind and sit on your royal ass all day?"

Sanzo crossed his arms, a look in indifference across his face. "Someone's got to look after Goku."

"I'll look after Goku!" Gojyo volunteered, blanching at the idea of having to spend the entire day in a library.

"Like hell you will," Sanzo said with a snarl.

In the end, Gojyo found himself seated at a desk in the large public library, beating his head to the table meanwhile surrounded by hundreds of books, cursing a certain blond monk under his breath.

---

The next few days passed easily. The blond had insisted Goku call him Sanzo, and Goku had tried hard to answer his request, but he found himself often slipping up and referring to him as Konzen. So the monk gave up and let him refer to him as he wished.

Each day Hakkai and Gojyo descended out to the library, reading for hours and trying to find any information to help Goku, but none came. Each day that rolled by seem to give him less and less to work with. It was beginning to look hopeless. But Sanzo wasn't giving up. There had been a small temple in town, and Sanzo had checked into it, scouring the books in an attempt to understand what Nuriko was planning. He came up short. All he knew was that Goku had two more stages. Could perhaps his memory relapse be a stage? Or was it something Nuriko had done to him purposely? Sanzo couldn't say.

He was just glad to see Goku eating and sleeping and feeling things again. Sanzo had concluded that the first five stages were one set, and the last two was another. Perhaps that was why Goku was able to speak again. He could be wrong, but that was his guess.

It hadn't taken him long to realize, his state of mind was indeed the sixth stage. Every night he'd been woken up by Goku, who had been thrust into nightmares. He was always thrashing around, his eyes wide, but unseeing. Crying and yelling out in an attempt to stop whatever demons haunted him. He'd woken up each night to cradle the boy in his arms, telling him everything was okay. Even when he was awake the boy's nightmarish visions didn't leave him, and he sobbed for hours. Sanzo was finding sleep less and less each night. He was sure that Goku's curse would probably kill him if this kept up.

It _hurt_, to look at the boy, Sanzo realized. His heart ached every time he settled on those unusually bright golden eyes. Because he wasn't the same. He wasn't the same boy who had fallen through his grasp. This Goku acted younger, spoke with the same lisp he had before, moved the way he had when he was a child. He acted like the same, eleven year old boy Sanzo had brought down from the mountain, and it made Sanzo's chest ache. How Sanzo yearned for his charge. He wanted the mischievous, yet innocent nineteen year old who had somehow wormed his way into his life; into his heart. What had happened to Goku's memories of their time together? And why was Nuriko so intent on ruining everything they had?

Sanzo found it increasingly more and more painful to look at him. Because every time those golden eyes settled on him, Sanzo felt his heart stop, and his breath hitch. Goku didn't know how increasingly desirable he looked and it was driving Sanzo mad. Goku looked at him like a guardian, and in his current state, Sanzo didn't want to push himself on the boy. It could set off something he shouldn't, and the last thing Sanzo wanted to do was hurt the boy any more.

Although it was growing increasingly difficult to keep his hands off the boy.

So, he reluctantly traded places with Gojyo, and each morning set out with Hakkai to the library to do more research. As much as it pained him to leave the boy alone, he had to. Lest he decide to jump Goku when he was looking exceptionally adorable.

Though learning about Goku's condition was not going very fast. Each day rolled by with absolutely nothing to show for it. They were all starting to give up hope.

---

"You don't mind, do you?" cooed a very self-absorbed voice. Kanzeon narrowed her eyes, recognizing the pitch. Still, she did not turn away from the pool sprinkled with water lilies. "If I join you?"

"Why would I?" she snapped back, her normally confident tone taking a sharp edge.

Nuriko came to stand next to her, staring down into the pool which held the figures of the Sanzo-ikkou. Smiling confidently down upon them, she said, "I assumed you wouldn't want me watching them with you. Considering what I've done to the group's little monkey."

"I admit what you're doing is against everything I stand for," she muttered dryly. "But, you've given me some damn good entertainment." Nuriko smiled victoriously. "Though, I will not stand by for much longer."

"What happened to 'Gods are only supposed to watch the show below'?" Nuriko asked.

Kanzeon snarled. "I'm sick of watching. Besides, if you're meddling, it's only right if I should too." Nuriko continued to smile, and they watched Gojyo attempt to interrogate Goku. "What are you doing here, anyway?" she snapped finally.

Nuriko shrugged her shoulders lightly, her eyes still glued to the forms in front of her. "I wanted a front row seat for what's about to take place," she answered simply.

Kanzeon's eyes narrowed, turning to the woman next to her. "What have you done?"

"Nothing," Nuriko said with an innocent smile and bat of her eyelashes. "I told you, didn't I? I need Goku with me. Now that Sanzo's fixed my little bump in the road, I can claim him back as my own." She then added in a cheerful tone, "So I sent someone to get Goku. He won't be able to say no."

Kanzeon glared suspiciously. "_Who_, exactly, did you send to get him?"

Nuriko turned to her, winking. "Quiet, great Kanzeon-sama, the show's about to begin," she referred down to the pool, as Sanzo and Hakkai entered the room, watching Goku jump up, clinging to his savior and going on in a childish way. "Let's watch, shall we?"

* * *

**A/N: **It's kind of a filler chapter, but I like it anyway. It's better then the previous... But chapter sixteen is my favorite so far. Nuriko's "visitor" comes for Goku, and Sanzo gets all like, "Nooooo... my monkey!" It's kind of funny.

I love writing Sanzo like this. It's not the most IC way to go, but having him take an attempt at being sweet is really fun to write.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Review and I'll get chapter sixteen up really quick.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Sixteen**

"_I… can hear someone. A voice, maybe? Why does it sound so familiar?" _

Groggily, Goku shook sleep from his eyes as he slowly began to sit up. He gave a loud yawn, and stretched his shoulder muscles. It was before dawn, still dark but he could see the sky slowly turning purple, announcing the arrival of the oncoming sun. Yawning again, Goku turned his attention down to the man who was lying next to him. Sanzo's eyes were closed in peaceful slumber, and his faced looked positively angelic. An arm was dragged suggestively around his middle, and Goku blushed. He'd never realized Konzen—er, Sanzo—could stir such weird emotions deep within his chest. It felt like he couldn't breathe. Like he wanted to put space between him and the man, yet he knew he couldn't stand to be out of his arms for long.

Goku's sensitive ears picked up the sounds of a faraway lullaby, filtering through the rooms of the inn, meant for his ears only. He recognized the lullaby as one Nuriko used to sing to him. He closed his eyes and let the sound sooth him, before he caught his name again. Someone was calling him, from within the melody, and it was driving him nuts. He had to find out who it was.

Reluctantly, he left Sanzo's warm embrace, heading outside and down the darkened hallways. He could hear the lullaby clearer now, as if beckoning him to follow it. Goku happily complied, following the sound of his name sung within the lullaby.

He turned and twisted down hallways, following the sounds like a cat following the trail left behind by a mouse. He was led down the stairs and towards the front door. As he stepped outside, he was met with a blast of warm night air. It was refreshing and soothing. He continued to follow the sounds until he reached the end of the walkway, freezing in his tracks.

"Konzen?"

Before him stood Konzen, clad in his white robes from heaven, long blond hair cascading down his back, held back in a ponytail. He was leaning heavily on a stick, and he was covered in blood. Goku felt certain he would lose his lunch. He stared, stunned as the blond deity lifted his head, and smiled at him. "Goku…" he breathed, before his eyes rolled back and he fell to the ground, motionless. And certainly not breathing.

Goku could not stop the scream before it had ripped through his throat. "_KONZEN!_" he sobbed, trying to reach the figure before someone grabbed him from behind. He didn't need to know who it was as he was spun into the safety of a pair of arms he knew too well. He wanted to break away, had to break away to help Konzen, but Sanzo would not relinquish his hold. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" he screamed, beating his fists into Sanzo's chest. The blond hated to admit it, but it hurt. The boy was no weakling, curse or no. "I have to help him! I have to help Konzen!"

Sanzo winced when Goku's screams reached a new level of high, practically strangling him in Goku's anguish. 'There's nothing there, Goku!" he yelled over the boy's sobs. "It's just an illusion!" Goku's fighting gradually began to slow, before the boy went lax and simply cried in his arms. Sanzo breathed a sigh of relief, allowing himself to slowly slide towards the ground, Goku in toe. Looking up, the figure of Konzen had disappeared, though a large puddle of blood remained, the source of which could not be determined.

---

Sanzo was disturbed at the sight of his young charge. Ever since he'd spotted his alleged "Konzen" lying in a puddle of his own blood, he seemed haunted and melancholy. Even when Gojyo had pestered him, or taunted him by stealing from his plate, the young man had not responded. He seemed eerily quiet as well, reflecting. One afternoon when Sanzo had asked him what the problem was, Goku had turned to him, eyes wide and frightened. He looked just as he had when Sanzo had found him in the cage, absolutely stupefied and yet frightened. Then, in a soft voice, he said, "Why Konzen… why were there two of you…?"

After six days of continual melancholy, Goku began to cheer up once again. He began smiling, slowly, before it came back full force. He was smiling and bantering with Gojyo once again. He was laughing and playing with anything that could contain his interest. Sanzo was glad. He was beginning to become extremely worried over the young boy, and it relieved him greatly to see him attempt to tackle Gojyo over something stupid like a meat bun.

But that was when it had happened again.

Goku and Sanzo had been seated in the lounge that afternoon. It had been raining heavily, and Sanzo was trying his best to ignore it. That didn't stop him though, from smoking heavily, staring up at the ceiling in an attempt to turn away from the foreshadowing window. Goku had been drawing on the floor, humming softly and kicking his feet back and forth. The sight reminded him of when he'd brought the boy down from the mountain. He'd somehow got it in his head that it was all right if he drew on all of Sanzo's documents. It had taken Sanzo a few months to teach the boy to draw on his own damned paper.

When Sanzo heard shifting, he glanced towards the boy, surprised to find the brunet standing by the window, staring out into the rain with interest. As Sanzo leaned over, he tried to find out what Goku had been so intent on looking at. That was when he caught sight of the man clad in white robes, with long golden hair that stood out amongst the dreary downfall of rain. He was clocked in blood, as well. Goku was shaking now, staring with wide eyes at the figure limping towards them. Sanzo watched the brunet, slowly rising to his feet. "Goku…" he said slowly, watching both his charge and the strange man outside the window. "Come away from the window."

The second Goku scrambled to unlock the window, Sanzo was on him. He grabbed the small teenager, ripping him away from the window. This earned a shrill shriek from the boy. "No! No! Let me go! I have to help him! Konzen! No, Konzen, don't die!" His shrieks and screams reached a nasal pitch, causing Sanzo to wince.

With some difficulty, he pinned Goku to the floor, holding his arms still and straddling his waist. Goku's eyes were wide and panicked, as he continued to thrash. Sanzo grit his teeth. He had to stop Goku somehow. "You idiot!" he cried out, and against his best interest, said, "I'm Konzen, aren't I?" Goku stopped writhing immediately, staring up at Sanzo with stun and curiosity. "That guy out there is an illusion! A fake! I'm right here and I'm not going to die, so calm down!"

His loud tone struck a cord somewhere deep inside Goku's mind. Panting, he tore one arm free, reaching up and fingering Sanzo's hair lightly. "It's… like the sun…" he breathed, before pulling Sanzo into a hug he wouldn't soon escape from.

---

And finally, the third time they encountered the white-clad deity was in broad daylight. Sanzo had decided to take Goku outside, as the boy had been whining about his boredom all day. He needed to pick up more cigarettes anyway, and decided to kill two birds with one stone. But the crowds were thick that morning, and Sanzo was more then annoyed at the fact that Goku was drawn to almost every thrift shop and restaurant along the way. Against his better judgment, Sanzo had grabbed the boy's hand, pulling him along towards the small cigarette shop.

Goku could only stare numbly at their connection, surprised by the warmth in the monk's hand. He smiled softly, turning his eyes away in embarrassment when a flush rose to his cheeks. Who knew such a simple contact could embarrass him so much? Looking up at Sanzo once again, the boy shook his head, attempting to rid it of the blush. Sanzo cast him a confused look, and Goku tried to distract the man from his flushed face. "Look, Sanzo! A ramen stand! Can we get some!" he sped towards it, tugging on Sanzo's hand in an attempt to make the man move faster. There was no way he was going to relinquish his hold on the man.

"We ate less then an hour ago," Sanzo snapped, but none the less follow Goku's lead. After several moments of deterring Goku from the stand, they were back on track towards getting cigarettes. Gradually, the boy stopped trying to pull the monk every which way, and fell back to walk next to the man. He continued to blush, looking anywhere to avoid the man's face. Sanzo looked down at his young charge, and shook his head in amusement. Finally, after reaching the cigarette shop, Sanzo broke contact. Goku stared at him as he headed inside, then felt the warmth from his hand. He suddenly missed Sanzo's touch, and wanted to run in and cling to him again, but didn't.

Instead, his attention was caught by the white-clad man walking away. He watched Konzen disappear into the crowd, before his heart twisted and turned. Before he could stop to spare a thought for Sanzo, he began running after him.

Sanzo wasn't sure what made him look up. Perhaps it was just reflex, but when he saw Goku turn, disappearing into the crowd after a tall, blond haired man, Sanzo cursed. He threw down the carton of Marlboro's he was carrying, and headed after his young charge.

He had to dart through the crowds in an attempt to catch Goku. The boy was annoyingly fast when he wanted something. He ran after the brunet, making sure to keep a sharp eye on him. He cursed when he watched Goku run right outside the boarders and head straight into the woods.

---

Goku finally managed to catch his breath after chasing Konzen into the nearby woods. Pushing branches from his face, he tried to find where the blond deity had run to. "Konzen?" he called out, heading deeper into the foliage. "Konzen, where'd you go?"

"I'm over here Goku," he heard Konzen call. He tried to find the source of the voice but couldn't quite place it, so he continued to stumble about, searching blindly.

"Where?" Goku cried, trying to fight off more tiny branches that scratched at his face.

"Just behind the trees."

Finally, fighting his way through the branches, he found Konzen standing before him. The man stood tall, the all-too familiar scowl lighting his face. His clothes were perfectly white, and he was not injured. There was not a speck of blood on him, and it made Goku's heart melt in relief. "Konzen!" he called, enveloping the man in a tight hug. He felt a hand on his head softly, messing up his hair.

"Shh, it's all fine now, Goku. I finally found you," pulling away from the boy's hug, he bent down next to him, smiling softly. "C'mon, we should go back to Heaven now."

Goku frowned questionably. "But… what about the other Konzen?"

Konzen frowned lightly. "Other Konzen?"

"The man, he looks just like you, he talks like you to. He said he was Konzen," Goku explained awkwardly, looking up towards his guardian.

A dark look crossed Konzen's face. "Goku, I want you to stay away from this man. He's not a good person."

"But—"

"No buts. I want you to promise me you'll never speak to him again," Konzen said forcefully, grasping Goku's shoulders roughly.

The boy winced as fingers began to bite into his skin. "But Konzen I—"

Goku was cut off by the rustling of leaves. His golden eyes snapped over to the sound, as a second later Sanzo stumbled out from the branches, grumbling and pulling leaves from his hair. As Sanzo's violet eyes met Konzen's, a low growl began to form in his throat. "Goku," Sanzo said, his tone strict and demanding, leaving no room for questions. "Get over here."

Goku's worried gaze flickered from Sanzo to Konzen, caught in indecision. Before he could make a move, however, Konzen stepped before him, shielding him with a dangerous glare. "I am Goku's keeper, and I won't let you lay a hand on him, you damn fake."

"Fake?' Sanzo cried, as though he'd been slapped across the face. "I'm sorry to inform you that I'm Goku's guardian, and I'll be taking him back now."

Konzen laughed dryly. "You? His guardian, that's a laugh." Turning to the boy, Konzen smiled, "Now Goku, who do you trust, me, or _him?_"

Goku's gaze flickered between both of them, as fear began to settle into his stomach. "I… I don't know."

Sanzo could no longer hold back his anger as he pulled the Smith & Wesson from his robe, pointing it directly at Konzen. His eyes narrowed, but before he could make his demand, Konzen laughed. "You? Try to kill me!?" he cried, before laughing once more. "Please, I have Goku on my side."

Said brunet looked up at him in confusion. "Huh?"

Konzen smirked viciously. "Go kill him, Goku."

"What?" Goku cried, pulling away from the blond. Konzen turned his sickly sweet smile on him, reaching out towards his diadem. "Come now Goku, all you have to do it take it off. For me? Will you take it off for me?"

A shot was fired past Konzen's shoulder, but he didn't stop. 'Touch him and die," came Sanzo's snarl.

Konzen grasped Goku's arm, pulling him into his chest and lifting him up. Using the boy as a shield, he grinned sickly. Sanzo stood frozen, glaring the god down. "Now give me the gun, Sanzo. Nice and slow, or I'll break his neck."

Sanzo's eyes flickered from Goku's frightened form, to Konzen's sickly grinning face. "You wouldn't," Sanzo challenged. "You need him."

Konzen laughed dryly. "Not as much as you do, it appears." To prove he was serious, Konzen's grip on Goku's neck tightened, and the boy gave out a yelp. There was no way Goku would be able to fight back on his own. He had the mindset of a child, and probably could do little more then kick and scream. Sanzo was torn. Biting his lip, Sanzo reluctantly gave up the gun. If all else failed, he had the Maten scripture. That would be his last resort. Konzen accepted the gun, grinning as he cocked it back, before aiming it directly at Sanzo. Goku gave a scream of protest, though Konzen's grip was firm. "How does it feel, Sanzo?" Konzen breathed, his fingers tightening around the gun. Sanzo's expression did not change. "To be killed by your own weapon?" His eyes narrowed. "I swore I would kill you and I meant it."

Without a second thought, Konzen pulled the trigger.

Goku screamed as the bullet connected with Sanzo's shoulder. The blond was thrown back against a tree from the impact, sliding towards the ground. Goku began to kick and scream and bite, not even realizing he was crying. This was not his Konzen. There was no way Konzen would kill someone like that, for no reason.

In a sudden blur of images, Goku finally saw "Sanzo." He remembered everything, good and bad, and it tore through his mind like a sledgehammer. He continued to scream, the weight of the memories forcing him to his knees. Konzen looked stunned for a moment, before he smiled. As he reached his hand out, Goku could only stare at him through pained eyes. The barrier had finally snapped, and Goku understood everything.

"Do you want me to take away the pain?" Konzen asked airily, extending his hand.

Goku glared up at the man, suddenly feeling an overwhelming hatred towards this person who would dare impersonate Konzen. Konzen was dead, he knew, and this pathetic fake didn't have the privilege to carry his name. In a sudden, blinding hatred Goku struck. He shoved Konzen to the ground, using his small, human-like fingernails to carve their way into Konzen's chest. The man cried out, suddenly, before the pain abruptly stopped. Looking up, Konzen was frightened to find Goku grinning down at him. He would've mistaken the creature for Seiten Taisei, but the golden eyes were still Goku's, and the diadem was still in place.

"You have no right to call yourself 'Konzen'," and with that, Goku shoved his nails into the imposter's eyes.

---

As Sanzo began to regain consciousness, he found himself seated in a pool of blood. Some of it was his own, but most of it was the creature that lay dead before him. The body jerked suddenly, before it fell still. This thing that had impersonated Konzen was dead, and it looked as though something had ripped it up. Fearful, Sanzo wondered if Goku reverted back to his demon form, but was surprised when he found his young charge seated on the man's chest, heaving for air.

After a moment, the boy turned to him. His eyes were sunken back with a faraway look, and he was crying. Sanzo could only sit in stun at the blood that clocked his hands and lower body.

"Look Sanzo," the boy whispered lightly, pulling himself closer to the blond. "I… I got rid of the fake. Did… did I do well?" Goku's voice cracked and more tears began cascading down his face. He looked down to his blood soaked hands, crying further. "I killed him, with my bare hands. I killed Konzen."

"Goku…" Sanzo breathed, moving to comfort his charge, but biting back a wince when his shoulder burnt with fiery passion.

"I remember, Sanzo," he whispered, eyes unnaturally wide and haunted. "I remember everything."

Sanzo was about to open his mouth to question the young man, when suddenly Goku's eyes rolled back in his head, and he fainted. Cradling the boy in his good hand, Sanzo concluded that Goku had merely fainted in shock. It was difficult, but somehow he managed to push himself to his feet. Despite the pain, he picked the light boy up in his arms, and without looking back, headed back to the inn.

* * *

**A/N: **Mwahahaha. T'was Konzen that Nuriko sent. But it seems her assasin/kidnapper has failed, how will she react? And how is Goku now that Konzen's attack has broken the barrier? Oh me, oh my, so many questions!

Okay, now that I've gottten that out of the way, I'd like to say that I love this chapter. Hell, I love where it goes from here. Lots o' angst, lots o' mindfucking. I get to play around with Goku's character even more, which is great. xD Goku is going to need serious threapy when I'm done with him.

C&C always appriciated.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Victorious didn't even begin to cover how Kanzeon felt as she sat in Heaven, watching as Sanzo carried Goku back towards the inn. Slowly, she turned to Nuriko, who stood, staring in shock next to her. Crossing her legs, Kanzeon let a malicious smirk cross her face. "Well, well," she cooed. "It seems your fake Konzen has failed. Figures Goku would be able to see through it."

Nuriko shook her head lightly, staring at the figures in the pool of water lilies. "This is bad."

"I'm sorry your plan is failing dear but I'm afraid there's not much I can do about it," Kanzeon replied sarcastically, watching as the Goddess beside her began shaking her head in disbelief.

"No. You don't understand. He snapped the barrier. That was the only thing that was keeping his sanity in check. If we don't do something right away, then Seiten Taisei and Goku's minds will merge," she replied softly, horrified.

Kanzeon frowned slightly, the victorious gleam slowly fading from her eyes. "There's no problem, that has happened before" she said. "Five hundred years ago Seiten Taisei and Goku merged, but we managed to pry them apart."

Nuriko turned her wide, horrified eyes towards her. "No. You don't understand. Goku is about to enter the seventh and final stage to become a god. If we don't work fast to pry them apart, then the seam that separates them will disappear, and Goku and Seiten Taisei will become one being. Not to mention he will be a god and unstoppable."

Kanzeon's eyes flared dangerously. "How could you even think of doing that to Goku knowing the repercussions!?" she screamed.

Nuriko took a shaky breath. "I didn't think he would be this powerful. He wasn't supposed to be able to break through my barriers," finally managing to regain some of her composure, Nuriko turned and began briskly walking away. "I need to find someway to stop this before it's too late."

"Hold on!" Kanzeon cried, rising to her feet. Nuriko paused, turning to shoot her a look over her shoulder. "I'm coming with you."

---

Goku had been unconscious for several hours, which gave Hakkai time to remove the bullet from Sanzo's shoulder and close the wound. The man grimaced at the pain, and happily accepted the painkillers Gojyo offered to him. He'd been attacked with questions the second he walked through the door, but truthfully he didn't know all of what happened. They would have to wait until Goku regained consciousness, and hopefully he could shed some light on what happened.

The state of the boy after Konzen had been killed startled Sanzo. He'd been covered in the man's blood, with a wide, haunting look in his eyes. But, deep down, Sanzo swore he saw a flicker of amusement and bloodlust. He must've imagined it. He _hoped_ he imagined it.

"_I remember, Sanzo. I remember everything." _Did it truly mean that Goku was back to normal now? That he remembered Sanzo, and their journey and everything that had happened? Sanzo simply prayed that everything would go back to normal. Though he had an aching feeling that things were far from through.

He'd been in Goku's room when the boy awoke. He sat up slowly, wiping the sleep from his eyes before his eyes caught the blond in the corner. His face brightened immediately. "Sanzo!" he cried, jumping from the bed with newfound enthusiasm. "How are you? Does your shoulder still hurt? Are you okay now?"

Sanzo scowled at the boy's energy, but none the less glad to hear him using his proper name. Sanzo bat the kid away with ease, rising to his feet. "I'm fine. Now calm down, will you?" he snapped, glad to see the boy was not affected by his insult.

Goku beamed happily. "I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?" he asked, stretching his shoulders and arms, complaining softly about being stiff.

"Yeah, whatever," Sanzo replied softly, turning towards the door, opening it as the teenager headed out calmly. Sanzo watched him with a critical eye. It seemed like whatever small amount of maturity Goku had was back. Did that mean that everything was back to normal?

Once they stepped outside the room, Goku was bombarded with questions and concerns from Gojyo and Hakkai. They both asked how the young man was feeling, if he needed anything, and everything of the sort. The young brunet laughed softly, assuring them both that he was fine, but hungry as hell. The group decided unanimously that it was time they all went down for lunch.

Back to his ever-hungry self, Goku ordered nearly everything on the menu. Sanzo would've been angry, if he wasn't so relieved. Though he didn't show it, he was glad Goku was back to eating everything in front of him, along with starting the occasional bantering with Gojyo. Of course, Sanzo had only been able to stand it so long before he produced his gun, threatening to the pair to be silent. Goku and Gojyo had complied for a while, before Goku's wandering eye began to stray to Gojyo's plate. Sanzo still couldn't stop the twitch of annoyance as the bill arrived. Even if it wasn't his money, it was still a lot.

The four of them sat back, enjoying each other's company as they began to talk idly. They talked about everything, though still avoiding the subject of the last few weeks, and Goku's curse. Goku was glad for it, and replied with whatever they had to say. Though the three of them couldn't help but notice Goku's strange behavior. Goku's wandering eye caught a young waitress serving several other men, and Hakkai didn't mistake the predatory gleam in Goku's eyes. It surprised him, to some extent. The boy seemed to be having some difficulty focusing back on the conversation, while trying not to watch the young waitress occasionally.

Gojyo couldn't help but notice the boy's fingernails. Gone were the clipped human like nails. The nails on Goku's hands looked more like claws, reaching out to a sharp point and looking even more dangerous. They unnerved Gojyo a bit, considering Goku's limiter was still in place.

And Sanzo couldn't help but notice Goku's posture. He was slumped over the table, head resting on one of his arms while one of his clawed fingers tapped irritably on the table. It was if he was waiting for something. And as if he was getting tired of sitting around and waiting for it to happen. Sanzo couldn't help but frown slightly. What on earth was he waiting for?

Gojyo asked the boy a question, but Goku didn't reply. His eyes were glazed as he stared off. Gojyo called his name, but still Goku didn't respond. After a moment, Goku's eyes flickered to him, and a small, sleepy smile caught his lips. "I'm sorry Gojyo," he whispered. "I'll have to answer you later. It's time to play."

"Play?" Gojyo echoed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Genjyo Sanzo!" the group all but groaned at the arrival of a new onslaught of demons that stood outside the inn, looking formidable but wasn't in the least. "We demand you hand over the Maten scripture and we might let you live!"

Goku stood from the table without a word, and headed towards the door. Confused by the boy's strange behavior, the trio simply watched as he stepped outside, approaching the tall, formidable demon who'd spoken. Sensing danger, Sanzo immediately put out his cigarette and rose to his feet, following the young boy outside. Goku looked curiously up at the man, who was a little stunned at his behavior. "Your heartbeat is irregular. The sweat clinging to your skin and your shallow, almost undetectable breathing proves you're afraid," Goku told the man quietly, his eyes narrowed in accusation. It was as though the man's fear was an insult to him. "How dare you stand before us and demand the scripture without even bringing anything that might prove a challenge."

Without a second thought, Goku ripped his claw-like nails across the man's throat, grinning at the spray of blood that spread out before him, before the body fell to the ground, gurgling and twitching violently. A second later it fell still and Goku grinned maliciously. "So many pulses, a lullaby which calls to me," he sang out, his eyes resting on the demons quaking before him. His eyes narrowed and the glint in his eyes was pure amusement and bloodlust. "Who's next?"

"This is fucking insane," Gojyo breathed, as he watched Goku rip through the crowd of demons like wet paper. Bodies kept falling and the blood kept spilling. It was almost nauseating. "Is… is that our Goku?"

"I… I wish I could say," Hakkai whispered back, equally horrified. His green eyes flickered up towards Sanzo, as if the monk held the answers to Goku's strange behavior. "Sanzo… what should we do?"

Sanzo stared as Goku jumped from one demon to the neck, his sharp claws tearing through flesh as insane laughter escaped him. Sanzo was rooted in place, watching in horror as he toyed with his victims. "I… I'm not sure," Sanzo whispered, shaking his head in pure disbelief.

Finally, there was nothing but a pile of corpses in the street, with a river of blood that painted the entire town red. And Goku stood in the midst of it all, staring at something before he finally lifted his head. Gojyo flinched, turning to Hakkai. "You don't think…"

"I don't know…" Hakkai whispered softly as Goku headed towards them.

Goku stopped before them, blood cloaking most of his body while a small, innocent smile lit his face. He was looking up at Sanzo, who'd masked his expression with indifference. Slowly, he held his bloodied hands out before him, smiling sweetly. "Did I do good, Konzen? I got rid of them for you." His smiled only stretched, looking up at Sanzo with eyes glimmering with hope. "Did I do good? Please, Konzen, did I?"

Sanzo opened his mouth, wondering what he could say, but Goku did not wait for a response. Turning to Gojyo and Hakkai, he laughed, shaking the blood from his hands. It was a purely innocent, boyish laugh. "Aw, look at that. I did all the work again. Darn it all," he let out another boyish laugh. "Aw I'm all sticky now. Imma gonna go have a bath now, 'kay Konzen?" Goku turned back to the blonde, smiling sweetly. "Join me?" he said bluntly, pushing himself up on his toes and kissing him softly. Before Sanzo could react Goku pulled away, before dashing back inside and up the stairs.

The sudden change of name did not slip by Sanzo's notice. He watched his young charge disappear up the stairs and around a corner, before turning back to Gojyo and Hakkai who were equally stunned. "I'll go talk to him," he said, turning towards the room. He didn't need to listen to their accusations, and concerns.

---

By the time he'd made it upstairs to the room he and Goku shared, the boy had already begun pouring himself a bath. He moved about the bathroom, humming softly as Sanzo entered their room. Goku poked his head out, and grinned. "Hey Konzen," he said with a grin, as he attempted to peel his blood soaked shirt from his chest. "Decided to join me, eh?" this was followed by a chuckle as the boy disappeared back into the bathroom. There was a plop, signaling the blood soaked shirt hitting the floor.

Sanzo sighed softly. He certainly wasn't the timid little boy he was a few days ago. Sanzo pulled his robe from his body, leaving him in jeans and a skin-tight black shirt. He followed the boy into the bathroom, watching as he checked the temperature of the bath before moving too peel his bloodied pants from his person. "What do you think you're doing?" Sanzo asked critically, unable to stop his wandering eye from soaking up every one of Goku's movements.

Goku paused, looking up at him. "Taking a bath," he replied innocently.

"Not that," Sanzo snapped. "I mean with those demons outside. What the hell were you doing?"

"Aren't you happy?' Goku asked, peeling the pants from his body and letting them fall to the floor with a soft slump. He stood in the middle of the bathroom completely naked, with his hands on his hips and not a hint of modesty. "I got rid of them. What's so wrong about that?"

Sanzo found replying hard as his eyes were soaking up the image of the tanned boy before him. He was trying very hard to focus, but the sight of the youth, naked, in front of him reminded him how long it had been since they'd been together. Goku grinned, noticing his wandering eye and stepped forwards so he was right in front of the blond. "What's wrong Sanzo?" Goku whispered, before taking one of the monk's hands, and placing it to his own chest. He could feel the monk start at the contact, and it only made him grin. "You can touch. I won't bite."

Sanzo grasped the brunet by the back of the head, pulling him in for a ferocious kiss. He bit at the boy's lips, tormenting his tongue to no end. But Goku wasn't willing to play submissive as he grasped the blond's tongue lightly between his teeth, pulling it into his mouth before sucking on it hungrily. Sanzo was surprised by this, and couldn't stop the jolt that ripped through his lower regions. Goku's hands flew to Sanzo's jeans, unbuttoning them and thrusting his hands inside, fingering the hardening erection.

That was when Sanzo had managed to push the boy away. Goku looked up with a frown. "What're ya doin'?" Goku whined, reaching out towards his pants again.

Sanzo bat his hands away. "You're covered in blood. Wash up first."

Goku looked down towards his hands, as if finally realizing he was covered in blood. He then turned back to look up at Sanzo, and scowled. "Fine, but you're coming with me," he snapped, lunging forwards and ripping his shirt up over his head with amazing speed. Goku's hands fell to his pants and Sanzo allowed him to drag them down around his ankles, before the blond kicked out of them, practically dragging the youth towards the full tub. He waited until Goku got in the warm water first, before Sanzo followed.

Goku smirked up at him possessively, as if he were a predator about to claim his prey. As soon as Sanzo had settled into the water, Goku sprang forwards, claiming his spot on Sanzo's lap and wrapping his hands around Sanzo's hardening erection. Goku gave a small squeeze, before devouring Sanzo's mouth. Sanzo was surprised at Goku's dominance, but allowed the young man to do as he pleased. He was simply glad to have Goku back in his arms again, pleasing and being pleased.

As Goku began to spread Sanzo's legs, the monk started. "I wanna be on top for once," Goku growled, his eyes dark and leaving no room for discussion.

Still, Sanzo was not one to be dominated so easily. "I—"

Goku silenced him with a feral growl, before hurrying forwards and biting into Sanzo's neck. Sanzo had to choke back a moan. None the less, he allowed himself to relax, giving Goku all the dominance he sought.

* * *

**A/N: **Go Goku. xD Horary for possessive nutso-demon Goku.

Those of you who have me on alert probably realized that I sent this chapter out twice. But something's messing up with and it only showed this chapter part of the time, so I decided to upload it again. Sorry for the confusion.

C&C appreciated.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Eighteen**

Goku was mostly back to his normal self that morning as he headed down to breakfast. Back to his loud, black-hold-of-a-stomach, stupid monkey self. Everyone was relieved, but at the same time could sense that not everything was back to normal. The predatory gleam in his eyes had not disappeared, nor had his claws. Hakkai was beginning to worry as Sanzo came down that morning, cursing softly under his breath with every step he took. Throwing aside all regards for safety, Gojyo grinned. He had to mess with the monk's head, seeing him hobble towards the table in a totally un-Sanzo-like way.

"Whatsa matter Priest?" Gojyo asked with a snicker, as Hakkai began pouring Sanzo his coffee. "Was the baby monkey a little bigger then you expected?"

Sanzo opened his mouth to retort, but Goku beat him to it. With an echoing _clang_, Goku shoved his fork into the table, narrowly missing Gojyo's hand. The man yelped, jumping backwards, before glaring. "What the he—" He couldn't even finish his sentence before he caught the absolute dark look in Goku's eyes. Gojyo actually stumbled back by the intensity of the hatred and possessiveness in his eyes.

Then with a grin, Goku shrugged the look off as if it were nothing, reaching over to Gojyo's place and grabbing the last meat bun as if it were his true goal the entire time. "Victory!" he shouted happily, before engulfing the entire thing in his mouth.

Gojyo was momentarily stunned by the intense death-glare Goku had shot him. A moment later he realized Goku was picking almost everything off his plate, and he snarled. Wrapping an arm around his neck, he drove his knuckles into the boy's head. "What do you think you're doing, mini-monkey?" he snapped.

Goku laughed, trying to shove him off. "Hey! Leggo, you stupid pervy kappa!"

Hakkai stared in stun for a moment, before turning to Sanzo. Said blond tried to avoid his look, but finally Hakkai chose to speak up. "Sanzo, may I talk to you privately?" his tone was polite, but they all knew that beneath his smile he meant business.

Sanzo hesitated a moment, before rising with a grunt of agreement. Goku's wandering eye caught them, and he pouted. Hakkai didn't mistake the flicker of jealousy and possessiveness in his eyes. "Aw, where ya goin' Sanzo?" he whined.

"No where, you stupid monkey," Sanzo muttered, hesitating in following Hakkai. "I'll be right back, idiot," he added, taking a moment to ruffle the boy's hair affectionately. Finally, he turned to head after Hakkai.

The pair stepped outside, and Sanzo took the opportunity to light a cigarette. Hakkai said nothing as he leaned back against the wall, taking in the morning sky before he sighed, turning back to Sanzo. "Well?" He said softly, causing violet eyes to flicker over to him. "Did you talk to Goku? Do you have any idea what's going on?"

Sanzo hesitated a moment, taking the time to inspect the cigarette in his hand. "No," he said finally. "I don't." Pausing he took another deep drag, allowing the nicotine to sooth his irritation and stress. "I'm not sure what we can do, Hakkai. I don't know if this is another stage, or if Goku's have a mental breakdown from this curse," pausing again, he leaned his head back against the wall of the inn. "So I think our best course of action would be to find Nuriko, and find out what's going on."

Hakkai laughed dryly. "Isn't that always our best course of action?" he asked softly.

Sanzo snorted. "Maybe," he muttered, listening as Hakkai opened the door, pausing.

"Are you coming back inside, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

He hesitated. "…In a minute," he said, before placing the cigarette to his lips again. He listened as Hakkai left him alone on the porch, and slowly he peeled up his eyes, looking out towards the early morning sky. It was still dark out, but he could see the sun peeking over the eastern horizon. They would have to head out soon.

Sanzo allowed himself to study the cigarette in his hand, watching as the smoke rose, twisting with the wind before disappearing into nothingness. A simple human life, he thought aimlessly. He brought the cancer stick to his lips, watching the end grow brightly as he sucked in the smoke, before releasing it into the early morning air. A human life was just like a cigarette, glowing bright in it's moments of achievement, before becoming nothing more then smoke and disappearing in the wind.

So easily one life could become tainted. Fallen to the ground, covered with dirt and muck and god knows what else. So easy it was to snap a cigarette. Was this a human? So easy to break and ruin and soil? A simple human who might burn too slowly, or too quickly? Sanzo let a low chuckle emit from his throat as he shook his head. He was thinking too much. Taking a deep drag from his cigarette, he allowed the nicotine to sooth him. Nothing like a cigarette after breakfast.

Sanzo couldn't even sense the presence before it was on him. Flipping around, he reached for his gun before the blow hit him. Vision swimming, he sunk to the ground, his head hitting the wood beneath him with a dull _thunk._ The cigarette in his hand fell silently to the ground, rolling for a moment before it came to a stop.

Without warning a boot suddenly crushed the fine cigarette into the dirt, leaving nothing but ash as it turned to gather the fallen monk.

A single life cut too short.

---

A second after Goku had smelt Sanzo's blood; he was out the door and scouring for any signs of the monk. Gojyo and Hakkai were quick to follow, confused at the boy's insistence before they arrived outside.

The entire town looked as though it had been deserted, save for a lone demon standing in the middle of the street. Sanzo's blood spotted the porch. Hakkai's brow creased with worry, Gojyo cursed, calling his Shakujou, and Goku flexed his claws. Gojyo and Hakkai could only find it mildly bizarre that the young brunet was completely forgetting his Niyou-bo. Goku growled low, his eyes laced with hatred as the demon continued to chuckle in front of him.

"What'd you do with Sanzo?" Gojyo demanded, his eyes glued to the demon but not oblivious to anything else around him. Gojyo allowed himself to watch the monkey out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't quite sure where his head was at the moment, and with his strange behavior the last day or so he wasn't ready to let his guard down.

Hakkai seemed to be thinking the same, as he eyed the boy occasionally. Goku's features were completely hardened, not a fault in any of his features. He was impossible to read and that scared the young healer. Turning his eyes back towards the demon, he tried to focus on the main enemy.

The demon shrugged casually. "I'm just a simple demon. My name is Koskie, and I've come by the order of my Lord Kougaiji to destroy the Sanzo-ikkou."

That caused Hakkai's ears to perk up almost immediately. _So Nuriko didn't send him… _he thought. _That's interesting… _

"I don't care who the hell sent you!" Goku screamed, suddenly all emotionless control slipped and his face betrayed the raw, pulsing anger. With his teeth grit and his fists clenched, he looked absolutely terrifying. Hakkai actually took a step back in surprise. Save for the long hair and slit pupils, he could've mistaken the boy for Seiten Taisei. "What the hell did you do with Sanzo?!"

Koskie shrugged casually, studying his nails. "I'm not sure; he was around here…" he drawled, causing the growl to grow in Goku's throat. "Let's just say I've put him away for safekeeping. First I have to dispose of you, and then I'll haul his decrepit corpse and the sutra back to Houtou castle for my reward." He smiled cockily as he finished, only angering the group further.

With a snarl, Goku lunged out, ripping his claws through the creature. The demon's form shook slightly as Goku fell through it, before hardening again. An illusion. Goku snarled, flipping to his feet and backing up. Koskie laughed, spreading his arms wide. "This entire town is my trap; I have power over it you could never imagine. Cut and slice all you want, Son Goku, but while you waste your time on me, your precious Sanzo's slowly bleeding to death." Horror momentarily flickered through golden eyes, and he growled.

"Tell me where he is!"

Koskie suddenly grinned, sliding back into a fighting stance and holding his hands out. "If you want me to tell you where he is, then come at me."

Hakkai was about to call out to him, but before he could do anything, Goku lunged forwards, his claws ripping through Koskie's image but meeting with nothing but air. Koskie's foot suddenly rammed up, hitting Goku square in the chest. The young brunet coughed, the wind knocked out of him as he was thrown back. Flipping in the air, he managed to land on his feet before bursting forwards once again. Hakkai watched, eyes wide. "Hakkai," Gojyo breathed. "What the hell is he doing?"

Hakkai watched as Goku attempted to hit him again, his claws only meeting air. "This is incredible," he muttered. "Koskie is using an old technique I thought was lost. He's suspending his image in purgatory, leaving only an after image of himself every time Goku strikes. Whenever Goku moves to hit him, he removes his body from this plain, then pulls it back in whenever he moves to hit Goku."

"Wait a minute," Gojyo exclaimed, turning back and forth between the fight and Hakkai. "So when the brat attacked him… he's either a complete moron, or…"

"…He already knew," Hakkai finished, eyes unbelievably wide as he turned towards his red-haired lover. With a nod the two burst forwards to join the fight. Before they could, a barrier erected itself around them, blocking the pair off from the other fight.

"What the fuck?!" Gojyo exclaimed.

A tremor caused them to glance over their shoulders, watching as the ground split apart and human-like shikigami began to crawl forth. Hakkai frowned softly, already charging chi in his hands. "It seems we have a fight of our own to deal with, Gojyo," he muttered.

"I just hope the monkey doesn't lose it while we're not looking," Gojyo replied, calling his Shakujou and lunging into battle.

---

Koskie's boot caught Goku to the side of the face and he was thrown to the ground. Without the sifting between dimensions, Koskie was a good fighter. Though Goku would've been able to win if he could just land a hit. He pulled himself from the ground, wiping a hand across the side of his face, coming away with blood. Koskie was beating him pretty bad, but in truth, it was nothing he couldn't handle.

He jumped to his feet, backing off as Koskie landed another blow towards the ground, shattering rock and sending dust flying in a million places. Blinking the dust rapidly from his eyes, Goku sprung forwards. He cursed a second before his fist went through the man's image, already sensing the man's body slip through the curbed dimension. He was thrown straight through the image, landing with a hard thud on the ground. Goku just managed to roll away to avoid another kick.

Damnit, this wasn't getting him anywhere! Koskie was too fast, and could use his powers too easily. Goku needed to increase his speed before he would be able to land a hit. With his newfound determination, he burst forwards, sending a kick. Just as the kick finished, he slammed a punch upwards. "What—" Koskie found himself cut off as the punch connected soundly with his jaw. Goku grinned; watching as the demon was thrown back, landing to the ground with a dull thud.

"Yes," Goku whispered, the word trailing off into a hiss as he straightened upright. He watched as Koskie stirred, before he appeared before Goku. The boy cursed silently. _Shit! Now he's shifting through separate dimensions. I won't be able to keep up with this kind of speed! _

Koskie landed a kick straight up Goku's jaw, continuing up and slamming right into Goku's limiter. Koskie grinned. "Face it, I'm too strong for you," he whispered, watching as Goku was thrown into the air.

Goku fell to the ground with a dull thud. And his limiter hit the ground several feet behind him.

---

Swimming, suffocating darkness ebbed at his vision before swallowing him whole. He hadn't been able to see where he was before the light was stolen from him as he was sucked into the darkness. It ate away at him, pecking at him like a flock of crows, pulling and picking at his sanity until he was sure nothing was left. Consciousness was beginning to fade and he wondered how long he'd been down in the darkness, listening to his own blood drip soundlessly onto the floor below him, collecting in a puddle that was seeping into his robes, surely staining them.

He couldn't even remember how he got there. Had he always been there? Did he used to live in the light? His mind was muddled and the only thoughts that could get through was the thought that he was dying.

His life force continued to seep out of him, and he could feel the puddle expanding down towards his fingers now. It was getting very fast, and he was sure he was probably deathly pale now. The blood would soak into every part of his body. It would stain his robes, past to his skin and soil his hair. He would be such a pale, frail creature in death that had been soaked in its own blood to satisfy the deranged needs of the man who had put him there. He let his dulled eyes flicker closed, wondering how many more hours, how many more days, he would be here, lying until his heart would give out and he would breathe his last.

That was when a voice called out to him. A wordless, pleading, terrified voice that rocked him to the very core. His muddled mind told him he knew this voice. Knew it well and he had to do something to cease its agony.

He felt like covering his ears when the voice became louder, more persistent in it's wanting. It was a loud voice that was completely dominating, bloodthirsty, sorrowful, deranged, playful, hateful, detached, brilliant, angry and yet stupid, ignorant, happy, mischievous, clinging, hungry, submissive, loving, pleasing and pleading. It was two voices, he realized. Two voices that were pleading a name that did not exist but belonged to him all they same. Two voices that were so different and yet blended together so perfectly it would be impossible to tear them apart.

The voice in his head became almost a desperate scream as it reached new nasal pitches. He grit his teeth. It was _painful_! Why wouldn't someone make it _stop_? Someone, he pleaded silently, give it what it wanted and make it _shut the fuck up._

Cracking open parched lips, he attempted to tell it to be silent, but his own calls were drowned out within the sound of the voice. The echoing of his own voice back to him seemed to be swallowed by the creature screaming his non-existent name. He wanted it to stop! _Needed_ it to stop!

Summoning up the last of his energy, Sanzo opened his mouth and began to scream.

* * *

**A/N: **I can't express how much I loved writing this chapter. This one and nineteen were a real joy. I hope you're all anxious to see the next chapter, because I'm just as anxious to post it. I hope that after eighteen chapters you guys are still enjoying this, or I'd be very upset.

I love all your reviews, and I'm proud of myself. We made it to over 150 reviews! Yay! (Totally late) Happy reviews for us? O.o

C&C appreciated.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Nineteen**

He wasn't sure why, but overpowering fear captured him as he sat up, running his hand along his forehead, not coming in contact with the cool metal of his diadem as he normally would have. His eyes widened a fraction of an inch before tremors ripped through his body. He remembered this feeling. This was what it was like when he lost control and Seiten Taisei took over. But unlike previous times, there was no shift in power; he wasn't being forced back into the far crevices of his mind. He could still see clearly, still hear everything. Something was different. Something was _wrong_.

Untold power coursed through his veins, and before he knew it, ripping shredding pain coursed along with it. He had an inkling feeling that this pain had always been there, but by this point it was Seiten Taisei who took it. Not him. He'd never experienced this kind of pain before and it ripped through him like a rock through wet paper. He clutched the side of his head, shaking like mad, and let out a blood curdling scream.

It felt as though all his limbs were being tore off, piece by agonizing piece. He could practically see his body being torn apart in his mind's eye, and it made him whimper, though he knew such things were not happening. As soon as he was sure his mind would snap, the pain stopped, returned with burning, fiery pain. It felt like someone had doused him in gasoline and then set him aflame. He felt like crying the pain was so immense, yet at the same time he could feel his tears evaporating before they even touched his cheeks.

And he could hear a voice—thoughts—at the back of his mind that were not his own. Thoughts of someone else, thoughts of a monster. Seiten Taisei's thoughts, he knew immediately. Before he realized what was happened, his own thoughts began to synch together with Seiten Taisei's. A second later he realized that sound of two heartbeats filled his ears. They came together so he could only hear one, overpowering heartbeat in his mind.

Falling forwards, he drove his claws into the ground, realizing they were longer and sharper then before. Long brown bangs fell before his eyes, and he attempted to brush them back, without really meaning to. His ears caught the soft sound of a heartbeat, luring him in with its tantalizing rhythm. His golden eyes slipped up, and he caught sight of the creature in front of him. Koskie. The man looked shaken, scared even. Goku remembered their fight, remembered how sly and how enthralling their fight had been.

But then Goku remembered that this man hurt his sun and all thoughts of joy were forgotten. Koskie needed to _die_.

No smile graced the crazed brunet's face as he slowly stood, taking in his enemy before him. No, nothing but pure, unguarded hatred radiated from him. He wanted revenge. He wanted blood. And it was Koskie's he craved.

Finally having his bloodlust centered, Seiten Taisei—Goku—whoever he was smiled softly, looking down towards his claws before springing into action.

---

Gojyo let his Shakujou fly, whipping his wrist and watching the crescent blade flip around, shredding through a nearby shikigami. He watched as its form all but crumbled away, leaving nothing but a paper talisman in its wake. Gojyo paused a moment, watching as Hakkai destroyed a few more shikigami before the brunet turned to look at him with a hard expression. He had heard the screams, and knew what was to become of them.

Slowly, they turned towards the barrier that still held a captive Goku and Koskie. They watched in mild horror as Seiten Taisei rose to his feet, before lunging out and sending Koskie spiraling towards the ground. The creature pinned him, and Gojyo could hear the overpowering insane laughter that echoed through the desolate town.

"Shit Hakkai," Gojyo breathed, watching as Seiten Taisei continually punched the demon before him. He stared wide eyed at it. He would never get used to seeing Seiten Taisei in his full glory. "What are we supposed to do? We're screwed without Sanzo."

"I don't know," Hakkai whispered in reply, taking a calming breath. "But something isn't right."

"No shit!" Gojyo exclaimed. "Goku's going apeshit! I wouldn't call that 'normal'!"

Hakkai's emerald eyes took in the barrier before him, his lips set in a hard line. "I think the barrier's weakening. Help me break it."

"To hell if I'm going up against Seiten Taisei again!" Gojyo shouted. "He nearly killed us last time!"

Hakkai shot him a cold look, and Gojyo bit his tongue, realizing how selfish he sounded. Sighing, he hung his head. "Sorry Hakkai," he muttered, before turning his gaze back up to the barrier before him, then turning to the brunet at his side. "Where do you want me to strike?"

---

The blood! The _blood!_ Goku cackled, ripping his claws down the side of Koskie's face, watching as the demon below him gave out a shriek of agony. Who knew such a simple action could cause him so much joy?! Balling his claws into a fist, he rammed it into the man's chest, loving the sound of the bones that cracked beneath his knuckles. Koskie was little more then a bleeding mass, but Goku had yet to kill him yet. He wanted to prolong the suffering a little longer. Just to amuse himself.

Lost were thoughts of Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai. Lost were the worry for his sun and the fear for his safety. Goku had simply forgotten the world and became engrossed in the task of torturing the young demon under him, for reasons he could no longer remember. It didn't matter anymore. He was having _fun._

As Koskie coughed, attempting to catch his breath, Goku leaned down next to his ear, grinning like mad. "So much for hiding between dimensions," Goku hissed, before clamping his fangs into the junction where his neck met shoulder. Koskie screamed again, and Goku relished in that scream.

Sitting back up, Goku licked the blood from his lips, looking at the bloody mass below him. If nothing was done, then Koskie would bleed to death. Goku grinned at that thought, and gently placed a clawed hand over the man's untouched throat. Horror danced in his eyes and Goku licked his lips in anticipation. "I'll end your pain."

Slowly, his nails began to drive themselves into Koskie's throat. He grinned madly at the sound of the demon's groans. He listened as the blood pooled in the back of his throat, choking Koskie on his own blood. The sound in itself was overly satisfying.

A hand grabbed him by the shoulder, ripping him off the demon and sending him spiraling to the ground. Anger suddenly flared at whoever sought to disturb his fun. Enraged golden eyes settled on Hakkai and Gojyo and he grit his teeth.

"_Back off!"_ his own voice sounded like a deeper, guttural baritone that sounded so tainted with greed and bloodlust. The sound of it made him freeze, too stunned to move. He silently hated himself as the urge to kill his two best friends rose within his chest, and he did everything in his power to quell the bloodlust.

Gojyo grit his teeth. "What the hell do you think you're doing you stupid monkey!?" he yelled, causing Goku to flinch back, while a darker part of his mind wanted nothing more then to beat his face into the ground for raising his voice to him like that. "While you're torturing this idiot, Sanzo's off dying somewhere!"

That struck a cord somewhere deep in Goku's mind, and the boy flinched, eyes widened with the realization that Sanzo was probably dying without him. "Sanzo…" the name had barely passed his lips before Goku sprung to his feet, streaking through the town like lightning, searching for anything that could lead him to his savior. It felt like forever when in reality it was only a few minutes before he caught the scent of Sanzo's blood on the wind. Immediately, Goku followed it, determined to save his sun from the fate set out for him.

He could dimly hear Hakkai and Gojyo attempting to catch up to him, but he didn't bother to wait for them. He quickly bolted into the building that radiated the scent of Sanzo's blood, and realized feverishly that it was a church. Once inside, he scoured the place for any sign of Sanzo, when none came, he returned to following his nose, surprised when it led him to a cellar door. He was clawing at it almost immediately, creating deep slash marks in the wood before he was able to pry it open. He realized he'd been screaming Sanzo's name at the top of his lungs, and his throat hurt from the exertion.

He dropped through the small trap door into the cellar, finding the place not overly large. It could've only been six feet high, and nine feet by nine feet across. He was sickened to the core when his boots met a puddle of blood, and his senses were overwhelmed by the smell of it. "Sanzo!" Goku screamed, terror streaking through him. He fell to the ground, hands coming across Sanzo's form in the darkness, sickened to find it soaked in blood. His eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness and Goku whished more then anything that they hadn't.

Long, unruly slashes covered Sanzo's limbs, and a bigger gash sat at Sanzo's side, which was where most of the blood leaked out of. His face had gone deathly pale, and his eyes were closed. Breathing was shallow, and labored, and Goku feared he would not live much longer. "Sanzo!" he screamed again, his tone panicked. If only he'd come sooner—if only he hadn't been so distracted by the goddamn scent of the demon's fear! "Please! Don't die on me!"

Goku grabbed both sides of the monk's face, flinching when he realized the flesh had gone cold. It terrified him to the core. "Sanzo! Oh god Sanzo! Wake up! You can beat this, Sanzo!"

There was no reply from the blond monk, and in an attempt to wake him, Goku leaned down and captured the man in a one-sided kiss. It was a simple, chaste kiss which Goku poured all of his sorrow and fear into. When he pulled away, he hated the fact that Sanzo had not even reacted to it. He laid his head gently against the man's chest, lost at what to do.

He could sense their presences; hear the slosh of their boots meeting Sanzo's blood as they entered. Gojyo laid a hand to his shoulder and Hakkai immediately got to work healing Sanzo, telling him softly to let go of Sanzo's robe so he could do his work. But Goku refused to comply. He simply couldn't let Sanzo go. It took a bit of effort on Gojyo's part before he was able to pry Goku off the monk and allow the healer to do his work.

Goku kicked and screamed and cried, hating himself all the more as dizziness began to set in, and he could feel burning pain resonating from somewhere on his body. His fogged mind could not point out where. He could barely hear Gojyo scream, "Goku! Your ankle!" before his head lolled and he passed out.

---

Kanzeon had been in her study, a vast amount of books before her as she carefully read through them; pages marked where vital things were needed. Her studying had been quiet peaceful for the last few hours before without warning the doors to her study were thrown open with a loud, echoing, _boom._

Kanzeon looked up, slightly startled as she watched Nuriko storm in, Faye and Maye on her heels. Kanzeon frowned slightly at the goddess but none the less kept quiet. "This is horrible!" she cried, aghast as she ran her fingers through her long hair. "Goku is already on the seventh stage!"

"What?" Kanzeon cried, rising to her feet and jarring the table in the process, upsetting the books slightly, but nothing fell. "How is that possible? I thought you said we had more time?!"

"Thank your precious Konzen Douji!" Nuriko cried, pacing the length of the room anxiously. "Since he was injured in a little scuffle, and Goku had to bear witness to the extent of the damage. It caused him so much pain to see his 'sun' in such a state, the curse skipped right along to stage seven!" she cried, her voice growing to a nasal pitch in her hysteria.

Kanzeon growled, flipping through a nearby book. "What is the seventh stage again?" she demanded, turning her attention from the book back up to Nuriko.

The goddess frowned. "It's Physical Torture. The body will inflict pain on itself in seven different symbols. _Kaimei. Kei. Chi. Hebun. Ogami. Ningenteki. Tenma. _After they've all appeared then Goku will become a god, and no one will be able to stop him."

Kanzeon threw her hands up in the air, sinking back into her chair. "Well you've done a wonderful job of _royally screwing everything up, Nuriko!_"

The goddess frowned, but did not push the matter. "I'm going to the Lower World," she proclaimed finally. "I'm going to deal with matters myself and pry Seiten Taisei and Goku apart with my bare hands if I have to." Kanzeon watched, mildly amused as the goddess turned on her heels, stalking out of the room with an aura of authority.

Only when she reached the door did Kanzeon chose to speak, "Nuriko," she called, watching the young woman stop and turn to face her with a stubborn expression. "Unless you want to doom yourself and the rest of the Lower World; don't kill Sanzo."

The goddess frowned deeply. "I'm not making any promises," she muttered, before turning and quickly heading from the room.

* * *

**A/N: **Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed. Sanzo and Goku are in for a wile ride until the end, which is still not in sight. As always C&C is appreaciated. I love you all. 


	20. Chapter Twenty

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Twenty**

Goku had not left Sanzo's side since they had reached the inn.

Hakkai didn't doubt he would have, but the mental and physical states of his two friends were beginning to worry him. Goku had not eaten in over a week, and Sanzo had not stirred in over a week. Sanzo, Hakkai feared, would soon die. The amount of blood he lost was great, and the injuries were deep. Hakkai knew if the trip to town had been any longer, Sanzo would have bled to death. And although he did worry for the monk, most of his concern was for Goku. Something had changed in him since Nuriko had managed to get her claws in him. For a while, it seemed his mind had gone in reverse, reverting back to when he was a child. But now it seemed to have sped forwards, as though he were not a young adult but an old man who had seen the world and all it held. Hakkai understood that Goku was five hundred years their senior, but he had always somehow managed to maintain that aura of innocence and joy. It seemed now there was hardly any joy left within him. The only smiles that would cross his lips would be those which held a devilish intent. Even those rarely fell on his lips these days.

Goku had _aged_. Not physically, but mentally. It appeared as though he knew everything the world had to offer, and Hakkai had found examples of this behavior in the man. Food didn't even seem to entertain him anymore. Nothing would capture and hold his attention but Sanzo. The man was his sun—always had been. And now it seemed to be the only thing he cared about. Hakkai had seen this behavior even before Sanzo had fallen, and it worried him. A side glace to him, a simple word to Gojyo and then the rest of his attention would be on the chain-smoking blond monk.

He seemed better at masking himself as well. The translucent monkey he had known for so long had suddenly become guarded. Hakkai could no longer read his thoughts or expression as he used to. There was always a wrinkle here and there when Hakkai could catch a glimpse of what lay behind those golden depths, but it was always gone before he had time to inspect it. These wrinkles seemed too few in number the better Goku got at guarding his thoughts.

What unnerved Hakkai the most was Seiten Taisei. The boy had lost his limiter in battle, and when Hakkai had called out he responded. He spoke back. He didn't attack. It made him wonder what was happening between Goku and the demon. Were they learning to co-exist? None the less, when Goku had woken up, Hakkai had merely held out his limiter. Goku had stared at it for a moment, before accepting it and placing it around his head. "Thanks," he'd replied softly. Despite the limiter being in place, Goku's demonic features did not fade.

It had been a terrifying back in the cellar, kneeling in Sanzo's blood and attempting to heal wounds he could barely see in the dim light. The scent of blood had been nauseating and overpowering and Hakkai could only think of how Goku felt. The young man had a hypersensitive sense of smell, even for a demon. The fact that it was Sanzo's blood probably hadn't helped much, either, Hakkai reasoned. He had been momentarily distracted by Gojyo's distressed cry of: "Goku! You're ankle!" He snapped his head up, just in time to see Goku's features contort in absolute pain, hands flying to his ankle in an attempt to stop the pain. But Hakkai could see through his bloodied fingers—could smell the burning flesh in the small room. Goku's eyes had rolled back in his head, and Gojyo caught him, laying him down on the ground despite the blood. Hakkai continued to close Sanzo's wounds, knowing this was no time to get distracted.

Still, he'd spared a glance in Goku's direction, horrified at the mark now burned deep into his ankle. Blood was pouring out of the small wound—much more then there should have been—and the burning flesh had peeled back away from the wound. It was so deep; Hakkai swore he saw a flash of bone. But it had been there—a single kanji burnt into the flesh. _Kaimei._ The Japanese kanji for darkness. Hakkai's eyes had sought out Gojyo's in the dim light, but the man was quick to remove his headband and press it to Goku's ankle. The bleeding had already begun to subside, and Hakkai knew the mark would scar no matter what he did to heal it.

But they already knew what it meant; Goku had begun the seventh stage.

It had been late in the evening when Hakkai and Gojyo slowly made the trek up towards Goku and Sanzo's room. Gojyo carried dinner with them, knowing—_hoping_—that Goku would be in the mood to eat. The young monkey had hardly moved at all while Sanzo had been out of commission, and Hakkai could only wonder what would happen if the monk died. He couldn't—wouldn't even dare—imagine.

Hakkai rapped lightly on the door, waiting for the muffled reply before stepping inside. Goku was seated on the edge of the large bed, next to Sanzo. He was propped up against the wall, his ankle placed up on a chair where it was still wrapped tightly in bandages. Goku's fingers were entwined in Sanzo's hair, massaging his fingers through it to sooth himself while he stared out the nearby window. Goku's demonic features had been dulled, though just barely. Goku had allowed Gojyo to file down his claws mercilessly until they were barely stubs on his fingers. It had been a routine they'd picked up, as his nails simply didn't want to stay short. His hair, it seemed, was having similar problems as it continued to grow no matter how many times they cut it. Nothing could be done about the boy's cat-like eyes.

Slowly, Goku turned his strained golden eyes over to them as the entered, offering a single pained smile. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey monkey," Gojyo said lightly as he stepped across the room, placing the tray of dinner on the table near Goku, offering it out wordlessly. "How have you been?"

Goku simply shrugged half heartedly. "Been better," he mumbled, turning his eyes down towards Sanzo, brushing his fingers lightly across the man's forehead. Hakkai eyed Goku's ankle, smiling encouragingly as he approached the younger brunet. Goku knew where the man's attention was, even without looking up.

"I believe it's about time I change your bandages, eh Goku?" he asked, holding out a fresh roll but waiting for the young man's approval before he stepped towards the task.

Goku shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said, his attention still drawn down towards Sanzo.

Hakkai stepped towards the young man, attempting to put aside the awkwardness as he began to unroll the bandages. Goku let out a sudden yelp, causing everyone to jump. "Careful Hakkai," Goku whimpered. "It really hurts."

Hakkai frowned softly in confusion. He'd seen Goku sustain much worse wounds then this and still walk around. Why was it that his ankle hurt so much? Hakkai tried not to dwell on it as he gave a gentler approach. "It should've stopped bleeding by now, since it was burnt in. So I think by tomorrow we can leave it unwrapped and allow it too—"

Goku gave out a loud howl of pain; practically bending forwards too grab the area near the wound, shuddering. Hakkai's eyes widened in sudden surprise. "Goku? Are you all right?" he cried out, Gojyo was next to him in a second.

Goku tried to catch his breath through grit teeth. "No," he snapped, eyes opened to reveal sharp cat-like eyes that startled Hakkai. "_It hurts_."

After a moment to catch his breath, Goku hung his head. "S-sorry Hakkai. Keep going," he mumbled out, gritting his teeth and hissing as Hakkai managed to rewrap the wound.

They talked softly, mostly avoiding the subject of Sanzo and Goku's odd ankle injury. Goku didn't seem fully into the conversation though. It appeared like he continued to drift off, as though only entertaining Hakkai and Gojyo so he could be alone again with Sanzo. Hakkai took note, but wasn't so keen on leaving the boy alone yet. He wanted to clear some things up first.

"You're thinking about my ankle, aren't you?"

Gojyo and Hakkai started at Goku's words, as the brunet turned once again to look out the window, watching as stars slowly began to appear in the darkening sky. Hakkai said nothing, watching the young man turn his eyes back to them, slowly, cracking a small smirk. "Was I right?"

Hakkai wasn't sure how to reply. "Uh… I'm afraid I was, Goku," he muttered finally.

"_Kaimei,_" Goku muttered. "It means Darkness. The first of seven. _Kei_, or light, follows. Usually on the left knee, or around there. Then _Chi_, or Earth, on my right elbow. _Hebun_, or Heaven comes next on my left wrist." A deep, shuddering sigh escaped him. "Then comes _Ningenteki_, human, on my right shoulder, _Tenma_, or demon, on my left."

"And finally, _Ogami_, God, appears on my forehead. Then I'll lose whatever connection to Earth I had and become a god," the last part was muttered with utmost reluctance as his grip on the sheets grew tight. "It's the last stage, and the most difficult."

Silence engulfed the room and the attention was drawn down to the bound up ankle lying on the chair. Gojyo licked his parched lips, turning back to look at the solemn brunet on the bed. "How do you know all this?" he asked softly.

Goku rolled his shoulder, turning his eyes up to meet the redhead's. "I don't know. I just do."

Conversation was thin after that, and eventually Hakkai and Gojyo said goodnight, turning from the room to head back to there own. They could not hide the concern that marred their features as they stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind them. Goku let out a sigh, reaching up towards the diadem and pulling it from his head and allowing it to fall to the ground beside him. He hated the thing now. It did nothing but give him a migraine, but he wore it in the presence of his friends because he knew otherwise it would be far too uncomfortable.

It was only a few minutes until the call of food became far too strong to ignore, and he leaned out, grabbing the plate Gojyo had left and pulling it closer to him. He could only eat a little before he pushed it back on the table, forgotten. It was shortly after that when the pull of sleep was too strong to ignore, and he drifted off for a few hours.

He had woken up only a few more hours later to Sanzo stirring. Goku felt his heart leap into his throat as he bushed the bangs back from the man's eyes, leaning in close in the hopes that the man would wake. Attentively, he pushed his lips to the other man's, before he began to whisper, "Wake up Sanzo, please. I've been so worried. Please wake up. Please…"

He pulled back just enough to watch eyelids flutter before they opened weakly. Glazed violet eyes peered up at him, only half opened. Goku could feel his heart leap in his chest, and he grabbed the glass of water nearby, cradling Sanzo's head as he pushed the water to his lips. His head jerked to the side suddenly, Sanzo's semi-unconscious state rejecting the water. "C'mon Sanzo…" Goku whispered. "You need to drink something…" Attempting again, Goku was relieved when the monk allowed the water to dribble down his throat. Smiling softly, Goku placed the cup on the table again, unable to hold back his joy or guilt as violet eyes flickered to him, holding little recognition in their depths.

"…Goku…" the man breathed, before his exhaustion got the better of him and he slipped back into unconsciousness. Goku smiled softly, pressing a kiss to the man's forehead.

"Wake up soon," he told the man softly, closing his eyes to allow himself some peace before an undesirable presence began to make its way into their room. A second later and it materialized completely, though Goku decided to ignore it a moment longer. A throat was cleared in front of him and Goku decided that the person could no longer be ignored, and he looked up at them.

"Would you like something, Nuriko?" the young boy asked as he smiled politely, fatigue seeping through his eyes.

Nuriko placed her hands on her hips, scowling at him. "It's time you stopped this Goku. It's time to come back to heaven so we can find a way to pause the curse and separate you and Seiten Taisei."

A soft frown touched Goku's lips. "I don't want to be separated from Seiten Taisei. I'm stronger this way."

"That's the problem. Now come with me to heaven before I decide it would simply be easier to kill Sanzo and force you to come."

A dark look crossed Goku's face. "Don't threaten Sanzo," he told her, growling softly to get his point across.

Nuriko scoffed. "You can't fool me. With that ankle, you can barely stand, let alone fight."

Goku growled darkly, unable to form a sentence. He forced himself to his feet, ignoring the burning, blistering, exploding pain that pounded through his blood. He grit his teeth, growling again as he readied the stubby claws that were just as deadly as they were long. Nuriko frowned. "Don't pull this shit. You can barely stand."

"I only need one shot to kill you," Goku shot out in a low, guttural growl that sounded nothing like him. "I don't need to stand for long. Attempt to attack Sanzo in this condition and I will kill you swiftly, and painfully. You won't be the first god I've killed."

Nuriko looked torn, scowling darkly. In her mind's eye she could see the day that news had reached heaven about Homura's death. "You will help me, Goku. You will become a god and you will help me take over heaven, whether or not you like it. When I come back, expect Sanzo's death," she took a step towards him, smiling. "This is the hardest stage, Goku, and I know how weak you will become. By the sixth mark you'll be crying and begging for death. And that's when I'll come. I'll free you from this curse and you shall stay by my side as we destroy heaven once and for all."

"I'd rather bite through my own tongue," Goku hissed darkly, glaring under brown bangs.

Nuriko simply smiled softly. "We'll see." And then a moment later she was gone.

Unable to hold himself up any longer, Goku fell to the floor, biting his lip to keep himself from screaming. He suddenly bit through skin and he tasted blood, not even noticing as he could only imagine the painful weeks to come.

* * *

**A/N: **I don't like the ending, but I liked the rest of the chapter. The next couple of chapters are really fun to write, because I get to screw around with Goku'ss character even more.

Oh, and Eos-chan and her story Liturgy inspired the seventh stage. xD Tht and the book I'm reading. Thankies Eos-chan!

C&C appreciated.


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

In under a week Sanzo was on his feet again. Everyone had been overly relieved, especially Goku, who hadn't left the man's side for a second since he'd recovered. He seemed overly happy, and almost back to his old self, save for the dark cloud that seemed to hover just behind his golden eyes. Shortly after recovery, Sanzo had been updated about Goku's curse, and the man seemed more then a little unnerved. Goku could barely walk with his busted ankle, and Sanzo deemed that they should stay behind for a few more days.

Gojyo and Hakkai could see the strength gradually returning in both of their companions. With each day that went by it seemed that Sanzo was getting better and better, and slowly but surely Goku's ankle was starting to hurt less as well. They could tell that Goku's ankle still hindered him—a lot. The slightest tap could leave him on the ground in pain, but he was doing better and he could walk, albeit slowly.

Goku seemed to be gaining his strength back with the more food he ate, and Sanzo was glad to see the boy's monstrous appetite back. For a moment, it seemed as though everything was just as how it used to be, before the horrors of Nuriko and her curse had descended upon them.

Sanzo had been sitting on the porch, smoking while watching Goku out of the corner of his eye. The young man was trying to build his stamina, and seemed to be doing a very good job as of late. Sanzo watched as Goku balanced on his left ankle, wavering before bringing his right down to support himself. Sanzo rolled his eyes and continued to smoke.

"Konzen?" Sanzo looked up, cocking a brow in question at the boy who had wandered over to him. Goku had picked up the annoying habit of switching between names lately, and had preferred to call him 'Konzen' even more frequently after he'd woken up. He lost the will to care anymore. He said nothing as the monkey took a seat next to him. "If things… if things looked real bad, would you kill me?'

Releasing the smoke from his lungs, Sanzo frowned. "Where the hell did this come from?"

"I was just thinking," Goku mumbled, closing his eyes and allowing the sunlight to warm his face. "Seiten Taisei and I are merging, and I'm almost a god now, so I thought that, what if Seiten decided to take control? Like, what if he's the dominate in our personalities? If he was a god on top of that, it would be pretty bad."

"Yes, it would," Sanzo muttered. "But that's not going to happen."

Innocent golden eyes turned to him, a pout lining his features as the monkey regarded his sun. "Why do you say that, Konzen?"

"Because we're going to stop that bitch and I'm going to blow a hole through her head," he replied calmly, watched as Goku took the time to pull himself into Sanzo's lap, wrapping his arms around his midsection. Sanzo opened his mouth to voice his complaints, before sighing through his nose and allowing the contact.

"I love you, Konzen," Goku muttered, pressing his face in the folds of the man's robe.

Sanzo stayed silent, putting his cigarette out in the steps next to him. He laid his arms around the young brunet, frowning when the boy suddenly pulled away. Goku skipped back towards the nearby woods, looking up towards the sky with a dim smile. "I don't like Hakkai and Gojyo," Goku said quietly, turning back to look at him.

When Goku did not elaborate, Sanzo frowned. "Why? They're your friends."

"Nope," Goku insisted, turning back to face the sky. "I don't like them. They smell suspicious," Goku wrinkled his nose. "They don't… trust me. It's like they think I'm an animal now, or somethin'." He paused, before spreading his arms wide, and twirling. "So let's leave them behind. Let's run away, just you and me, 'kay Sanzo?"

"Are you nuts?" Sanzo snapped, before he could stop himself. "I'm not running off with some idiot monkey to god-knows where."

Goku turned to him, frowning. "Why not?"

Sanzo scoffed, rising to his feet. "You figure it out; I'm not spelling it out for you." He turned to head back to side, when suddenly boyish laughter filled the area. Glancing over his shoulder, he was stunned to find Goku holding his Smith & Wesson. When the hell did he get that!? Sanzo remembered the hug, and he cursed under his breath. "Fucking monkey…"

Goku smiled, cocking his head to the side. "What's wrong Sanzo? Missing something?"

Sanzo growled, quickly heading down the steps towards him. "You fucking monkey, I'll kill you myself."

"Don't worry Konzen; I'll take away that responsibility."

Sanzo froze when he found his own Smith & Wesson pointed to Goku's temple. The boy smiled, pulling the hammer back. Sanzo swore his heart stopped beating. "Goku…" he breathed, eyes flickering from the gun to Goku's face. In his mental state of the moment, Sanzo knew he probably wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger. "Put down the gun."

Goku's smile only grew. "What's wrong Sanzo? I thought you said you wanted this. You always said you'd kill me one day," Goku's finger tightened over the trigger. "So I thought I'd do it for you."

Sanzo couldn't even voice his protests before Goku pulled the trigger.

---

"I've got it!" Kanzeon exclaimed loudly, to no one other then herself as she grinned broadly, gazing down at the book in awe. A part of her wished Tenpou had still been around through the agonizing search for something that would help Goku. He'd read through all the books in heaven probably about four times each. He would've been a great help.

Kanzeon stood from the table, taking the book with her as she swept out towards the throne room. She threw open the doors, still grinning uncontrollably as she stumbled across Nuriko. "I have it! The perfect way to dispel this curse once and for all," she proclaimed loudly, watching as Nuriko's attention was drawn down towards a book in her hand. Several more were piled at her side, and she seemed to be engrossed within the pages of the book in her hand. Ignoring Nuriko's behavior, she continued. "With this we can—"

Nuriko stood so rapidly Kanzeon couldn't even blink before the book was smacked from her hands, landing within the large pool of water lilies. Kanzeon cursed inwardly, eyeing the book out of the corner of her eye. All the books in heaven were hand written, no doubt that the water was already making the ink run. Her eyes narrowed.

"I can't have you dispel Goku's curse," Nuriko told her coldly, glaring. "I still need him."

Kanzeon pursed her lips, staring at the young goddess in front of her evenly. "Even knowing that any second his mind could snap, and he could become like Seiten Taisei?" she demanded, her voice gaining volume. "Or worse, because there will be no way for us to stop him?!"

Nuriko cracked a small smile, though Kanzeon could detect the anxiety behind it. "I can stop him," she told the Merciful Goddess, her smile growing bolder as her plan began to take shape. "It's called a Mind Vise."

Kanzeon's eyes narrowed further. "A Mind Vise?" she asked, though knowing full well what it was.

"It'll keep him immobile. Every time he does something against my wishes he shall receive pain so great it would make any warrior crumble," she said, smiling. "And now that I've found how to bring about this Vise, I shall place it on him. Then he will never be able to escape."

"Getting close to him will be difficult," Kanzeon warned.

Nuriko nodded in understanding. "That's why I'll have to wait until he's just about to become a god, when he's paralyzed in the transformation." Nuriko moved to step next to her, smiling with mirth. "That should give you, oh, about two weeks to figure out how to stop me." Without waiting for a response, Nuriko turned and stalked from the palace, her head held high.

Kanzeon turned to look out through the ripples of the lake, watching as Goku raised the gun to his temple, and pulled the trigger. She did nothing more then grit her teeth, and hang her head.

---

There was a scream that ripped through the area, and later Sanzo would realize it was his own. The bullet didn't even hit the boy before it exploded in a shower of dust, just like it did when Sanzo had attempted to shoot Homura so long ago. The force from the shot sent Goku spiraling to the ground, the gun lost some meters away.

Sanzo swore his heart stopped beating.

He had to remember to breathe as he shot forwards, bending down at Goku's side as the boy groaned softly sitting up. Sanzo whipped the boy around to face him, making sure that there was no blood anywhere on him before remembering how to speak. Grinding his teeth together in anger, Sanzo prepared to scream the boy stupid, until Goku's shoulders began to shake with sobs. When Goku looked up at him, large golden eyes spilling tears, Sanzo swore something inside him broke.

"Why… Konzen?" the boy whispered, shoulders shaking as he tried to suppress his cries. "I can't even die. The gun won't kill me. Maybe… maybe if I find a rope, or if I bleed to death. Do you think I can bleed to death, Konzen?"

Maybe his response was a bit harsh, but Sanzo saw no other alternative other then smacking the boy soundly across the face.

"Don't you dare talk like that again!" his voice sounded unnaturally gritty and harsh, but not once did Goku flinch. He stared up at his savior, soaking in each word with a simple bewildered look. "I will not have you die on me, do you hear me?!"

"B-but," Goku's head fell, and his shoulders continued to shake. "I can't live without the sun. The earth will die without it, Sanzo. How am I supposed to live if you don't love me?" he cried out pathetically, turning his eyes up to soak in his savior's expression.

Sanzo was stunned, to say the least. Brows furrowing, he simply said, "What makes you say I don't love you?" His tone was soft, and his eyes seemed to have lost some of their harsh appeal as his thumb rubbed Goku's arm. He loved the boy, and had accepted this for a long time now, but an opportunity had never arisen to tell the boy. Perhaps stalling for the perfect moment was only bringing about his lover's destruction.

Goku hiccupped. "Because, you want to stay with Hakkai. And Gojyo. You won't leave with me. If you loved me, you'd be with me, and no one else."

A pang of guilt hit the man, but he otherwise said nothing. He turned to glance over his shoulder, wondering why in the Gods' name no one else had come outside yet. Surely they heard the gunshot. Snorting, Sanzo turned back to Goku, who had stopped crying but now looked up at Sanzo with hope and admiration. Once again he looked like nothing more then the idiot he'd dragged down from the mountain.

Sanzo sighed; what was he getting himself into?

"You should at least have enough intelligence to know we're not going to survive on our own without at least some bedrolls and extra food. A traveling pack would be nice too," he added sarcastically, not having to look up to know Goku was grinning. "Get some things and we'll leave."

"Really?' Goku asked. Sanzo spared him a look, glad to see his golden eyes light up with pure, simplistic joy. He had to suppress a smile.

"Yeah, now move it before I change my mind," Sanzo snapped. Goku all but bounded to his feet, hurrying back towards the inn with amazing enthusiasm.

Sanzo sighed, pushing his fingers deeper into his temples and gritting his teeth. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn't just leave Hakkai and Gojyo behind. He was doing this for Goku's good, he reasoned. In his current state of mind, Sanzo wasn't sure he wouldn't turn around and kill himself, or run away without him. No, it was best to keep Goku content until he could figure out just what he was going to do.

"Konzen," he frowned, practically grinding his teeth to dust at the bright light behind his eyelids and the voice that was always dripping with self-satisfaction. Opening his eyes, he cursed under his breath at the Goddess who stood before him.

"What do you want, you old hag?" Sanzo ground out. It was bad enough that Goku nearly shot himself, he didn't need this now.

Kanzeon looked amazingly solemn as she approached him, taking his hand in hers gently. He snarled at the contact but she held firm. "Sanzo, I want you to keep an eye on Goku. There's no telling what he might do, or what Nuriko might do, for that matter." She slipped something between his fingers, and closed his hand around it. "Keep a hold on this. I don't want you to, but you just might need to use this."

Opening his hand, Sanzo was surprised to find a single silver bullet in his fingers. But it was heavier then a normal bullet, Sanzo found. "What is it?" he asked, cursing his curiosity.

"It's a God-killing bullet. Just shoot it at any god and it will kill it. Just as your gun would a normal demon."

Sanzo felt a smirk crawling on his lips. "Good. Now I finally have something to kill Nuriko with."

Kanzeon just smirked, a lot like her previous smiles, before Nuriko had descended upon them. "Don't lose it," she warned. "'Cause I sure as hell am not making you another one."

Sanzo just shook his head, closing his eyes as the Goddess disappeared in a flash of light. Sanzo could hear Goku approaching from behind as he gripped the bullet tightly in his hand, visions of finally giving that woman what he deserved made him smile.

This bullet was definitely going to be used.

* * *

**A/N: **You can kinda see how things are turning out now. o.o;; Though I warn you, nothing is as it seems. (beams) I'm going to throw in another couple curve balls before I'm done here. Hell, it wouldn't be me if I didn't add more twists right before the end. The next chapter has to be one of my favorites though. And I'm still working on the ending. You guys can vote for a happy or sad ending, because it works both ways in my mind. I'll go with whatever the people want. XD

C&C appreciated.


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

It had been three days since Sanzo and Goku had left Gojyo and Hakkai behind, and nothing seemed any easier then it had to begin with. He had the distinct feeling that Gojyo and Hakkai were tracking them slowly, as he doubted the pair would simply leave them. That thought didn't cross Goku's mind, thankfully, as the boy carried on as though they were completely safe and out of the clear. He was acting like a child again, Sanzo noted, and had been calling him 'Konzen' more and more frequently. Sanzo decided that annoyed him more then anything else.

Sanzo had been leaving clues, hoping that Gojyo and Hakkai were paying attention. They were taking the main roads, and often he would drop little things here and there to make sure Gojyo and Hakkai knew which direction they were heading. He often ground his cigarettes into trees, leaving a black smear in the shape of an arrow if they were changing direction. He just hoped the pair behind him weren't complete and total morons.

Sanzo had been having difficulty growing accustomed to having to walk all day. The cigarettes were catching up with him and more then once he had to sit down and take a breather. Goku was growing annoyed with his humanity, but had said nothing about it.

They were still a few days from town, and they were beginning to run out of food. But when the pair decided to pick up the pace, Goku's ankle decided that was the perfect time to quit on them. Blood had been pouring out of the wound, and the pain made Goku unable to move, let alone stand. Sanzo knew there was simply no way he was going to be able to carry Goku and the pack all the way to town, so they decided to simply pitch a tent and wait for the pain to pass. Luckily, an older man had stumbled across them as they were discussing this, and offered to let them spend the night at his house. The pair happily agreed.

The house itself seemed to be out in the middle of no where, but that seemed to suit the older man just fine. The house was a fairly decent size, and looked to be relatively clean. Goku had been carried into the guest room, and fell asleep just as his head hit the pillow. Sanzo had sat back with the man and his daughter, who looked to be about Goku's age, if not a few years older. Despite himself, Sanzo talked idly with the older man, whose name was Gaut, and his daughter, Meril. The conversation was thin before it trailed off, and the two men simply sat in front of the fireplace, Sanzo enjoying a cigarette while the old man smoked a pipe. Meril was quick to work on dinner.

The door to the guest room creaked open not long after, and a sleep tousled Goku stepped out. His eyes were half-lidded with sleep, and his hair was a mess. He was clothed in a light t-shirt and his jeans, and hobbled slightly where his ankle still hurt. He yawned, stretched his muscles as he limped out of the bedroom. "Dinner smells good," he proclaimed, as he continued limping towards the inviting chair in front of the fire.

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "You're going to kill yourself, you stupid monkey."

"Not a monkey," Goku whined softly, falling into a chair, and smiling at Meril's giggle.

"Don't worry Go-chan, dinners almost ready. How's your ankle?" she asked. Sanzo assumed it was only to make small talk, as she immediately turned back to the stove. Sanzo had to admit the scent of food was even starting to get to him, and he had to focus back on his cigarette.

"Better," Goku replied with a yawn. More small talk was passed between the pair, but soon enough dinner was ready and everyone made their way towards the table. Everyone sat down as Meril began serving. The scent was overpowering and Sanzo tried his best not to scarf it down as quickly as his monkey accomplice, who didn't even seem to be breathing anymore. Conversation fell in place after that, though Sanzo tried his best to stay out of it.

"Konzen! Konzen! Try these rolls, they're awesome! Mer-chan is awesome at cooking," Goku said excitedly, shoving rolls in the monk's face. To make the brunet happy, Sanzo took one with his chopstick, and ate it delicately. It wasn't bad. He turned his attention to the other people around the table, who were completely relaxed. Sanzo wondered idly if they knew he was a Sanzo priest. If they did, they were doing a damn good job at hiding it.

Dinner finished after Goku had polished off the rest of the plates. It seemed that Meril and Gaut were not used to having someone around who could eat a mountain and then some, and were surprised at Goku's insatiable appetite. Then again, who wasn't? After dinner everyone had settled back around the fireplace, talking, before it was unanimously decided that everyone should head to bed. Goku had taken up the guest room, and Meril and Gat had retired to their own rooms. Because of the bed shortage, Sanzo was forced to sleep on the couch, but he didn't mind.

He had been lying on the couch, the thin blanket disregarded as he studied the ceiling above him. The fire was finally dying down, leaving low burning embers to cast the room in a deep orange glow. He stared at the ceiling, studying the wooden boards that ran together in symmetrical lines. He was lost in thought, not really bothering to pay attention as the room gradually became darker and darker. He was mulling over the past few months, wondering how or why things had happened the way they did.

Nuriko and her curse. It seemed like everything was so very peaceful before she'd come into play. The pain it put Goku through, the pain she made them all suffer as they watched the youngest member of their party go through so much without them. But, Sanzo found himself wondering if things would have ended up the same if Nuriko had not come along. Would he have realized how much he cared—dare say loved—Goku if she had never attacked? Would the events have played out the same, save for the pain it caused them to get them there? Or would Sanzo have brewed in his own sorrow, blinded by the love and affection Goku held for him? Sanzo couldn't say for sure, and that was what bothered him.

His thoughts continued to trail onto Goku, and he could not help but worry about his young charge's mental health. Was Goku really going to be okay after everything was done with? If—when, Sanzo corrected himself—they defeated Nuriko, would Goku go back to normal? Would everything just become like it was before, or would things be too tainted, too distorted to go back to the way things were? Was Goku's mind too damaged to return to its normal, carefree existence? Or worse, if Goku's mind snapped and he died…? What the hell would Sanzo do then?

Sanzo frowned at the thoughts entering his mind. Goku was not going to die. He would be damned if he let that stupid little monkey die while he was still alive and kicking. Things may not fall back into the norm right away, but Sanzo would be damned if things ended this way. After he'd finally let the monkey through his barriers, he had planned to spend many years with the brat in his arms and his bed. Nuriko couldn't change that, and if she tried, he was going to make sure she met a horribly painful end. She was going to meet one anyway, but that was beside the point.

The door to the guest room creaked open, sounding overly loud in the quiet room. Sanzo let his eyes trail lazily over to the door, watching as the young brunet who had only moments ago been on his mind. Goku walked quietly across the floor, his footsteps echoing throughout the living room. Sanzo watched him for a moment, and as the boy stepped into the firelight, he saw golden eyes staring at him intently, a small smile lighting his features.

A log cracked.

Goku's limp had become barely noticeable, and Sanzo decided the sleep had done him some good. Goku quickly made his way along the floor, snuggling into the couch beside him, grabbing the fallen blanket and pulling it over himself. "S'cold," he said simply, wrapping his arms around Sanzo's shoulders and burying his face in the man's neck. Sanzo could tell the young man meant what he said, as his skin was cold to the touch.

"You're such a nuisance," Sanzo muttered softly, wrapping his arms around the boy's middle and simply holding him there. He watched the firelight dance over the bare wooden floor, once again thinking. Would it have been possible for him to ignore the bundle of love in his arms forever? Somehow, he had the feeling that if Nuriko had never come among them, Sanzo might've missed the greatest thing that would ever happen to him. With the barest hints of a smile, he leaned down and pressed his lips to Goku's temple.

The bundle in his arms squirmed, a childlike smile lighting his features as he turned to look up at his keeper. Goku wiggled until he could lie face to face with the blond. "Whatcha thinking about?" Goku whispered hoarsely, his hair still sleep rumpled and his eyes were half-lidded with something other then exhaustion.

Sanzo thought back, wondering how on earth he could ever think he could let Goku go. It wasn't even possible for him to lose this, as it was far too precious to him. Even if Nuriko had never come upon them, he had no doubt that he would've eventually cracked, and they would've wound up in each other's arms, one way or another.

"Nothing important," he whispered. And that was true enough.

Goku leaned forwards, giving him a lazy kiss that spoke volumes. Sanzo returned the kiss slowly, nipping at his bottom lip in places. They broke apart, and Goku rested his forehead against Sanzo's, smiling suggestively. He said nothing, and nothing needed to be said. Sanzo leaned up, giving him one last kiss as good night, and Goku fell back, snuggling against his chest and pushing his face into the crook of the man's neck. "I love you, Sanzo," he whispered against his skin.

Sanzo was torn between sharing his own feelings, and simply staying silent. He watched Goku nestle himself comfortably between the blond and the back of the couch, and finally decided that it didn't matter. Placing a hand on Goku's head, he kissed his forehead before leaning comfortably back against the armrest of the couch. He enjoyed the feeling of Goku's heart beating alongside his where his chest pressed against the monk's. It was like a soothing lullaby that pushed him into slumber.

---

They both seemed to awake at the same time early the next morning. Sanzo's eyelids flickered open, and he immediately took in his surroundings. The fire had gone out long ago, and the only light was the slivers of promised sunrise that filtered in through the windows. It was still early, and no one else seemed to be awake yet. Goku kept his eyes closed upon awakening, still enjoying the last reminisce of sleep as he felt Sanzo stir next to him. Sleepily, he opened his eyes, propping his head on his arm as he regarded the man he loved—fully.

Sanzo was staring back at him, violet pools still caught in hazy sleep, but quickly becoming more and more aware the more the monk blinked. His hair was tousled with sleep and Goku couldn't think of a time where he was more beautiful. Neither moved for the longest time, and simply sat watching the other. Gold and violet smothering each other with untold passion and love. So much was said silently between them in the early morning silence. An entire conversation that would've taken decades to pass through lips transpired in a moment, and that was all they needed.

"Ready?" Sanzo whispered, his voice unusually light and airy in the silent room.

"Always," Goku replied softly. He gave a soft, understanding, _mature_ smile with no devilish intent that Sanzo hadn't seen for what felt like years.

The two stood silently, and collected their things. Goku dressed, and Sanzo pulled his robes up over his shoulders. Sanzo decided to take the bag, and hoisted it up over his shoulders. It wasn't that heavy, but he didn't want the excess weight slowing Goku down. The brunet seemed to catch his intent, and smiled in thanks. Hurrying next to him, Goku grasped the man's hand, interlacing fingers and squeezing soothingly. Sanzo allowed the contact while no one was around, squeezing back.

The pair stepped out into the early morning light, and Goku paused, leaning up to kiss the monk softly on the lips. Sanzo returned the kiss, before the pair turned, and disappeared out into the early morning sunrise.

They had no where to go but west.

---

Sanzo had been more then relieved as the day carried on like the previous morning had. Hell, he was ecstatic! Goku's mood had escalated and he seemed like the Goku Sanzo thought he'd lost. Once or twice Goku had caught Hakkai and Gojyo scent trailing behind them, and made intricate turns to make sure they'd lose them. All the time Goku had been giggling away, his eyes bright with the joy of the game. Because that's what it was to him—this whole thing seemed like one big game that everyone was playing.

Sanzo wasn't sure he liked the idea of playing along to Goku's game, but didn't want to upset the boy. So he simply followed along obediently, dropping a hint for Hakkai and Gojyo every once in a while. Things were going according to plan.

Or, they had been.

But that evening as Sanzo and Goku set up their campsite, something went wrong. Sanzo wasn't sure what, just that it was wrong. Goku had seemed oddly out of it as he watched the fire flicker and dance before him. Sanzo said nothing about it as he proceeded to cook. He couldn't cook as well as Hakkai, but they managed somehow. It had been silent until Goku chose that moment to speak.

"Can you kill me, Konzen?"

"What?" Sanzo exclaimed so suddenly it startled himself. Goku was staring at him, golden eyes wide and luminous, haunted by the glow of the firelight. His brow creased as he stared at the young demon in front of him, wondering what was going through his mind.

"Can you kill me?" Goku repeated, as though the monk had simply not heard him, instead of confusion which caused him to cry out. "If I wanted you to, would you kill me?' The brunet pulled himself over towards the blond, grabbing both his hands and placing them to his own neck. "Could you strangle me to death right now? For me?"

Unnerved by the way Goku was talking, Sanzo pulled his hands away, fixing the monkey with a hard stare. "What's wrong with you? I thought we decided that if I went with you then you wouldn't have to die."

"But it hurts, Konzen," Goku whimpered, turning his shining golden eyes up to meet his keeper. "It hurts so much, all the time. And… what happens when I become bad? What are you going to do, Konzen? What happens when I become evil and kill everybody? Am I being punished, Konzen? Did I do something bad?"

Sanzo could only stare at the young brunet, crumpled and confused in front of him, staring at him as though he had all the answers. With a sigh, Sanzo pulled Goku close. "No, Goku, you haven't done anything bad, and you aren't being punished." His grip on the young man tightened as he pushed his cheek into the top of Goku's hair. "It's all going to be over soon. The pain is going to end really soon."

Goku smiled softly, closing his eyes. "Okay."

Sanzo wished he could be so easily consoled. And he wished—prayed—hoped that somehow, the gods would grant him more time so he could figure out what he was supposed to do.

But of course, the gods didn't seem to be on his side as he was awoken by Goku later into the night to hear him screaming out in agony. _Kei_ had appeared on Goku's left knee, as predicted. Sanzo held the young man for a long time as he continued to cry and writhe in complete agony.

Sanzo had never been closer to shooting Goku just to rid him of the horrible pain. But he was not a man to be won over by temptation, and so all he did was attempt to keep Goku still for many more agonizing hours.

Sanzo hated himself more then ever because of it.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, guys. But I had writers block for a while, then Otafest to take care of, so there were a lot of last-minute costumes and skits that needed to be done. We did pretty well, if I say so myself. I hope this chapter makes up for it, and I'm sorry once again.

C&C appreciated.


	23. Chapter TwentyThree

**In These Dying Hours **

**Chapter Twenty-Three **

Goku had been immobile for two days.

He had mostly slept through the pain, leaving Sanzo alone to deal with his thoughts. They hadn't been good company, so Sanzo spent most of his time in bitter silence. The mark had appeared just above Goku's knee. _Kei_ looked as though it had been messily carved out of his flesh, deep enough to almost touch bone. Strangely enough, when _Kei _appeared, _Kaimei_ had begun bleeding along with it. Sanzo had to bandage both his ankle and his knee, though he wisely waited until the boy had passed out, because even in the depths of unconsciousness Goku still writhed and whimpered.

Save for the moments when Sanzo had to change the boy's bandages—the bleeding hadn't stopped for two full days and it was driving Sanzo mad—Goku didn't so much as roll over in his sleep. He lay absolutely still, like a fresh corpse to be examined by the coroner. Sanzo found that analogy very disturbing.

Sanzo didn't doubt that Gojyo and Hakkai were still tracking them. They appeared to have fallen behind, as even with two days they had still not caught up with them. On the second day when he'd been terribly bored, he'd ventured out to give the other men some hints as to where they were. He left a trail for anyone who wasn't a complete moron, and had even taken the time to write a note, pinning it to a tree before wandering back to the campsite. By that time Goku had awoken, and had asked Sanzo if they could move out. The boy seemed anxious about staying in one place for too long and Sanzo didn't blame him.

So, they packed everything up in the backpack and Sanzo lifted it on his shoulders. Goku was able to stand, but he still needed support walking. Sanzo didn't exactly like the idea of Goku moving when he clearly couldn't, but said nothing about it as they continued walking.

They walked for almost the entire day until Goku had finally collapsed, and they set up camp.

Sanzo had been cooking dinner when Goku had begun complaining about the pain. After a while Sanzo had gotten fed up with it, and helped the brunet down the path to a nearby stream. It was only knee high with a soft current. Though the water was cold, Goku stripped himself of his jeans—showing no modesty whatsoever—as dipped himself into the stream. Sanzo stayed by his side, watching as he hissed, his face contorting in pain. He could see the blood drifting down the stream, before it dissipated into the water. They stayed in silence for a moment, as Goku relaxed into the cold water and Sanzo indulged in the brunet's presence.

"Ready to go?" Sanzo asked quietly, surprising himself with the level of caring in his tone. For some reason, with only Goku to see him, showing a bit of vulnerability was all right.

Goku looked up at him, and shot him a cheeky grin. He felt a painful blow, as though someone had punched him hard in the stomach. Why was it Goku had had that effect on him? "Yeah, Okay," the monkey-boy replied softly, holding his hands up and flexing his fingers like a child who wanted up.

"I'm not carrying your ass back to camp," Sanzo snapped, but despite his words he leaned down, pulling the boy out of the river and setting him on the bank. "Now put your pants on."

Goku grinned mischievously, grasping Sanzo by the arms. "I don' wanna," the boy said childishly. He pulled the blond into a firm kiss, losing his childlike demeanor as he kissed Sanzo with pent-up passion and love. Sanzo shoved him away by his shoulders with a soft snarl.

"Shut up and put your pants on."

Goku snickered, pulling on his pants agonizingly slow, knowing how much he was taunting Sanzo. With his back against the ground, the young man flexed his hips upward, causing a jolt to rip through Sanzo's groin. Goku grinned suggestively, while Sanzo snorted, crossing his arms. The monkey may have been interested now, but the second his wounds were upset he would be screaming, forcing Sanzo to stop. And there was no way Sanzo was starting something, only to have to stop halfway through.

Sanzo helped Goku to his feet, heading back towards the campsite. As they arrived, Sanzo cursed and Goku let out a shout of horror. Their entire campsite had been ransacked while they were gone. It couldn't have been any more then half an hour, yet it seemed everything had been torn apart and taken. Most importantly, their traveling pack had been taken, containing the Three Aspect's gold card.

---

"Sanzoooo…"

"Shut up."

"But Sanzoooooo…"

"I said shut up.

"But Sanzoooooo, I'm really _hungryyyyyyy!_"

Sanzo ran a hand through his hair, covering the grimace that lay across his features. He hated to admit it, but the monkey had a point. It had been two days since their pack had been stolen, leaving them with little to nothing to use, or eat. They had been foraging for what felt like too long, and even Sanzo had to admit the hunger was starting to get to him. Goku had managed to regain enough strength to walk on his own, but Sanzo refused to let him carry the pack. He didn't need the boy's legs giving out and having to stop before sunset.

Luckily, the pair had come across a town. Both had been relieved, but then annoyed when they realized they didn't even have enough money to get themselves a hotel room. Food was scarce between them and with Goku's appetite they might as well have been eating nothing.

After a day Sanzo had resorted to getting them jobs. Both detested the idea but at that point it seemed they had no other choice.

They were fired within two days.

Sanzo let his eyes stray back and form down the street, hoping for anything that would scream 'free money' right in his face. Because that was essentially what he needed right now.

"Sanzo!"

Turning, he frowned as he watched Goku approach him, grinning like mad and waving a flyer in his face. "Look! Look what I found! We can get some money!"

Frowning, Sanzo grabbed the flyer from hi hand and took it in. A large logo of 'Underground Cage Fight' caught his attention first, and a feeling of dread began to seep into his chest. But the prize money was enough to cease his immediate response. He frowned, turning up towards Goku's smiling face back to the flyer in his hand. Uncertainty began to eat away at him but he was at the point where it could almost be called desperate. Before he could say anything, Goku grabbed his wrist.

"C'mon!" he said happily, grinning away like a child with a new toy. "It's not far from here, c'mon! C'mon!"

Sanzo sighed softly, allowing the young brunet to drag him towards the apparent Cage Fight. If anything they could just sneak in, take a peak and then leave. They had no obligation to stay. The pair headed through back alleyways, and towards a large metal door. Goku took a moment to inspect the door, before knocking loudly on it. A tall man answered, standing back to allow them inside.

The room in which they walked into was dark, and huge. It looked more like a storehouse then a real room. There were men everywhere, most of them older and greasy with an air of brutality about them. In the center of the large room was a ring with a cage that reached up into the roof. Two men were in the process of fighting, one with a large, lethal looking hook and the other with a club. All the men in the room were cheering and shouting. Sanzo winced as the man with the hook caught the other in his shoulder.

This wasn't good. "Goku?" Sanzo called. "I think we should le—" Turning back towards the young brunet, Sanzo was surprised to find the boy already at a table, talking to a man. Cursing under his breath, he hurried over to the boy.

"You want to make a bet, little boy?" the man behind the desk cackled, his sausage-like fingers entwining as a predatory look crossed his beady eyes.

Goku grinned sickly, placing his palms to the table. "I want the prize money. Who do I have to fight?"

The man laughed. "You? Fight?" Goku's eyes darkened and he growled softly. The man held up his hands. "All right, you want the money, beat that man." He jabbed a fat finger in the direction of the man with the hook.

"When's the next fight?" Goku asked with a predatory gleam, a smirk working its way on his lips. Sanzo knew that Seiten Taisei's personality was seeping through, and he wondered exactly where this fight would go. He didn't doubt that Goku could easily win against a human, but he was still unsure about how Goku's knee was.

The man glanced over his shoulder as a scream tore loose, causing the hoots and hollers to grow. "Looks like about now," the man stood, smiling. "Come on pipsqueak. You need a weapon?"

"Nah," Goku replied with a bounce in his step as he turned to follow the man. "I'll be fine."

The man snorted.

Sanzo felt himself able to react again, and reached out, grabbing Goku's wrist. He wanted to say something that would deter the young man from doing something so stupid and reckless, but the look Goku shot him made the words die on his lips. The look in his eyes clearly said that negotiation was not an option. Sanzo liked to think that Goku never had the will to stand up to him, as the young man was too kindhearted to think of crossing his guardian. It only confirmed in Sanzo's mind that this was not the boy that had slipped through his hands what felt like years ago.

Goku pulled his wrist back, and headed towards the cage with the other man. The man with the bat was being dragged out of the cage with gruesome slashes all along his limbs. Sanzo was quick to push by the men towards the front of the ring. He'd had to bat away more then one pair of hands that tried to reach out towards him.

He watched as Goku headed into the ring with the large man with the hook. Goku stood completely confident, hands on his hips and a bloodthirsty smile on his lips. Men yelled and threw things, as the announcer called out their names. Sanzo could feel his throat close up as the announcer started the match.

The man with the hook sprung out first, swinging it with deadly accuracy. Goku jumped back to avoid the strike, but his back collided with the cage and he cursed. Turning back to the man in front of him, he dodged another strike, rolling away. When he rose to his feet, Sanzo could see him waver, and the spark of pain flicker through his eyes. That was when the man smacked him hard with him hook, and Goku was thrown back into the fence. Sanzo felt his throat close up at Goku's cry of pain that was drowned out by the sounds of shouts.

Goku dodged the next strike barely, and narrowly avoided a pointed hook. Sanzo watched with wide eyes. This was bad. Goku's movements were delayed, and it seemed like his ankle was bothering him again. He watched the boy avoid the hook again, only to have his legs swept out beneath him and slammed hard to the cement floor. Sanzo winced at Goku's soft cry of pain. This was looking bad. They wouldn't actually let Goku die, would they?

Sanzo's eyes snapped to what he assumed was the judge's table, and in horror he found none of them even paying attention to the match. Turning his attention back to the cage, Sanzo watched as Goku attempted to slam a kick towards the man, who blocked with the hook. Sanzo could see the pure pain on Goku's face as he backed up against the bars again, gripping them as he glared the other man down. The space was too small; Goku wasn't used to fighting in a close-spaced area. Sanzo's fear and worry began to mount, and he hated Goku for making him feel that way.

But then Goku landed a hit, and everything changed.

The man clutched his bleeding nose, cursing. The scent of blood seemed to trigger something within Goku. His stance was suddenly different, the look in his eyes. Something about him just changed.

Suddenly it wasn't a fight anymore but a bloodbath. Goku was landing hits on all sides, snickering as his claws soaked with blood. The man had lost his hook long ago and was pathetically trying to keep up with Goku's speed. He was whimpering and crying and screaming and everyone around was just yelling for it to continue. Sanzo felt sick. This was looking very bad.

Goku ran his claws across the man's neck, laughing in an insane manner as the blood spilt out over the cement. The man was already dead, but Goku didn't seem to care. He continued slashing and laughing, enjoying the torment to no end. After finally having had enough, Sanzo bolted towards the cage door. He snatched the keys from the man fumbling with them, opening the door and heading right into the arena. He grabbed Goku by the shoulders, whipping him off the man. Goku snarled, and racked his claws along Sanzo's face.

Sanzo could feel the stinging pain from where Goku's claws slashed his face. He could feel the blood dripping down his cheek but he didn't dare move. He stood there, his face completely solemn as he took in Goku's expression. The brunet looked absolutely horrified, eyes wide as he took in his keeper. He looked on the brink of tears. "S…Sanzo…?" he breathed, feeling himself shaking.

"Come on," Sanzo said softly. "Let's get out of here."


	24. Chapter TwentyFour

**In These Dying Hours**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Goku cracked his eyes open early that morning as the light shining on the back of his eyelids pulled him from slumber. Attempting to roll over, Goku found himself wound tightly in a familiar embrace. Twisting his neck to the side, he found Sanzo blissfully asleep next to him, eyelids fluttering in a dream as his lips parted. Goku could not help but let a soft smile catch his lips as he took in the sleeping blond before him, but then his eyes trailed to the three long slashes on his cheek and his smile faltered.

After they had left the match last night, they had rented out a hotel room. With the money they won they'd have enough to last them a while. When they had arrived into the room, Goku had been hysterical with remorse, apologizing endlessly. Sanzo had repeatedly told him it was fine with an amount of patience that could only come from living with the monkey for years and years.

But Goku had not felt any better. Even after the pair had made love Goku had still felt low, because every time he saw the three slashes across Sanzo's face he thought of himself as a monster. He had been so wound up in killing the man with the hook that he hadn't even sensed Sanzo's presence until it was on him, and he attacked without thinking. Seeing the crimson run down Sanzo's pale cheek had almost been too much to bear. Goku though he could roll over and die right then, and when Sanzo had spoken in that soft tone, Goku could only think he did not deserve it.

For a moment, his thoughts had been clear, and he truly understood what a monster he had become.

But then only a second after the wash of shouts around him had driven the maddening thoughts back into his head, and he felt like screaming. His thoughts were so destructive and scattered that it was impossible to focus on them. Scrambling around his head like rats freed from the cellar. Only when they'd arrived back in the inn did his thoughts settle from a shrieking to a dull roar. But they had only grown even more turbulent from then on. The sex had been good to distract him, but afterwards he found he couldn't sleep. It wasn't like when Nuriko had stripped him from the ability to sleep; more like his thoughts were too troubled to allow his body to relax completely.

Who was he?

He wasn't even sure anymore. Was he Goku? Was he Seiten Taisei? Or should he be given a new name, all to himself. A name that would suit this new creature—this new monster—that had killed Goku and Seiten and taken over their body. Was he even that monster yet? Was this just the last shred of his consciousness left, as the new breed of demon waited to devour him completely? What would it do, as Goku? What would it do as a God? Would this new creature, born not of the earth but of the combined souls of Seiten and Goku, would it kill people? Would it harm those he loved? Would it harm Sanzo?

His golden eyes flickered down towards Sanzo's slumbering face. His breathing was even, and the brunet could only wonder what thoughts were going through the monk's head? Were they peaceful? Goku felt a spike of jealousy at the thought. Why did his thoughts have to be so turbulent when Sanzo's could be so peaceful? He suddenly wanted to steal the thoughts from Sanzo's head. As he began to mull over that thought, he shook his head, relaxing back down into the pillows. Steal his thoughts? Could a person steal his thoughts? Was it possible? Goku's brow furrowed as the confusing thoughts began to bounce through his head.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. Was what he going to do? He could feel the demon stirring within him; their strange connection growing stronger with both of their incoming demises arriving. By blending them, they would both undoubtedly be devoured by the other, ending each other's lives. The Monkey-King and the Great Sage Equal to Heaven would cease to exist, and there would be nothing to replace it but some twisted form of them both.

Turning his concerned gaze to his lover again, he could only sigh softly through his nose. Was that the end then? Seiten Taisei and Goku would cease to exist, and Sanzo would probably be killed by either Nuriko or this new form who would become him? No, Goku thought darkly as his eyes shadowed to an almost amber color. He wouldn't let Sanzo die, because Sanzo belonged to him. Sanzo was his toy. Sanzo was his plaything. Sanzo was his freedom, his prison. Sanzo was insanity in its barest form, was joy in its purest sensation. Sanzo was his sun, his universe, his _whole_.

Sanzo was his.

And likewise, Goku belonged to the blond. As a pet, as a lover, as a slave, as a servant. Whatever Sanzo saw him as, Goku was glad to fill that role. Because he belonged to the man in every sense of the word. In that way, maybe their relationship was a twisted, mutual possession. Goku didn't think so.

As he suddenly understood exactly the conclusion he had come to, his expression hardened. Smiling devilishly, Goku could practically feel the demon within him coming to the same conclusion. They would have to keep each other apart, forcefully. It would take a hell of a lot of effort, but if they both worked on it, Goku had a feeling they might be able to handle it until a better solution could be found. But what about the parts of him that had already merged with the demon?

Rising to his feet, Goku strode naked across the room, slowly, his feet almost sliding across the carpeted floor. It was warm, as the sun had been shining through the window down on it for hours now. He spared a look to his sleeping lover, before stepping into the bathroom.

Looking up at himself, Goku felt sick. His hair, which had stopped being cut some days ago, was now down to his waist again, and his fingernails, if they could be called that, were a few centimeters past his fingers. They were sharp, and told tales of the lives they stole. His normally athletic frame seemed even scrawnier. He'd lost some muscle mass during this curse, and it didn't quite fit the rest of him. He looked small—underfed almost. The rings around his eyes told tales of sleepless nights turning and twisting in the sheets as he fought of thoughts of pain. And his eyes…

Goku resisted the temptation to glare at his own reflection. His eyes belonged to a monster. The gold color had been darkened to an almost amber shade, and instead of normal, round pupils his were cat-like slits, as though he had run his own claw through molten gold, revealing an eye. They were so devilish, so… so…

Demonic.

He wasn't a demon. He wasn't even born of the earth. They could all say what they wanted but he was not a demon. He refused to be called a demon. He had to be something else. He would refuse to be a demon. To be this golden eyes teenager. He refused to be Goku. No. Goku was already dead and nothing was left but his lingering consciousness. A lingering consciousness that still clung to his body like a soul refusing to believe it was dead.

_Son Goku is dead. I am something else. _

Turning his smoldering gaze over his shoulder, the brunet caught sight of Sanzo still lying peacefully asleep on the bed. He had to save Sanzo before Goku's consciousness disappeared, and he killed the one this body loved. His gaze trailed back to the mirror and he smiled. This little problem could be rectified.

He placed a clawed hand over his own arm, racking him down his forearm and watched the blood drip out, pouring down his arm and splattering silently on the bathroom floor. The brunet's eyes widened slightly, as though in disbelief that he was actually bleeding. It actually worked? Snickering softly in pure joy, he began racking his claws all over his own body; his other arm, legs, mid-section, face. He left deep gashes that poured out blood, and he giggled happily at the sensation.

As he turned his attention back to the mirror, he decided it was time he stopped playing around. The monster had to die. Starting with its eyes. Reaching a clawed hand out, he hovered above him eye, before he pressed his claw to the eyeball. He paused a moment, before pushing inwards and his vision turned red.

His own hand was ripped from its position, unfortunately leaving his eye attached. The brunet snarled, looking up at Sanzo who glared down at him with a positively hateful expression. Goku felt himself shrink under that harsh glare. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he bellowed, causing tears to collect in Goku's eyes and the brunet to flinch back. "Goku! Answer me! What kind of crap do you think you're pulling? I thought we talked about this! Are you even listening anymore? Goku! Goku, answer me!"

He really wasn't listening anymore. He continued hearing his own name echoing through his own ears, and he placed his hands over them, as though his own name was acid in his mind. "Stop it! Shut up!" Goku screamed, silencing Sanzo with his tone. "Stop calling me that! Don't call me by that name!"

Pulling back from the monk, the brunet wheezed heavily, as though the outburst took a lot out of him. Sanzo's eyes strayed momentarily to the slashes all along the boy's body, and he sighed, holding out his hand. "Goku, I—"

"_NO!_" the monkey screamed with sudden ferocity, backing up until his feet met the small bathtub. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands still clamped tightly over his ears. "I'm not Goku! I'm never Goku! Goku's not me! Goku dead! Goku gone! Bad Goku! I'm not Goku!" The brunet threw his head back and forth, vehemently trying to deny the fact that he was, indeed, this creature called Goku.

Sanzo sighed softly, attempting to find a way to speak to the boy without having him reply in screams. "Okay then," he said, calmly. "What should I call you?"

Goku opened his eyes and hissed at him in an animalistic fashion.

Sanzo sighed again, trying a different approach. "If you're not Goku, then what happened to him?"

The brunet paused, glaring up at him as though he knew the answers and was toying with him. "I'm not Goku," he repeated again, eyes narrowing as his lips drew into a fine line. "Goku's bad. I don't like Goku."

"Why is Goku bad?" Sanzo asked with an amount of patience that would have made his master proud. Truly, he didn't understand what had gone wrong. Last night had been almost perfect. He hated that Goku's curse could flip his emotions so easily. It only made Sanzo want to speed things up. But Nuriko had to be coming to claim Goku again soon, right? He was, after all, on the last stage.

"Goku's bad," the brunet repeated, eyes clouding over as he hugged his arms to his bare chest, staring at some random point at a wall. "He thinks bad things. Bad things, Sanzo. He wants to steal you from me. He wants you all for himself, but I won't let him. I won't let him take you away from me, Sanzo. Because you're mine."

Goku was completely delirious, Sanzo thought with a snarl. This only made things even more difficult.

"Well, if you aren't Goku, then I'm afraid I don't belong to you," Sanzo said cockily, watching the horror dance in Goku's amber eyes. "I belong to Goku," the words were _painful_ to say aloud, but he resisted the temptation to wince, "So if you're not him…"

Goku lunged out as Sanzo let his sentence hang, gripping his bare arm and shaking him with wide, wild eyes. "No Sanzo!" he cried, like a child trying to get their parent to believe there truly _was_ a monster under the bed. "I'm Goku! I am! And Goku's not bad! Goku will be good, I promise! Don't leave me!"

Sanzo resisted the temptation to smirk at his victory, but the feeling faded when Goku suddenly let go of his arm to clutch his own. Goku's features screwed up in pain and Sanzo could see the blood dripping through his fingers. Goku let out a pained yell, and Sanzo grabbed him to make sure he didn't fall. "Ah! Sanzo! H-help! It… it hurts!"

Sanzo gently eased his charge onto the toilet seat, leaving him for only a moment to grab bandages. Not a lot of good they would do, but it was all he could really do. Heading back to his charge's side, he found the boy had slipped from the toilet onto the floor, where he was kicking uselessly at the tiles, spreading blood from where his knee and ankle bled. Sanzo attempted to keep the brunet still as he took the boy's right elbow from him, looking over _Chi_ which was carved just as deeply as the other two. Goku whimpered and sobbed, shook and writhed where he lay, watching as Sanzo gently placed the bandages to the boy's elbow. This tore a scream from the boy and more tears that rolled down his cheeks.

"Sanzo!" he cried, his voice wavering. "It… _burns!_"

That was all Sanzo needed, and that was a good thing seeing as Goku could do little more then whimper, sob and scream. Hoisting the boy up, Sanzo dumped him gently into the shower, turning the water on cold and allowing it to pour down on the boy. Sanzo crawled in, clutching the boy to him as the freezing water slowly put out the fire buzzing through the boy's veins. Goku bit his lip to keep himself from screaming, and eventually he bit through it, causing blood to fill the inside of his mouth.

Sanzo wasn't sure how long they sat in the tub, Sanzo clutching the boy in his arms and Goku dazed, attempting to swim through the pain. The constant downpour of cold water had turned to an off buzzing in his ears, and his legs had long ago gone numb. Goku clutched him like a lifeline, eyes half-lidded as he stared off into some mixed dreamland. Sanzo would've found the entire scene arousing if it wasn't so disturbing.

"Sanzo…" Goku breathed against his skin, causing chills to run up his spine.

"What is it?" Sanzo asked calmly, brushing his fingers through the boy's hair.

"I was just wondering… do you ever think things can go back to how they were before? Before all this stuff happened. Back to the west? Back with Hakkai and Gojyo?" Goku asked in a slurred voice, eyes closing.

"I know they will," Sanzo said quietly, as he watched his charge begin to slip off into an exhausted sleep. "And all this will just… fade away…"

Goku let a small smile catch his lips. "Okay..." And then the boy slipped off into slumber.

Sanzo had taken a moment to wake up his legs before he stood, turning off the frigid waters and getting a better grip on the young brunet in his arms. He then picked the boy up with ease, and stepped out of the tub, crossing the room and placing him softly on the bed, not caring that he was soaking the bed sheets.

Taking one last look at his lover, Sanzo turned to grab some bandages.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey everybody. Sorry it took so long to update, but I've been getting really lazy lately. I'm saddened to say that In These Dying Hours has come to a standstill in my mind and the inspiration well has run dry. It seemed like when one of my stories hits two hundred reviews it dies. (laughs) But I will finish this; it'll just have to go on Hiatus for a little bit. So, sorry to leave you on the edge, but this is the last thing I was able to churn out.

C&C still appreciated.


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